The Madness of Bellatrix Lestrange

Beige

Beige

The colour of the parchment tied to the furiously pecking owl at my window .

I opened it and let the pest in. It had my name on the outside, but nothing else, no seal- I expected the Black or Lestrange markings, one of our parents informing of us of the next Sacred Twenty Eight torture fest they call "parties" or "balls".  Rodolphus and I being of the two wealthiest families and quite the dashing couple , (if they only knew how fucked up  our dynamic was thanks to me and my divided heart) were basically the Prince and Princess of Pure bloodedness.

I opened it before the handwriting registered in my mind.

Bella,

I'm sorry .

~ Luce

I drop the letter to the floor. I follow it hitting my knees to the ground.

We hadn't spoken. Not since he had been betrothed to Narcissa. I can't even call her my sister anymore. Not since Andie alone helped get me out of the room as I had a near breakdown, nearly blacking out and he stood stock still emotionless staring as we left.

Not since I realised pleasing his father would come before anything - including me.

Technically we hadn't spoken since we had come out of my childhood bedroom upstairs having had each other moments before the contracts were signed between the two families for him to be married to Narcissa.

Ironic.

We had seen each other a few weeks later at my parents Christmas party but Id purposely not talked to him and clung instead to my handsome husband.

He'd only sent one note before returning to Hogwarts after Christmas break, a note I ignored . I wanted him to pursue me more. He hadn't. He'd merely left, stupid boy. And now . Now due to all that I hated him.

But I loved him.

My shaking ️fingers picked the   Paper up from where it had dropped from my surprised hands.

Two words.

I'm sorry.

I melted but flushed with anger simultaneously.

Two words? After all this time he thought that would be enough? I crumpled it and threw it across the room in a huff .

I sulked for a moment on the floor my mind vacillating between butterflies at even the slight communication with him to rage at his brevity and myself for feeling those cursed stomach butterflies in the first place.

Without him here I was focused on Rod. Falling for him by the day. Loving him.

Without him here I was empty, unfulfilled, fooling myself.

Living two lives - always,
Being of two minds- always.

A dual existence. No wonder I went mad.

I picked myself up off the floor and walked over to pick up the thrown paper and walked to the study to write a reply .

Dearest Lucius,
Two words? The hell you are !

Signed,
Madamè Lestrange

It was mid April and we began exchanging letters back and forth until he would arrive home in June. As always I punished him for the upset he caused me.

Madamè Lestrange,

Pardon me for being so informal last correspondence. Forgive me for my impropriety. However, forgiveness seems to be something you have in short supply so I shan't expect any for this infraction either. I am however , deeply sorry for this and everything else no matter what you may say. The hell I am.