Exit Wounds- A Niall Horan Fan-Fiction

Chapter 16

Niall’s POV:

                I softly groaned as I woke up from the same reoccurring nightmare that I have every single time I drink. I’m immune to its horrors so it doesn’t scare me as bad anymore. Memories from last night flashed back to me in bits and pieces and I went over the things that I remembered.

                I had come home from the bar after crashing my car slightly into a fire hydrant down the street. Some damage was done to the car and my ribcage but I didn’t care. When I saw Nani there only one thing rang through my mind:

I had to make her realize I was a monster before she got too attached.

                So I pretended to be even more wasted then I was. I grabbed her and despite her screaming, I laughed. I took her to the bedroom and I threw her on the bed and I began grinding heavily into her as she screamed and begged for me to stop.

                 I took her shirt and I ripped it off of her exposing a lot of her bare skin. It took all of my restraint to keep from thinking about how she would never be mine…. Be truly mine anyways. She wanted someone who could steal her heart not someone who kidnaps her for a job. I hated myself because I knew I had feelings for her. Feelings I don’t even know how to describe, which only made me hate myself more.

                I don’t know how far I was willing to go last night but apparently I had gone far enough. When I stood up she kneed me in the crotch as hard as she could. I fell to the ground, doubling over on my knees in pain.  Damn, she was stronger than she looks. She ran into the bathroom and that’s when I lost it. I began screaming and ranting about myself, breaking everything I could in frustration.

                From there, my memories get blurry and all I remember is crashing near the bathroom door and wishing small fantasies that I knew would never happen as I blacked out, seeping into my never ending nightmare of a memory from when I was younger.

                Now, as I awoke I sat up and looked around, groaning from the immense pounding in my head. My vision was blurred for a moment but then came back into focus. Nani stirred in the bed and then sat up and rubbed her eyes. She glanced over at me with a blank expression and suddenly nauseas washed over me.

                I ran to the bathroom and began to puke badly. I heaved loudly into the toilet and closed my eyes tightly as it felt like someone repeatedly punching my intestines. Suddenly a hand lightly rested on my shoulder causing me to jump and gasp. I turned around and looked up and saw none other than Nani, standing there with a determined expression on her face.

                "Let’s just pretend last night didn’t happen okay?” She said with a soft yet firm voice. I looked at her with obvious confusion written on my face which I didn’t bother to hide.

                “Why are you being so kind to me after I tried to rape you last night? I mean, what makes you think I won’t do it again?” I asked with a hoarse morning voice. I looked up into her eyes and saw her tense up. For a moment I thought that she hadn’t thought of that but then she took a deep breath and relaxed.

                “I trust you and I am not afraid of you Niall.” She said calmly as her hand gently rubbed my shoulder. I didn’t say anything and I reached over and flushed the toilet, no longer feeling the need to puke. I didn’t look at her; I just stared at the ground like I was in a trance.

                She bent down and rubbed my back gently and I shook slightly from having nothing in my stomach for the past 3 days except alcohol. She was the person who I don’t think I would ever understand, but yet the same person who I yearned to know everything about. I would never win in this situation and I remembered a familiar saying about winning and losing that Harry’s dad told me:

If you get yourself into a fight and you know you can’t win then you might as well let them beat you because you probably deserved it. Pain is just weakness leaving the body.

                I glanced up at the shower head and then back at Nani who was looking at me curiously.  I just simply stood up and lifted her up. Her eyes went wide and she gasped.

                “Niall w-what are you doing?” She said struggling to get out of my arms. So much for not being scared of me I guess. I didn’t answer and I walked over to the bed and set her down before walking to my drawer and taking everything out of my pockets and getting some clothes.

“I’m taking a shower.” I said quietly.