Exit Wounds- A Niall Horan Fan-Fiction

Chapter 20

Nani’s POV:

                I can’t even begin to fathom how much pain Niall has suffered in that time. And I never knew he tried to commit suicide! My fingers shook slightly now and a tear rolled down my cheeks as I wasn’t able to hide the tears any longer. I would have never expected the man who kidnapped me, almost molested me, and who hurt me to be so… pitiful. Unable to keep my eyes away from it I stared back at the small journal and turned the page.

Page 7: Dear Journal,

                I ran away just liked I promised. I ran and took to the streets where I stole to keep myself alive and fought to earn my place. One day I had gotten myself into a fight I knew I couldn’t handle but I tried my hardest to fight anyway. I failed, and when they finished beating me I was half dead and blacking out quickly. The last thing I remembered was a tall man walking towards me with another boy around my age behind him. But my world spun into darkness before I could protest.

                When I woke up it was a week later where I was nursed back to health. The boy my age was named Harry and his father took me in as his own. They were a part of a gang though and they said I had to be the same as them otherwise it was too risky to let me go. I didn’t protest because I had grown to like Harry even though I knew it wasn’t smart to get close to him.

                They had asked me if I knew how to shoot a gun and I told them I didn’t know how to do anything because I lost my memory in a car crash. The dad took this into consideration and he promised he would teach me everything he taught harry how to do in order to survive this cruel world.

                So within the next year he taught me how to shoot a gun, how to properly kidnap someone and how to do anything I wanted and get away with it without a trace. I was taught how to fight the right way and he always told me “Never get into a fight you know you can’t lose. And if you do then you might as well just let them beat you because you probably deserved it. Pain is just weakness leaving the body.”

                I was taught that revenge was always the best answer no matter what other say. One day as I re-read over my past journal entries I realized something; why not take revenge out on myself too? I mean I deserved it. From what I read in my journal it was my fault my family was dead and I was just like the monsters on television that the world so desperately wanted to be rid of.

                So I began to self-harm myself. At first it was just a simple cut here and there but then I began to get more creative despite the pain I knew I was causing to myself. After all, pain is just a weakness leaving the body. All of the scars on my body made me who I was. I kill people, kidnap others, and beat up most. I drink, I cut, I starve myself sometimes, I do anything I want and no one ever tells me to stop but then again even if they did I probably wouldn’t listen.

                Harry’s father died in an ambush about 6 months ago when the rival gangs attacked us unexpectedly and all at once. Me and harry took out most of the gangs single handedly, letting each one suffer along the way. When Harry found his fathers body he didn’t cry or lash out, he simply just made sure he had no pulse and then he took his father’s place in the gang.

                After that night I decided to leave the gang to become a hitman. When people need a killing or kidnapping then they call me and for the right price, I can get the job done perfectly. It paid nicely for the most part but there is always something missing. I talk to Harry still and he makes sure that I do the job right because he plans to keep me as an ally and so I am always ready if he needs me.

                In all honest, Harry and I both know that if it ever came down to it, I would win in a fight between the two of us; guns or fists whichever. My life has been based off of pure hatred of the world and self-loathing of myself. That’s all I know and all I care about. His life wasn’t always bad but this journal is for my story, not his.

-End of page 7-

                So that’s who is pulling the strings?