The Beginning: Starting Anew (Gravity Falls Fanfic)

Chapter 42

Bill's POV

I never would have guessed that you could be disturbed and disgusted with yourself, because I never had been before.

But I was now.

Deeply.

"Wake up, wake up, Cipher." I told myself and shook my head. "Get out of this fantasy." I closed my eye tightly, trying to clear my head. I stood off the bed, snapping my fingers. A bucket of water appeared.

I had been in my room for over half an hour now, trying to knock some sense into my head. Transitioning into being human still had its toll on me.

I grabbed the bucket out of the air and dumped it on my head. I let out a shriek at the frigid temperature. It soaked through my suit and clung to my skin. I was freezing now. It reminded me of when I went into the ocean.

The water poured onto the ground off of my body and I shivered. I was freezing, but it helped shock me.

The door to my room opened up and I spun around, breathing heavily. I was shocked to see Shooting Star standing there.

I could have sworn I had locked the door.

"Bill, can you tell me what's going on. Dipper won't come out of his room. I heard screaming and stuff, and... I don't know..." She looked down. "What happened?" She suddenly noticed me soaked with water. "What the- why are you all wet."

I stood there, shaking. "Leave me alone. I'm-I'm not talking about it."

"Something happened! Did you and Dipper have a fight?!" She tried to step in, but I held my hand out so she'd stop.

"Can you bring me him? If you do...I'll explain later." My cheeks were flushed and I was shivering uncontrollably.

She first hesitated, a confused look crossing her face. I heard her thoughts saying, "shouldn't he give him some space after a fight?" but she didn't fight back. She nodded slowly and walked out of my room to get Pine Tree.

I began stripping off my clothes, not able to bear it any longer. I dropped my coat on the floor and undid my shirt, peeling off the drenched clothes garments. I unzipped my pants and flinched when my door reopened. Damn, that was fast, crap. I yanked the blanket off my bed and covered myself up. I had no idea why I suddenly became self conscious.

"Bill, you better make this quick. I don't want to talk to you right now." He growled and he raised up his head, his eyes dark. He blinked when he laid eyes on me. "What are you doing...?"

"I'm undressed...kind of." I explained and looked away. "I'm thinking of you." I growled, trying to prove I was a good friend.

If Pine Tree was impressed, he didn't show it. "Why do you need me here."

"I don't want us to be enemies..." I whispered, feeling ashamed that I was having to stoop so low.

Pine Tree glanced away confused. "Why do you want to be friends with me so bad? Me? Of all people."

I clenched my jaw, holding his gaze. "I don't know..." I wanted to look away, I wanted to think, because I wanted to know why. Why did I need him to be my friend? He wasn't Ford.

"Oh, thanks, that's a great explanation." He said sarcastically.

I narrowed my eye. "I seriously don't know."

"I bet you do." He sighed. "This is a waste of my time." Pine Tree turned around to walk away.

"No! Wait!" I dropped the blanket, racing up to him and slammed the door so he was pinned up against it.

Pine Tree blushed red and averted his eyes from me. "Bill, this isn't funny."

I growled low in my throat. "I'm not trying to be funny!"

"Well, your half naked and have me pinned up against a wall, Bill!" He screamed and started to squirm.

I slid my hand behind him, letting a spark of magic float to the door knob and it locked from the outside.

"Get your hands off of me!" He tried to shove me away, but I simply stepped back, holding up my pants.

"Sorry." I said hastily, anger tinging my voice. "Dipper, I'm not good at being human - in fact I suck at it - but you became my friend despite all of that. I don't have a lot of friends. In fact, I have none besides you."

A flash of sympathy showed in his eyes, but he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "This isn't a good friendship..."

"No-no... It is a good friendship!" I resisted the urge to grab him and make him listen. I could always forcibly hypnotize him to be friends with me, but that wasn't real friendship. I wanted real friendship. "Please, I'm begging you, isn't that enough?"

"What are you going to do to me if I don't?" He whispered.

I snatched my arm back, caught off guard. What are you going to do? "I didn't think about that..."

Pine Tree slouched over, a glum look on his face.

"We were supposed to hang out tonight after dinner." I breathed quietly.

"I don't think you're going to be here for even dinner." He mumbled.

He wants me to go. He hates me for humiliating him... I didn't know how to act in a real friendship - was I doing this right? "But..."

"Bill, you told me in my room you loved me." He grew angry and lifted up his head, making me shrink up. "Is that true?!"

"I-I was saying as in a friend!" I stammered and glanced away.

"Is it true?!" He repeated himself.

"I wasn't talking about you!" I cried. Maybe I was- NO! No I wasn't!

"Then about-" he snapped off. "You called me Ford, didn't you?"

I felt my face heat up. "You don't even know who he is so you have no right to talk about him!"

"Getting defensive are we?" Pine Tree muttered.

I stared to grow angry. "Stop it, Pine Tree!" I stamped my foot down and pulled at my pants. "You don't know what your saying!"

"Was this Ford guy your-"

"He was my first friend!" I exclaimed. "And then I lost him..." I closed my eyes. "I can't lose him again..." I whispered so he couldn't hear.

"Bill, you're...you're faking, right?" There was a heavy amount of doubt in his voice at that.

"Why would I fake this?" I felt shame drop on me. "I'm such a loser. Begging a human to be friends with me? Man, could I get anymore pathetic?"

Pine Tree stepped up towards me. Even though he was shorter than me, I felt like a small and helpless child. "You swear on your life?!"

I nodded, not wanting to open my eye.

I suddenly felt arms envelop around me and I snapped my eye open, seeing him hugging me tightly. There was this joy, a type of joy that makes you cry, that fluttered up through me. I hugged him back. "Are you going to stay my friend?" I whispered.

"Maybe..."

A friend, a real friend. Maybe I wasn't so bad after all if I could win Pine Tree over? I had a real friend for once...