Exit Wounds- A Niall Horan Fan-Fiction

Chapter 36

Nani’s POV:

                It was the first time he had ever complimented me and the fact that it was about my voice, the thing so many people hated on in the past, meant so much to me. I felt like crying but I resisted the urge and simply leaned up and kissed his forehead gently. He held me back in his arms so we were facing each other as he looked into my eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something else but he never did.

                I stroked a lock of his blonde hair gently out of his eyes and looked into them once again. They were blue and they could put anyone into a trance. I bit my lip softly as he leaned in, his lips slowly making contact with mine once again. He kissed me gently and slowly but his kiss was filled with a sense of passion.

                He slowly pulled away just enough to mumble on my lips carefully. “Tell me something about yourself…that no one else knows about you.” He whispered as he opened his eyes and looked into mine.

                I bit my lip and chewed on it softly as I thought about what to tell him. I didn’t know how he would react to even knowing this about me but then again he might not care about it. After all what I did was in the past and he is still doing it right now so he isn’t one to judge.

                I finally took a deep breath, gaining the courage to tell him. He would be the first person to ever know and for some reason that gave me a sense of relief because he would be the only one too. “I-I used to self-harm… but I don’t anymore!” I said the last part quickly.

                His muscles tensed up and I instantly felt dread wash over me as his hollow emotionless stare came back onto his face. He slowly sat up, never moving his eyes away from me. “Sit up.” He said firmly.

                Fear coursed through me as I was scared what he might do to me. Was he angry? Was he upset in any way? Or has the sweet innocence in Niall completely vanished. By the look on his face, I was expecting the worst. I slowly sat up and looked at him as he stood up and walked to my side of the bed and stared at me.

                “Why.” He asked but it sounded more like a statement. His eyes drilled into mine and I forced myself to look away as tears glazed my eyes. He was definitely upset with me.

                “Well,” my voice cracked and I decided to close my eyes. “When I first started my singing career people kept hating on me and saying I was terrible… They called me fat, ugly, whore…. I just couldn’t take it anymore. My family never supported me being a singer so they weren’t any help either.” I said quietly.

                “Where did you cut yourself?” He asked with a firm voice as his jaw clenched. Maybe he really was angry at me.

                “M-My wrists and my thighs….” I said softly as a tear rolled down my cheek. I played with my fingers nervously, scared at what he was going to do to me. I was definitely not prepared for what he said next.

                “Take off your clothes.” He said and I looked at him with wide eyes filled with disbelief. He was going to rape me after I had just told him that?! “Now Nani.” He said firmly as I hesitated.

                I closed my eyes and stood up. I would rather take off my clothes willingly then have him rip them off and then have nothing to wear later. I slowly slid down my jeans and then I slid off my shirt with a whimper. He watched me carefully but no emotion entered his eyes.

                I started to unbuckle my bra but I felt a firm hand grab mine gently to stop me, “That’s enough.” He said and I looked at him confused through my tears. Finally I saw sadness enter his eyes as he looked at me.

                “Now sit on the edge of the bed for me.” He said calmly. Curiosity caused me to obey as I looked at him confused. He slowly got on his knees in front of me and took my arm as he looked into my eyes. I no longer cried, I simply watched in awe at his next moves.

                He gently kissed one of my scars on my left arm. “You.” He said as he planted another soft wet kiss on another scar. “Are.” He said moving once again to another scar. “Beautiful.” He said and he continued to kiss up my arms, not missing a single scar.

                Then he moved to my second arm and placed a kiss on the first scar. “You.” He said calmly as he closed his eyes. “Are.” He said as he left a soft kiss on a large scar. “Perfect.” He said breathlessly and finished kissing all up my arm.

                He moved to my thighs. There were only a few there but he kissed each one gently, careful not to make me uncomfortable. He was no longer emotionless. He was loving, gentle, and caring. He stayed on his knees and looked at me with sadness in his eyes.

                “Stop hiding them underneath your clothes. Show your scars Nani, it’s who you are. He said with a soft quiet voice and looked up at me. For once in my life, I didn’t feel self-conscious. I didn’t feel the need to try and cover up all of my scars anymore. Instead, tears of happiness swarmed my eyes and I got down on my knees so I was the same level as Niall and I hugged him tightly.

                He held me close to him as now both of out chests, mine only mostly bare, were pressed against each other and I never wanted to leave his arms again for anything.

                Luckily for me, he showed no sign of wanting to let go either.