The Madness of Bellatrix Lestrange

Black: Toujours Trahir

"Don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at."
– Maya Angelou

Black.

The family I hated .

"They all leave me all of them!" I yelled before I was pulled backward, Rodolphus' strong arms wrapping around my waist pulling me into his lap.

He had me sat across his legs and pulled my head to rest on his shoulder and he started to stroke my hair. We hadn't been married long, but he already knew the best way to calm me - touch.

He stroked my hair as he let me vent.

"First Sirius moves out and in with that arrogant idiot Potter . He's not even finished schooling. I can't believe he did. I know Aunty Walburga is hard on him and Always has been but that little shit didn't even tell me he was upset and unhappy. He could have stayed here . We have tons of rooms."

"We don't exactly get along Trixy. " Rod said kissing the top of my head.

"You do."

"Ohh no we don't baby. "'He laughed. He hates my guts. And that was before I became a death eater. The little gryff hangs around a half breed and pompous blood traitor Potter. He's not exactly going to relish living under the roof of a Death Eater. Not even if that filthy Death Eater is married to his darling Trix. "

"You're not filthy Roddy. "
He laughed again. "Thank you baby."

"Well he could have told me. He didn't even tell me! I hate him. Stupid blood traitor."

"I don't think you could ever hate that stupid prat Trix. Even if he is a blood traitor. You two were too close. Those bonds don't break easily. But , if you can pretend to hate him it would be best. Dark Lord and all"

"Pfft I don't care what that-"

His hand came over my mouth like it had a few weeks prior at his parents New Years party. "Bellatrix Lestrange you are not to speak ill of The Dark Lord"

I grunted in anger at his hand on my face.

"No. Not til you calm down"

I licked his hand .

"Not going to work Belle. Im not taking my hand off of your mouth until you calm down"

I rolled my eyes and leaned limply back against him trying to seem calm.

"Bellatrix . I wasn't kidding he's dangerous."

I pulled his hand off my mouth he taken by surprise due to my fake calmness.

"You think I don't know that? He keeps running off with me and trapping me . In any case I'm not worried about him. He wants me to join up too badly. "

"What ? What do you mean"

"Shh. It doesn't matter . I was in the middle of something. " I sighed and laid on his shoulder again and placed his hand on my head so he'd stroke my hair again.

"Siri was like a brother and he couldn't even tell me. I had to find out from Regulus- he hadn't even told his own brother. Wrecked the poor kid seeing his brother leave him. Asshole. Selfish arse is what he is. He wasn't like that until he went to Hogwarts. Those damn Gryffindors corrupted my cousin. I hate them. The lot of them."

"You and Sirius both were always assholes Trixy" Rodolphus laughed. I shoved him hard. "Not helping"

"Okay . Damn those Gryffs!" He said shaking his fist in faux outrage.

"Thank you " I whispered

"I do hate Gryffs too baby. Pompous, arrogant and fool hardy."

"Stupid Sirius " I said wiping my eyes.

"Now now. No crying over blood traitors darling "

"And Andie. She came here hours before she ran. I didn't even know she was seeing anyone! And she comes here sits right here and talks for a couple hours she doesn't say a word about anything. And ! And when we were sat planning the wedding I was talking about how they were next . And they exchanged this look between them. And I knew. I knew something was up. Im so pissed! He wasn't even close to Andie and he tells her?! And she tells him! And no one. No one tells me. " I grabbed the brandy out of Rodolphus' hand and threw it against the wall.

"Yeah. I was, I was done babe. " he sighed.

"Im just tired of everyone leaving. " I sulked.

"Not everyone has left you . Just two"

I glared at him. It was three. Lucius too. And probably a fair portion of my rage was due to him.

He hadn't left me exactly but he was betrothed to Narcissa and I knew it was a matter of time. Not because he had any care for her but he was too damned worried about his fathers approval to break the betrothal that he had arranged. He couldn't even show any care for me at the betrothal he was so scared of his father . Just let me nearly black out and be dragged away by my apparently Blood Traitor sister.

And we had spent no time together since. He sent an owl to me once. Right after the Christmas party. I ignored it. I was too hurt and his note said too little. He didn't send anything again. Typical. He always did walk away when things get difficult. A girl wants to be pursued. To know she's worth it. And now he was back at Hogwarts. Effectively he left me too.

"You still have Narcissa" Rodolphus' unhelpful words cut through my thoughts.

"Oh lucky me." I rolled my eyes.
He laughed. Narcissa and I had never gotten on well so he didn't have to know that the reason I completely loathed her now was due to the betrothal to the man I loved.

Well the one I loved most.

Id exhausted myself with worry and anger and quieted down. Rodolphus picked me up and turned me around so I was facing him straddled across his lap. He ran his hands through my hair on either side of my head.

"Tu m'as, Belle. Toujours"

"I know I have you Roddy. " I smiled and leaned in and kissed him. I loved when he was so sweet to me but at the same time hated it. I didn't deserve that. I didn't deserve him because I didn't love him like he loved me. I could . I could if it wasn't for Malfoy and that made me even angrier at Lucius.

"I want to be enough for you Belle. "

"You are Rodolphus."

And in that moment he was .

He kissed me deeply and wrapped his arms around me lovingly. He wanted to desperately to be everything to me - something he could never be.