A Pirate Tail

A Pirate Tail: Fairy Tail Parody

Once upon a time... You know what, that's so boring, why not twice upon a time? Or thrice? NO, it has to be once, of course it does. You know, why does everything have to be once? That's so unfair, and prejudiced! They never let twice or thrice take the stage! And what about upon? Shouldn't it be spelled apon? It's so stupid!!!! 

Shhhhh Levy stick to the script!

Stick to the script Gajeel says, doesn't he know how stupid the script is, I say. 

Levy, I promise, after this I'll buy you the entire Kane Chronicles series and a milkshake.

There lived a beautiful young maiden who's beauty was to outshine all other's. 

"Aye sir."

And she had a generous and spoiling, kind father.

"Aye sir!"

But one day, the father decided to marry for the good of his prized daughter. 

"Aye sir?"

But unfortunely, the father died, leaving the young girl to her stepmother and stepsisters.

"A-aye s-sir..." *weeping noises*

And for poor, poor Happy, the stepfamily was very jealous...

"Aye sir..." 

And that jealousy turned into unimaginable hatred.

"Aye sir this I'm out!"

Happy, you stick to the script too!

"Aye sir..."

The stepmother's name was Carla.

"Hmph, can't you do better, servant?"

The oldest stepsister's name was Lucy.

"Hi!"

And the youngest sister was named Wendy.

"N-nice t-to m-meet y-you."

Now poor Happy was cursed with the insatiable urge for fish.

"Fish!"

Which the stepfamily, (mostly the mom) made fun of. Eventually, they called our poor Cinderella... 

"Fishbreath, come here! I want some Earl Grey!"

Fishbreath hurriedly rushed to Carla, and exclaimed, "Aye sir!"

The stepmother glared at poor Happy. (Fishbreath, Happy, Cinderella, I don't know what his name is anymore.) "Didn't you hear me, peasant! I said I wanted some Earl Grey! Honestly, can't you do anything right? And stop calling me sir, I'm a ma'am."

Unfortunely for poor Cinderella, he had gotten the bad habit of saying "Aye sir!" because of his stepmother's commanding voice.

"Aye s-ma'am!" Happy rushed towards the kitchen, where he boiled the water in their only kettle. Rushing towards a cupboard, he fetched the tea bag and put it into a mug. Pouring the water in, he quickly grabbed the hot drink and rushed into the kitchen, only to run, trip, and spill it all over his stepmother.

"Stupid cat!" (Though that's a little funny because she's one too.)  Growled Carla, whose usual regal, white face was now red and twisted. "This is the last straw from you! I was considering letting you come to the ball, but now, there's no possible way!"

The ball the stepmother was talking about was the one Prince Dragoneel was holding to find his perfect bride. (A/N Note: Hey, you guys see that 'o' in Dragoneel? Ya? You do? Good job! IT WAS ITENTIONAL MOTHERF*CKERS I KNOW HOW TO SPELL.)