The end where I begin

C h a p t e r 56

Danny's POV

I was now finally back in my apartment in Dublin after finishing the UK and European part of our tour. We had the next few weeks off tour before we were leaving again to tour Asia and USA. The tour had been amazing so far. We had visited some new places and met a lot of new fans. The venues we played this tour were also bigger and sold out which was great. We had managed our goal to expand and spread our music further and to many more people. There were also more fans waiting outside the venues than before which was great too. We did recognize a lot of fans and there were some new as well. We spent about an hour after each gig now just to talk to our fans. They had many stories to tell us, definitely worth listening to as well. Some we had also asked to use as inspiration for our writing. Of course they agreed to it so we now had a couple of new ideas for new songs already that could be used for a new album. We had just finished an album and were currently on tour so making a new album now wasn't our plan at all, but at least we had some ideas for when that time came. Right now I was just happy to be home again to see my family. I always missed them loads while being on tour and coming home always felt good. Still today I had no plans. I just wanted to relax for a bit and also I was seeing my family for dinner the day after tomorrow. My sisters weren't home today and wouldn't be until tomorrow afternoon. I called my ma in the car on my way home from the airport to let her know that I've arrived in Dublin safely and that I would come to dinner the day after tomorrow. 

I placed my suitcase on my bed and opened it so I could start unpacking. It was a big job as the suitcase was packed after weeks of being away. I had a lot of laundry to do and also I had to do a bit of cleaning. Well it's safe to say any of that isn't really my thing but if I didn't do it then no one would so I kinda had to. I started taking the laundry out of the suitcase. The dark clothes I took in the washing machine straight away as it was the clothes I wore the most and it was also a much bigger amount of dark clothes that had to be washed. After finishing that I threw the rest of my clothes in a pile on the bathroom floor next to the washer so I could put them in later when the wash was done. 
Meanwhile I went to my living room. All I could see was a big mess. There were papers and empty tea cups on the tables and old newspapers on the chair. I took the cups into the dishwasher and threw away the old newspapers. The other pieces of papers were song suggestions and notes so I put them all into a folder and carried it to the music room, also used as a guest room at times. Soon after I heard my phone ringing in my living room. I rushed out to get it. I made it just in time and picked it up.

'Hey, back home?' Lauren asked as I placed the phone to my ear.

'Yeah I got back to my apartment a few hours ago, just been cleaning so far.' I answered as she started laughing on the other end.

'What's so funny?' I asked chuckling. Well I guess I should know the answer to that.

'Just the fact that you're cleaning as the first thing you do when you come home, and that no one even told you to do it.'

'I know. I must be sick or something.' I joked earning a laugh from her again. God how I missed hearing her laugh like that.

'Well I hope not cause I was just about to ask if you had any more plans for the rest of the day other than cleaning.'

'Nope, not that I know of.'

'Then that's settled. I'm coming over in 20, or make it 30.' She said. I was about to ask her what she had in mind but I didn't get the chance to as she had already hung up the phone. Well I guess I got a visitor here in about 30 minutes. Lauren and I were friends now and talked to each other when we had the time. It was hard now that I was on tour and she had school, but we managed much better than the last time as we knew the consequences of it. While I was on tour she had called me and told me she did want to try to make us work again, when she was able to trust me again. In the meantime I agreed to stay friends with her so it was easier to build up that trust again, and I got to be close to her as well. To be honest I didn't really know how we could build up that trust again if we decided not to be friends in the meantime. We did call and text sometimes a week to stay in touch and it worked well. Tonight would be the first time we would hang out again since I left before Christmas. It had been about 4 months since that now. So far our chemistry together hadn't changed at all in my opinion. We could still talk seriously and mess around as before. It was almost like before just now we were just friends. While waiting for Lauren to arrive I quickly went to the bathroom to take a shower. I got in and got out pretty fast. I looked at the clock and realised I only had a few more minutes more likely. I had spent way too much thinking after the phone call so I completely forgot the time.

As I was about to take a towel that was around my hips there was a sound of knocking on my door. Shit. She was here already. I took a new towel and dried my hair pretty quick as the sound of knocking got more desperate. Without thinking I ran to the front door and opened it.

'Uhm, this wasn't really what I meant by saying I'm coming over.' Laurs chuckled as she saw me standing there in only a towel.

'Laurs, I promise it's nothing like that at all, god no...I just lost track of time and I just got out of the shower and didn't have time to get dressed.' I defended myself. She chuckled and shook her head lightly.

'Don't worry Dan, I know. I'm only joking. Besides, it's nothing I haven't seen before.' She said smirking as she walked past me into the apartment.

'Uhm yeah...' I mumbled as I rubbed the back of my neck not knowing what to say if I even should say anything.

'Sorry if that made you uncomfortable, I wasn't really thinking.' She quickly said as she had taken off both her coat and shoes.

'No it's fine, I just wasn't expecting that so I guess we both experienced something completely unexpected already.' I said leading her into the living room. She nodded and agreed before sitting down on a chair in the kitchen.

'Well I'm just gonna go and get dressed if you don't mind. So just make yerself at home and I'll be right back.' 

She nodded and told me to hurry up. I did as she said and walked into my bedroom trying to find some clothes to wear. No surprise I went for all black this time. I put on a pair of black jeans and a black button up sweater. I didn't bother to put on my contact lenses so I just wore my glasses. My hair had dried up as well so I took some gel in my hands and styled it into my trademark quiff before going out to the living room where Lauren was still sitting on the kitchen chair.

'Looking good now, as usual.' She beamed as she turned to look at me.

'Thanks, you don't look too bad either actually.' I smirked back at her. As soon as the words left my mouth I knew the word 'actually' might have been a bad choice of words. I hoped she wouldn't notice it and just let it go, but knowing Laurs she wouldn't do that.

'Oh so you're saying I normally don't look good then.' She challenged. 

'Shit sorry, you know I don't mean that, you always look good.'

'Dan, I was just joking again.'

'I know...You're just making me a bit nervous to be honest.'

'Wow, so first I'm actually looking good and now I make you nervous. Damn you say the nicest things.' She joked again. Instantly I realised what I had said and bent my head down in shame.

'I'm so sorry Laurs, I don't mean it like that...I just...'

'I know Dan. Come here.' She said pulling me in for a hug wrapping both of her arms around my waist. I rested my cheek on the top of her head holding my arms around her. It felt good to be like this again even though I knew it was about to end. She slowly pulled away and smiled at me again. I gave her a smile back and we had pulled away completely.

'Well I don't know about you, but I need some food.' She said.

'Well I'm dying to eat as well, we could order something or just go out? What do you think?' I asked her. I guess going out would be kinda risky so staying in would definitely be the safest choice.

'Going out sounds great, and honestly I don't really give a shit what people are gonna say if they would have seen us out together, but I'm actually craving a stay in movie night like we used to. If that sounds okay to you of course.'

'That sounds perfect. Just like the good ol' days.' I said pulling out my phone. She chuckled at me and went to the kitchen cabinets and took a glass of water.

'So what do you feel like eating, my treat anyways.' I said to her.

'First of all, you don't have to do that. Second of all, just order whatever you like. You know I find something to eat anyways.'

'Well that's true. Does pizza sound okay to you?'

'Yup, go for it. While you're ordering I'm gonna pick a movie.'

'My mac is in my bedroom if you wanna find something on Netflix, the password is still the same.' I said as I dialed the number to Dominos. I ordered a large pizza and something to drink. I ordered Lauren's favourite pizza this time knowing she would appreciate that as the other times we did this I always got it wrong. As I had finished the call and confirmed it I went up to the TV area where I found her with the laptop in front of her as she scrolled through the pages trying to find a movie.

'Did you find anything?' I asked sitting down next to her. She shook her head and continued looking. We found some alternatives in the end not really sure which we should watch. In the end we decided to watch The Imitation Game. Neither of us had seen that one before and it looked good too. It was about a man who joined a cryptography team during World War II. We both loved these kinds of history movies so I was looking forward to this.

The pizza man arrived and Lauren instantly got up from the couch about to go get the door. I grabbed her arm to hold her back as I stood up from the couch as well.

'Dan what are you doing?!' She said as she almost fell on the couch. If it wasn't for the fact that I held her she would have fallen.

'I'm getting the pizza, yer staying here. Don't move.' I ordered her as I hurried towards the stairs.

'Demanding much?' She laughed.

'Only when it comes to you.' I shouted back as I walked down the stairs.

'Well you've always been bossy when it comes to me anyways.'

'Nice one!' I laughed back at her.

'I didn't mean it like that Dan!' She said quickly as I heard footsteps coming after me down the stairs. Suddenly I felt a pair of arms wrapping around me as I continued walking.

'I know you didn't, only joking.' I smirked back. She let go of me as she started chuckling as well. I went to the hallway and opened the door.

'Here's yer pizza sir.' The pizza guy said handing it to me. While I was busy accepting the pizza Lauren reached out her hand and gave the guy some money. I turned my head and glared at her whilst she was looking back at me with an amused grin. I sighed and walked away in defeat. She closed the door after the pizza guy had left. She followed me upstairs to the TV and we both sat down in the couch as we hit play on the movie as well.

'Well I decided to be nice when ordering so I got yer favorite.' I said opening the box.

'Ah perfect! This is why I love you!' She blurted out. I turned my head to look at her with a surprised look as she also noticed what she had said. Her head turned slowly and met my eyes.

'Sorry, I know how you feel. I wasn't thinking again.'

'I can handle it Laurs, it's fine.'

'No it's not. It's not fair for you.'

'Why, may I ask? We agreed to be friends and also we both know we love each other and the fact that we can't be together right now, not until you can trust me again.'

'I know that Dan, but I feel so bad. I can't stand this, this space between us, but I can't let you back in either.'

'I get it Laurs, you don't need to explain it. We agreed to let it be this way, now let's just forget about it and eat okay?' I said pulling her in for a hug. She returned the hug and pulled away with tears in her eyes. I looked sadly at her before wiping the tears that were now running down her cheeks. She smiled at me before we both turned away to eat and watch the movie again. We sat on the couch next to each other like this for the entire movie. The pizza was long gone, and I was starting to fade as well. My eyes got heavier and heavier towards the end of the movie. Lauren didn't look tired at all, but I was extremely exhausted by now. Well I had been traveling for the past weeks with lack of sleep basically each night so I had an excuse to fall asleep. After trying to keep my eyes open I gave up and gave in and fell asleep missing the end of the movie.

Lauren's POV

Next to me on the couch I suddenly heard some light snoring and turned my head to see that Danny had fallen asleep. He was probably exhausted by now and I had made him sit up to watch a movie while he should be sleeping, poor guy. I stopped the movie and shut the TV off. The pizza box was empty so I took it downstairs to his kitchen with empty glasses as well. It was nearly 10:30pm by now and I figured I should let Danny sleep so I decided that I should probably go. I walked upstairs where he was sleeping on the couch and gently nudged his shoulder. His eyes shot open and he sat up looking puzzled at me.

'What time is it?' He asked sleepily with a raspy voice. Damn that voice and the effect that it had on me. I shook it off and looked at the time again.

'It's nearly 10:30 now. You're tired so I'm gonna go so you can get some sleep.' I said smiling at him. He nodded and stood up from the couch. We walked over to the stairs and he turned the lights off.

'So do you have any plans tomorrow?' He asked as I was putting on my coat and jacket again.

'Uhm no I don't.' I answered.

'You up for a lunch or something, maybe a walk around Dublin?'

'Yeah that sounds good, but I got school, so maybe around 4:30 we could meet up?' I asked.

'Great, I'll see you again tomorrow.' He said pulling me in for a hug. Without a doubt I wrapped my arms tightly around his slim waist. My head rested safely on his shoulder, just like the good ol' days. I could sense he was about to let go so I squeezed him even tighter so he wouldn't. To be honest I never wanted to let him go. Still I gave in and removed my arms and pulled away instantly wanting him to hold me again. I knew I shouldn't because that would make it even harder.

'So bye then, see you tomorrow.' I said opening his door. He said bye as well and I left his apartment returning home again. I was already looking forward to seeing him again even though I had just left his place. The butterflies in my stomach were still there and they grew bigger and bigger of the thought that I would see him again tomorrow. To me this was the proof that I still loved him very much. There was no way I was letting this love go away, even though how hard I have to work to be able to trust him. I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me like he did again, not after what he told me, but I still don't completely trust that to be honest. After all, he could be anywhere with anyone just now as soon as I left his place. Well he probably wasn't, but I couldn't trust that so these things kept popping into my head. It was the same when he was on tour as well. Always I wondered where he was and with who and what happened. It wasn't healthy living like that. When we were together this wasn't even an issue, I didn't even think like that. I knew he was faithful and that he wouldn't do anything like that, I trusted him. 

Next chapter: Lauren and Danny spend their afternoon together.