12: a train trip and talks

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Picture is Martha :)

Colton's POV:

When we got back, I was determined to have another talk with Neill.

He was like my brother, and I couldn't let that go. It didn't matter that I was sitting there in just a onesie and a diaper, that was me now. Even though it was still kind of embarrassing.

I walked to him, and sat down on the bench he was sitting on.

"Neill, I- I'm sorry for keeping secrets. Can you forgive me?" I asked, and he smiled at me.

"If you can forgive me for being such a douchebag about it. I talked to Lydia, and she made me see what was really going around in that.. little head of yours. It might be difficult for me, for both of us, to adapt to this situation. But I promise I'll try my best" He said, and because I really didn't have a response for that, I gave him a big, big hug.

Sometimes I forget that I'm pretty big, so I kind of knocked him over, but he laughed about it.

"Thank you so much" I said, and he chuckled.

"Of course, dude. Just know that I'm never going to be on diaper duty" he said, and I blushed while pushing him.

"Shush! That's just- that's- don't say stuff like that!" I huffed, and he laughed.

"I'm messing with you, Colt. Even though I'm honestly never doing that, because bros can only do so much for eachother. I'm still kind of impressed that you managed to keep this a secret from me. I've seem you like this for three hours, and I already feel like I've learned more about you than in the past fourteen years." Neill said, and I nodded.

"It's scary, and embarrassing, but I'm also happy that you know now. I don't like secrets" I admitted, and he smiled.

"No, I don't like them either. But tell me, you and Lydia. How did that happen?" he asked, and I beamed at mommy, who was sitting across the wagon, talking to Martha.

"Only if you tell me about you and Martha" I said, and Neill chuckled.

"I don't know if all of that is meant for little ears" he smirked, and I shoved him again.

"Shut it! I've heard it all before" I said, and he laughed.

"That's true. Well, we've spent the past few nights together, and I have to admit that she's amazing. She's down-to-earth, and not scared to call me out on my bullshit. She's amazingly funny, and obviously super-amazingly hot. She's basically everything I've ever wanted in a girl" he said with a lovesick smile, and I poked him in the cheek with a giggle.

"What's that? Is big, tough, single Neill all of the sudden in love?" I laughed, and I could swear that he blushed.

"Shut up, you big baby" he snarked, and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"That's a low blow" I whined, and he laughed.

"Hey, you've been making jokes about every single part of my personality for all of my life, now it's time I return the favor. But honestly, I have to say that you look a-deer-able" he grinned, and I looked down at my pale green onesie with a picture of a small deer that said exactly that.

"Mommy picked that out. And they're comfy" I said while fiddling with my pacifier strap, and he smiled at me.

"Dude, it's okay. Really. Humour is how I cope, you know this. We're both still getting used to this" he said, and I nodded.

"You can ask whatever you want, you know. I don't want to hide anything anymore" I said, and he nodded while awkwardly rubbing his neck.

"Well, um. What's it really like to fall into headspace? I can't really imagine how that must feel" Neill said, and I shugged.

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