Crave- Niam BDSM

Chapter 42

When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong

Two weeks.

Two weeks Liam hadn't heard from Niall. Two weeks of Liam being worried sick, Two weeks of Liam losing his mind. Two weeks of Liam wondering where he has gone wrong. Two weeks of Liam trying to get Niall to talk to him. Two weeks of Niall ignoring Liam.

Those two weeks had been the worst weeks of Niall's life, he may have said that a lot of times in his life but he was pretty certain that those two weeks were the worst of his life. He had spent them crying his heart out and trying to figure out what he did in life to deserve such misery. His mother tried her best to comfort him not wanting to see her son upset but nothing she did seemed to be working. Niall's heartache only seemed to grow worst each day.

'It's not about finding someone who won't fight with you or make you sad, or mad. It's about finding the person who will still be standing there wiping the tears away, holding you in their arms after a fight. The one who will never leave. No matter how hard things can get' the words his mother had told him repeated themselves each day inside his head and it makes him sad to think that Liam is not that person. Sure they fight and Liam makes him sad and mad but Liam doesn't wipe away his tears nor is he there to hold Niall in his arms. Liam might not leave Niall but He isn't there for Niall the way Niall wants him to be. You could say he was the one that was leaving but who could blame him? It seemed as though fate just didn't want him with Liam.  

His entire being hurts. He's given every single piece of himself to Liam and in return he has only gotten hurt. Maybe he deserves this for being so damn naïve and foolish enough to think he can change a man whose heart is made out of stones. A man whose heart can never belong to him, no matter how much he wished it did.

As heartbroken he is, he has come to a realisation. No matter how in love with Liam he is, he knows his worth. He knows he deserves better, can't continue to be treated like this, and he can't waste his love on a man who doesn't love him back, one that can never love him. There's only so many times you can allow someone to let you down before you no longer tolerate being disappointed. When things go wrong between two people. Something has to give. You get to the point where you get tired of being the only one trying to fix things, it's not giving up, its realising you've had enough. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts.

Niall is at that point.

Liam might have gone insane during those two weeks. He never thought in his entire lifespan he could miss someone as much as he missed Niall, being physically away from him made his heart tug and hurt more than it has in his twenty two years on earth. He felt so lost without Niall. He never full realised how much of an impact Niall had made on him. He regrets so many things in life but the way he has treated Niall in the past few months is probably his biggest regret in life. He has done nothing but push away the one man who truly loves me, has ever loved him. After everything he has put Niall through, the blonde Irish man has still continued to love him. Liam knows that this was the last straw.  Niall has always had Liam's best interest at heart, given all the advice he gave, all the things he said, and how he cared for him in his every way. Liam's problem is that he doesn't know how to love, how not to hurt Niall. He will admit to himself that at first he saw Niall as simply a sex object – someone to play with and then discard. But as time went by Niall began to mean so much more to him. He fell in love with him, fell so damn hard.

Niall had refused to answer Liam's text and calls so during the last week of those two weeks Liam couldn't stand it anymore and took the first flight to Ireland wanting to fix things between Niall and him before they got any worse. He spent the majority of those weeks trying to think of something to say, to explain himself, something to win Niall back. After finally finding the courage he found himself standing at the door step of Niall's childhood home.  His palm was sweating and he didn't think he had ever felt so damn nervous in his life.