A Pirate Tail

The Determination to Walk Forward!

(Jellal's P.o.V.)

   Have you ever wondered, what gives you the will to do anything? To breathe, live, work, prosper, bond, love, and, sacrifice. To get up again and again to do whatever we believe in? For freedom, for money, for family, for food even. What pushes us forward, to take that one last step, and then another step, and then again, that one last final step. "One more." We keep telling ourselves, "One more and it's over." Honestly, it's quite spectacular how we humans have done what we've accomplished so far, continuously walking forward, that one last final step that never seems to end. A final, everlasting step. And then another one, and then another one, until we're almost running. The will to walk forward is different for each person, it seems. After all, whatever makes us, us, is our actions, our lives, our choices. It's our uniqueness is what makes us humans, each of us a fingerprint of our personality. So if the determination of each human is different, I sometimes wonder what each person's determination is. I already know what mine is....

"Hey, Blueberry Head!" I heard her voice, piercing my deep pondering. "You have your thinking face again, the one that makes you look like a pug falling asleep."

"I do not." I scowled. But I couldn't keep it for long as I laughed lightly along with my red-headed companion, who plopped herself beside on top of the green hill. 

"Achoo!" She sneezed as a wind blew by gently. "Uhhh, my eyes are itchy. I hate wild grass." She rubbed her red eyes. 

"I didn't know your were allergic." I asked, a little surprised. It was actually a little bit funny, such a tough women like her falling victim to such a trifle thing like allergies.

"Well, maybe it's because we never really got to go anywhere with actual live flora when we were younger." She pointed out.

"Really, because you sure were my sunflower back in the day."

"Oh stop!" She groaned and pushed me over playfully. At least I think playfully. I was sure I heard something pop.

She sneezed once again. "Ah, stupid allergies, these things are the worst." She parted her scarlet hair out of her face, and I suddenly realized she was a lot younger and smaller. I quickly looked at myself and realized it was the same with me. 

"Hey Erza, look! We're like 14!" I cried out. I sounded alarmed, but somehow I wasn't surprised at all. Quite at ease actually.

"Whatever." Erza stood up and brushed herself off, but somehow she was wearing a simple, but pretty summer white dress with a sun hat. "C'mon! We're going to be late." She laid down on the ground, and pulled me down with her. Then we rolled down the now golden hill, the green color somehow gone. We giggled and laughed, trying to reach down faster than the other. The hill itself was rather small, yet reaching the ground took five minutes, maybe even more. When we final stopped and stood up, we were at a town, with the sun setting behind it. It hurt to see directly ahead, and I covered my eyes, but I saw the outlines of several kids too.

"C'mon, let's go have some fun!" A little girl's voice rang out. "Lucy?" I called.

"I wanna go on a adventure, too!" A boy's voice spoke instead this time. "Natsu?" I asked even more confused.

"Meow, meow, we have to have cats too." Millianna's voice insisted. "No..." I gasped, my voice stuck in my throat.

"Ya, let's go, let's go!" Wally hurried. 

"Why is everybody so slow?" Sho impatiently snapped. 

I looked ahead at the final figure against the glaring sun that hadn't spoken yet. "It can't be..." My voice rasped. The sun was barely dipping into the night, yet all I could see was a broad smile from the figure. I ran forward with all my might, determined to reach him, and apologize, say sorry for everything, find some kind of redemption. He started saying something, but his voice was extremely slow and quiet, and I couldn't hear a thing. Everything started blurring away, until I just saw streaks rushing by as I ran to Simon. I was almost there, I was almost there. Just one more step. Just one last step. I kept rushing forward, but he seemed miles away. I was getting tired, my breath ragged. But I kept pushing myself, whatever I felt now was nothing compared what I had done to Simon. So close, so close! But he still remained a dark figure against the horizon. What was it that pushed me forward, even now? Even I know, though I wanted to deny it, I probably never reach him. What was this feeling that pushed through my very veins, never letting me stop running?! Suddenly, yet somehow gradually, the streaks that had gone rushing by turned dark, slips of thorn and blood mingling into the background. The determination to walk forward seems to be a dark path, something that I had learned very long ago. The ground turned hard, full of holes and bumps, and was littered with broken glass. I heard whisperings in the back, telling me to turn back or die. Telling me I was a monster, a murderer, a psychopath. To be honest, the voices weren't bad, I had a nifty trick that allowed to ignore words. But unfortunately, I couldn't block out everything else. Rocks were thrown at me and random bricks fell out of nowhere. Vines covered the path, and eventually long thorny stems entangled my feet. I  kept struggling to get free, to continue to on the path, but even more vines came and entangled me, wrapping my limbs and neck, until I couldn't even move. I hung there, lifted by the thorny ropes around my body. I twisted and turned, but I stopped when the pain was too much. I felt the shame of being punished like a criminal, and I lowered my head, unable to resist the weakness that crept into my arms. I noticed that I'd turned back into my age, except my clothes were covered in blood, ripped and gashed and shredded. I wondered for a minute what would happen if I just stayed like this, forever. It wouldn't mean much, right? I was a murderer, a killer. Who would miss me? Who would care? And in this way, wouldn't I be redeeming myself for my sins? I gave up, right then and now. Just being like this seemed perfect. I couldn't find any other solution without getting tired. What was that feeling earlier, when there was that energy bursting through my veins, some kind of wild motivation pushing me forward. What was that? Even I couldn't remember anymore, the earlier energy now just an echo of hollowness. I felt myself falling asleep, with black dots lining my vision. Just when I was going to succumb to my slumber, there was a light shining in the path. It was a soft light, like a atom-sized sun, warming my face and filling me with energy. The light disappeared, instead replaced with a certain red-headed beauty, glowing in her own way.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Erza demanded angrily. "I thought we were going to get strawberry cake and ice cream!" 

I looked at her and wondered if she couldn't see the predicament I was in, when I looked at the vines, except the vines weren't there anymore. I looked at arms, and the wounds on them had healed, and my clothes were completely fine.

"How is this-" I looked at Erza, who only blew some hair out of her face and grabbed my hand. She ran forward, and it felt like she was filling me with new energy, new determination, new feelings. She looked back at me as we were running and smiled. 

"Never forget!" She laughed. "Never forget the determination to walk forward!" And then she was gone. Disappeared like she was never there. I slowed to a stop, breathing heavily, and looked around to see where I was. I found, to my surprise, I was at the top of the hill I first had come from. Looking around, I saw Simon behind me.

Simon just nodded his head and smiled at me, like he already knew the words I wanted to say. He started to say something, but just before he could finish his sentence, I woke up.

Reeling from my experience, I gasped and shot right up, clutching my blanket hard. I took a couple of seconds to calm down, holding my head with my hands as I tried to recollect what happened. I remembered everything, down to the littlest detail, and I didn't realize I was crying until my hand felt drops pelt onto it. I remembered, the two words Simon had managed to speak to me.

"Never forget...."