Divergent | No War

8 - I love you

The next few days are hard. I only sometimes see Tobias. Sometimes in the hallways. Sometimes in the cafeteria. Chris, Mar, Lynn and Shauna help me as much as they can. And i try. I try to live my life but whenever i am alone for a second Tobias steals his way into my brain. The picture of Tobias sitting hunshed over in this train cart haunts me. But also multiple other memories rush through my brain and make a hot pain race through my body.
Dannie kind of notices that i am pretty flustered and gives me the rest of the day off. I thank him although i don't really know what to do now. I pack my things and walk towards my apartment deep in thoughts. Suddenly i bump into someone. "Sorry." I mumble. "Tris." I hear a weak voice. I look up and meet dark blue eyes. "Tobias." I say suprised. He looks awful. He has really dark circles under his eyes and looks pale. His eyes are blood shot and he blinks way to often - as if it is a fight to keep the eyes open. "H-how are you?" I ask him carefully. He looks away and shakes his head. "Not good." He says with a small voice. And then i suddenly can't hold myself back anymore. I take a step towards him and wrap my arms tightly around his body. In the same moment he steps forward as well and wraps his arms around me even tighter. I press my face to his chest and feel how slowly all the tension that build up in my body flows out. I press myself closer to him and his strong arms hold me close. "I missed you." He whispers and his voice breaks. I squeeze him. "I missed you too." He burries his face in my hair and i mine in his chest. We fit together perfectly. He pulls away a bit but only to press his lips on mine. I kiss him back hungrily. I craved for this. For his lips on mine. For his hands on my back. My hands on his hip. Finally i am happy again.
After a while we pull away but keep our foreheads together and our heavy breathing mixes for a few seconds. He pecks my lips one more time before we pull away. Not completly though. His arm stays wraped around my shoulder and mine still is around his hip. I rest my head on his shoulder. We walk to his apartment and he unlocks the door. His apartment is suprisingly clean. There are a few plates in the sink but other than that its clean. We sit down on the couch and immediatly we both lean towards eachother and our lips meet again. My hand is tangled in his hair and his rests on my back. "I love you." I say between kisses. Tobias grins widely. "Say it again." I smile. "I love you Tobias." He smiles even wider and presses his lips to mine again. "I love you too." I pull myslef on his lap so i am straddling him. My hand is in his hair again and my lips find his once more. We keep kissing untill it knocks. Tobias groans and stands up. I am still sitting on his hip. He grins at me and carries me like a little kid towards the door. I jump down just before he opens the door. I stand behind him, rest my chin on his shoulder and wrap my arms around his torso. Uri stands behind the door and looks pretty dumpfounded when he sees me. He points at us. "Are you a thing now. Again. I mean." I smile and kiss Tobys cheek. "Yup." Uri grins. "Good. Then we finally don't have to hear Four whining." I burry my face in Tobias shoulder. "What do you want?" Toby asks. "Shauna made a desicion." My eyes widen and i stand straighter. "What?" Uri nods. "Yeah come with me." I nod and walk past Tobias. I tuck at his hand. "Come on." He nods and grabs his jacket.

"And what did you decide?" Chris asks. Shauna looks at Mark for comfort but he is to busy with something else again. Zeke looks like he would strangle him if he could. "We- I decided to keep the baby. I don't want to live with the grief of killing my baby." I smile and hug her closly. "Congrats. You're going to be a mom!" She laughs and hugs me back. Everyone else congratulates her as well.
In the evening we all meet in the only bar at Dauntless. We get a group table in the corner. Even Mark came with us.
After a few drinks - mine without alcohol - Zeke suddenly stands up and walks towards the small stage. He climbs the stairs and takes the microphone. Everyone of our group looks at him suprised and curious. "Ok everyone. I will sing a song for a very special girl. I liked her for a long time and just never dared to tell her. This song is for you Shauna." He points at thr DJ. Shauna looks at him shocked and i have to bite my lip to stop myself from smiling. "Bring it on." The DJ gives him thumbs up and starts the music.
I don't know the song that comes on but the chorus is pretty catchy. "I know i can treat you better. Than he can." Zeke sings and points at Mark. He looks shocked and we all laugh. "Cause any girl like you deserves a gentleman." Zeke pretends as if he had a hat. "tell me why are we waisting time on all your wasted crime if you should be with me instead? I know i can treat you better. Better than he can!" He throws the microphone on he floor of the stage and hops down. He walks with long strides towards shauna and then stands infront of her. He places one hand over his heart. "Shauna. I loved you for a long time. I was just to stupid to realise. But now. Now i have to see you with this idiot and you are carrying his baby. But i don't mind that. I want to be the father of that baby and i want to be together with you." Shauna wipes a single tear. Suddenly Mark jumps into action. "What? You want to be together with my girl?" He wraps his arms tightly around Shaunas hips. "You're hurting me." Shauna complains. "No. You're going to come with me! You're mine!" By now Mark screams. He drags Shauna with him. "No! Leave me alone!" Shauna screams. Quickly zeke is by her side and with one punch Mark falls to the floor. Zeke gently takes Shaunas hands in his. "Thank you." She whispers and then presses her lips on his. We all cheer while they still kiss. When they pulled away Zeke wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her towards him. He kisses the top of her head and she beams up at him. We all cheer louder ane congratulate the new couple.

After an evening full of laughter and drinking a bit of sekt i walk back to tobias apartment together with him. I am already kind of tipsy although i watched what i drank and also everyone else. Espacially Tobias. Our hands are intervined between us. He unlocks his apartment door and i jump inside. I giggle and he smiles at me. "I am sorry i broke up with you." I mumble and look on the floor. He kicks the door shut and walks towards me. He gently lifts my chin up. "Don't be. I deserved it. I behaved like an idiot." I smile a bit and pull him closer to me. He smiles as well and slowly kisses me. I kiss back and jump up a bit. He ets the hint and catches my legs that i wraped around his waist. He holds me by my thigh and my hip. "I love you." I mumble against his lips. "I love you too." He answers and lays me down on his bed. He hovers over me and slowly crawls on top of me. Our lips crash again. He laughs when i wrap my legs around his hips again. I rolls us over and stroke the hair away from his forehead. I slowly kiss his forehead. His cheeks. His nose. He smiles and i kiss his lips again. He rolls us over again and kisses my neck. I lay my hands on his back and press him closer to me. He kisses my neck and then trails down towards my colar bone. I sigh again and tangle one hand in his hair. One of my hands slip under his shirt and i pull it up. He quickly pulls it over his head and i touch his bare skin. I trail down his back over his tattoo. He sighs and slips his hand under my shirt as well. At first i recoil and pull away from him. "Are you okay?" Tobias asks out of breath. I slowly nod. "Just a bit scared." I mumble and blood shoots in my cheeks. "Don't be. I swear i won't do anything you don't want." He lays one hand on my cheek and softly kisses my lips. "But for today i would be okay with sleeping." I laugh a bit and kiss him once more before we both stand up to change.
He walks in the room after i got dressed in one of his shirts and a pair of boxers of him. He still wears no shirt and he just wants to grab one when i wrap my arms around him from behind to stop him. "Can you- can you leave it?" He looks at me suprised at first but then smiles and nods. He kisses me one more time before we both lie down next to eachother. "Good night Tris. I love you." I cuddel close to him and rest my head against his chest while his head lies on my head. "Good night. Love you too." He wraps his arms around me. "You don't know how long i've dreamed of hearing these words from you." I press myself even closer to him. "I am sorry." I mumble. He kisses the top of my head. "Its not your fault." And then within the next minute we both are asleep.