The Beginning: Starting Anew (Gravity Falls Fanfic)

Chapter 55

Bill's POV

Ford hadn't run into me as I left the Pines' residence and Shooting Star was nowhere to be found. I was utterly alone. It was a strange feeling since I knew I couldn't go running into Pine Tree's arms when I was depressed or needed help with life. I was on my own until I managed to convince Arrow.

I told myself to be strong, but I had chosen to ignore my own words apparently.

Walking down the sidewalk of California, I happened to glance across the street and my eye followed a girl and boy happily walking down, holding each other's hands, smiling, laughing. Together. It just reminded me of how hard it was to be human and keep yourself up. I had been relying on Pine Tree a lot.

I unsteadily made my way over to a small alley way that ran down the side of two separate houses. I flopped down onto the gravel right at the edge of the sidewalk and hugged my knees. "What's happening...?" I managed to whisper and my bottom lip trembled. I felt less like a demon than I ever had. Only my recent actions were demonic.

I had forced myself to not cry in front of Pine Tree. But like I said, I was alone now.

So I let myself cry.

I bawled into my knees, hugging them tightly, my sobs drifting up the street. My whole body felt hot like a furnace and my face was bright red and wet with fresh tears. I didn't like crying, it was a petty human emotion. But I was human now. I was crying over Arrow and how she didn't remember me, I was crying over how I had betrayed Ford years ago, I cried over how I tried to disconnect Shooting Star's friendship with Pine Tree, and I cried over how I had destroyed Pine Tree, broke his heart, trust, and utterly betrayed him.

I was such a horrible person. How did I ever get those two to fall in love with me in the first place? I didn't deserve to be loved, but I was selfish and I wanted them. No.

I wanted her. Only Arrow.

My entire body was trembling as the sobs wracked through my body and the other half of me felt like screaming and setting the whole world on fire. Is this how all humans felt? Was I just not used to emotions so they still had their toll on me?

"D-Dammit Pine Tree!" I screamed.

"Hey, Mister?"

My head shot up, eye wide and tear-filled. In front of me stood a little girl, about the age of seven. She had long, dark, blonde, curly hair and light blue eyes, her body was pale. She only wore a light lavender shirt with a breast pocket that had a small flower stitched into it. She also wore a dark purple skirt and black tap shoes. She was holding a large rainbow lollipop in one hand, that hand had a black glove wrapped on it.

My blue gaze seared through her. I didn't respond to the young girl.

"Are you ok?" She asked, licking her lollipop.

I swallowed. "I'm fine, little mortal."

The girl tilted her head. "You sure? You were crying and screaming about trees..."

I sniffed, hugging my knees tighter. I thought I was alone. "Look, child, leave me alone."

"What happened?" She wasn't giving up.

I sighed heavily, studying the girl. "I....I broke up with my boyfriend." It felt strange the say that aloud.

The girl tapped her chin with her ungloved hand. "Hmm... My brother, Frederick, has a boyfriend. But she's a girl. So, she's a girl-boyfriend."

I didn't laugh at her innocence. "Yeah, whatever, that happened and- Kid, go away! I don't need to talk to you."

The blonde examined me carefully. "Did you love him? Why'd you do it?"

I felt like incinerating the child. "Because I had to. It's complicated. Grown up stuff. You wouldn't understand it."

She twirled her lollipop around absentmindedly. "What's his name?" She asked sweetly and tapped her toe.

"Dipper," my chest tightened, "Dipper Pines."

"Funny name." She said, chuckling. "What about you?"

I sighed, laying my legs down and resting back on my hands. "Bill Cipher."

The girl chuckled. "Do you want my lollipop. Maybe it'll make you feel better, Mr. Bill Cipher?"

I shook my head, grimacing. "No."

The blonde sighed. "Oh, ok."

"Where are you're parents?" I asked angrily. She was starting to annoy me.

"Does it matter?" She asked with a tone that shocked me and I blinked, surprised. The girl giggled. "I'm joking! They're up ahead." She waved goodbye and ran away without another word.

I rolled my eye and let myself drop back down so I was lying on my back. "Stupid meat sacks. Always so curious." I crossed my arms and stared up at the blue sky and muttered to myself. Everyone else was so happy and care free. They didn't know what was happening to me.

Was this how all other humans felt when something traumatic happens to them? Who cares. It's not like I needed to know. I needed to get Eleanor back. Her birthday was going to be soon and I could get her a present. Maybe that'd help me out?

I wiped my tears away, hiccuping. Gosh, hiccuping is embarrassing. Thank goodness that Pine Tree wasn't here or he would have said something like-

"No." I told myself sternly. "You're not allowed to think about him anymore, Bill." I took a deep, shuttering breath. "No more." I turned on my heel and began to walk down the sidewalk again.

The little girl was nowhere to be seen and only then did I realize that I didn't get her name. Whatever. It's not like I needed to take it down so I could kill her later. She was just being a nuisance.

I began to make my way to Arrow's house. Then, I would tell her I broke up with Pine Tree. It had to be done.

Ehhhhh short chapter. Ah, whatever.
I hate making my characters cry GR