The Madness of Bellatrix Lestrange

Neon Orange

The sky he was staring at .

Three weeks . Three.

21 days, actually just 17, is all it took for me to fall into his arms.

Of course I had before, but 17 days before I did so willingly , before I sought his arms before they found me.

Our time in France for our honeymoon had done wonders for our closeness . For my willingness to be open to us.

It could have been the beautiful views, the museums .

Romantics would say the slow walks on the beach by the crystal sea hand in hand at sunset .

Logic would say it was our bodies coming together every night, every morning and then some, him whispering sweetly spoken French phrases in my ear.

But would I say it was proximity. Slightly our now constant proximity to each other.

Much more so, my lack of proximity to him- Lucius.

It wasn't until the nineteenth day that I noticed it. I had crawled into his lap after a morning shower, after we'd awoken and found each other . He was sitting on our balcony, hot cup of tea in his hand watching the deep oranges and reds of sunrise start to be chased away by impending blue.

I took the cup from his hand as he looked up at me confused , I sat it down on the glass table to his left and slid my body onto his lap, my arms around his neck.

"Bonjour Bebe" I purred.

"Mmm Bonjour mon rayon de soleil" he said kissing my lips delicately as though they could break.

In case you didn't know- he said "Good morning my ray of sunshine" , because he was watching the sunrise.

I know. Romantic.

We both had French heritage and lavish French countryside familial homes (both of which are now mine) he was far more in tune with his French heritage being that he got it from both his father and mothers side. Mine just from my mother's Rosièr family.

My father being English, we barely spent time in our home there, whereas Rodolphus' family was constantly retreating to the French countryside . That's where he was at the end of Hogwarts term until two days before our wedding while I snuck Lucius in my bed nightly. Id feel bad if I wasn't sure he'd done the same with a string of random aller aux putes.

You can translate that one for yourself.

He'd spent our time trying to instill much of our shared French heritage into me, )as well as other things) , that his face beamed when I greeted him with my normal morning phrase "Goodmorning baby" (I always called him baby) but in French.

Or so that's what I thought until that kiss. That kiss he placed delicately on my red lips like a prayer. Or more like an answer to one.

It wasn't my words but my actions that struck him. I realised . Id come to him , sought him out for the past two days, for the first in our time "together" (forced so by an arranged betrothal ) in 18 months, my arms were seeking his instead of merely responding.

And it meant the world to him.

To me That realisation made my heart pang. I already loved another, gave my heart to him. Was just biding time obediently until he finished school when we'd break tradition, break family ties and apparently now break Rodolphus' heart when Lucius and I ran off together to make our own life , our own fairy tale, our own happily ever after.

But being here without access to him, I grew more distant. When we got back Id only have two weeks before he went back to Hogwarts.

I wouldn't do it. Not so soon after my wedding. Not with Rod home. He'd planned nothing for the rest of the summer. "To help us get settled in" he'd said. I saw through him, the clever boy. He was keeping his eye on me.

For good reason .

Proximity , mixed with everything else seemed to be the key. Close proximity to Rodolphus , mainly lack of it to Lucius allowed me to open up to my husband. I was glad to find I could be that to him- a wife , a caring one... A loving one? I sighed. I was falling for him. I did love him. Maybe not like I loved Lucius but a kind of compartmentalised love.

My ability to compartmentalise things is one of my greatest strengths but it also allowed my greatest evils. I could compartmentalise good and evil based on blood purity. It was okay because they weren't pure. Putting people in categories took the feelings out of it just like I was doing now.

Compartmentalising my love .

My heart belonged to Lucius but I could love Rodolphus because he was who I loved now. He was my husband and wives loved husbands . It was my lot for 2 years until Lucius graduated and so I was allowed to love.

Still I felt guilty "don't fall in love don't fall in love " had been my mantra for the three weeks but by day 17 Id fallen.

My thoughts were interrupted by a whisper

"Belle " (he'd taken to the French variation of a nickname for me)

"Belle, tu es ma joie de vivre. Je t'adore."

(Im the joy of his life he adores me)

"J'ai besoin de toi" (oh god he needs me)

.....he kissed me deeply.

" Don't fall in love don't fall in love "
......Dont tomber en amour ......

"Je t'aime , Roddy. Je t'aime"

........Lé sigh .... I ai tombé.....