The end where I begin

C h a p t e r 44

Danny's POV

'What's up Dan?' Glen asked as he came into my hotel room. I had texted him after texting with Lauren asking him to come to my room to talk.

'It's Lauren.'

'What's wrong? Did something happen?' Glen asked as he got worried. I knew he had contact with Lauren we were gone but these past days he hadn't heard anything from her, neither had Mark. Well he barely heard from her other than some tweets and DMs a few times and when we were home they talked when we were together.

'It's no secret it's not going that well for us at the moment...I think I've really messed it up Glen.' I said sighing as I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand.

'What have ye done then Dan?'

'Ye know I want a family and she doesn't at the moment. And because of that I've been pulling away to think about what I want, if I wanna end it or not. And now I just don't know...I thought that time away from it all would help me but now it's worse.'

'How so?'

'It makes her unhappy and I don't want that. She called earlier today to talk but I just blew her off and she got upset. She hung up and probably turned off her phone. I texted her sorry and said I wanted her to call. Then she said I should call her tomorrow.'

'If she's unhappy as you say you guys need to fix it. I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately either Dan. After Rina and the kids came to see Mark during a day off you've been distant.'

'Yeah I have. I needed that. I needed to think for a while. I'm still not sure of what I'm gonna do.'

'I know Dan. Just call her tomorrow and talk to her. Explain everything to her.'

'I know I have to. I just don't know what to say. I can't just say; hey I've possibly changed my mind, I don't know if I love you enough to stay with you right now but at least we can still be together until I know and in the meantime I'll be an asshole to you...'

'No, you most definitely can't say that. Even though it's kinda true.'

'She doesn't deserve to be treated like that. She broke up with her boyfriend to be with me because I convinced her we could make it even though we didn't want the same, but now that's what's tearing us apart. And it all happened so sudden. All this time before seeing kids around me really didn't bother me. Then one day it all snapped. I've seen my nieces and Marks kids so many times before, but it hasn't made an impact at all, until now. And now I don't think we can make it.' I said as tears formed in my eyes. I had no idea what to do at all. All those weeks thinking about this hasn't helped at all. It honestly confused me more and made it worse each day. The more I thought about it, the more I pulled away and the more I hurt Lauren.

'I'm sorry Dan, this is really tough...And it all happened so sudden.'

'It did. It was in that moment I knew what I wanted and I've been thinking of that ever since. I don't even know why it happened now either, so suddenly.'

'It could be because you just now realised how much you really love Lauren and want it all with her and you're ready to take that step?'

'It might me. At least it makes a lot of sense. I need to fix this Glen.' I said looking down at the ground.

'Yeah ye need to. Talk to her.'

'I'll call her after sound check tomorrow.'

'Sounds good Dan. You okay for now?' Glen asked patting me on my shoulder. I nodded at him and he left my room leaving me alone. I checked my phone one last time before going to bed.