Divergent | No War

64 - Talking

Tris
Chewing on my lip I enter the apartment. "Hey." I greet still deep in thoughts. "Hey Tris." Tobias greets back and smiles. I nod and flop down on the couch. Today at the leader meeting we talked about who should leave the city and find out what is out there. We want to put together a group out of the best people from every faction. Tobias was mentioned and they suggested that I go as well. Also another guy i don't know was brought up. There are supposed to be three from every faction. I'd be happy with the ones that were suggested, i just guess that tobias wouldn't be happy with me going. But I can't even talk about it with him. But on the other hand we decided that the people we chose should get to know about the project earlier. In about a week... if I told him now... it wouldn't be much of a difference.

"Tobias..." i say and snap out of my thoughts. He looks up and smiles. "Yeah. Everything okay?" I slowly nod. "I have to tell you something." He looks up. "More good news?" I move my head to look at him. "It depends..." He frowns and turns to me. "Okay..." I slowly nod. "You know, I am not really... not really allowed to tell you yet. But the time that was chosen that I'd be allowed to tell you is to late. So I kind of have to tell you now because we have to discuss this matter." By the end of my speech he looks completly confused. "Euh okay..." "No, you don't understand. Its a huge thing. I could be thrown into jail for telling you." Now i got his attention. "I wouldn't let them throw you into jail." I smile a bit. "You will understand why it is like that as soon as I told you..."

He nods and waits patiently. I clench my hands in my lap and then stand up just to sit down a second later again. "Okay so. Do you remember that day when I came home pretty flustered and everything?" He frowns. "Yeah kinda. It was the day you yelled at zeke and me." I nod. "Yeah exactly. Well i was this stressed because at the leaders meeting... I got to know something." He slowly nods. "Okay." "They told all the leaders that, that there is more." He frowns. "What do you mean? More..." i nod. "Our city is an experiment." He raises his eyebrows. "What?" "There are people out there. People that we don't know. People that designed this city as an experiment to prevent the world from another war." He shakes his head. "Another?" I nod. "Yes. There were three big world wars, and the last one was the worst. It destroyed nearly everything. After that some people decided to put our great-grandparents into this experiment. To save the world from another war. It wasn't further explained, but the important thing is: there is more. More than this city, more people. Other people."

By now he already looks at me like i am crazy. "Tris... you know i always believe you but this..." I take his hand and mine and look him into the eyes. "It is true. I swear. I saw a video and everything." "How do you know it wasn't fake?" I frown. "What do you mean fake?" "It could be some strategy from the leaders..." i rub my forehead. "But what would they achieve with that?" He shrugs. "I don't know. A panic, more power." I shake my head. "I don't believe that. They are making to much of an affort to leave the city." He leans back and looks my face up and down. "What do you mean?" "That is the other thing. There is going to be a team out of three people from every faction." He turns towards me. "Okay..." "This team will leave the boundaries of the city behind and go to whatever is out there." He looks at me warrily. "Why are you telling me this, Tris?" "Today the dauntless leadership proposed their choice of people and since you are some kind of dauntless protegé you were brought up and this guy named Jeffrey. And... and they suggested me." "No!" He immediatly says. "Tobias..." "No tris! If its true what they say and there is something or someone out there we don't know who those people are and what they want. I won't let you risk that. Think of our baby." I shake my head and take his hand in mine again. "Tobias Eaton, please listen to me now. I know that it could be dangerous. I know what i am risking but... Tobias I can't stay here and let other people do it. By the time we go i will be about two months pregnant, nothing will happen. It won't be a risk or anything. And i need to know what is out there. I really do." He looks at me troubled and then pulls me towards him. "You are asking for a lot." I pull him close to me. I don't want us to fight about this. "I know." I squeeze out - my voice muffled by his shirt. I feel how the tears prick behind my eyes. Stupid hormones.
"Please Tobias. You will be with me. Nothing will happen to me." I guide his hand over my stomach. "To us." He pulls away a bit but only to press his lips on mine. "Okay." He whispers against my lips. My eyes light up and i feel how a few tears unvoluntarily fall onto my cheek. "Really?"
He nods and i press my lips to his again. "Thank y-" "But" he interupts me. "I got a few conditions." I lean my head against his chest and he wipes away the few tears on my cheek. "Anything." "First of all, if I don't come you won't go." I quickly nod. "Of course. I wouldn't want to leave without you." He nods. "Second, if I say we stop on this tour, we stop." I bite my lip. "Look Tobias, i can't decide that. There will be the leaders of the tour who decide when we stop." He sighs. "Okay... well then how about you have to be completly honest about your state. You don't pretend that you are okay, you don't lie to me about your well being. I don't want to ask myself all the time whether you are okay or not. Promise that." I nod eagerly. "I promise. I will always tell you the truth." He nods. "And..." i look at him. "If you are to tired you will let me carry you, or take your bags or anything to help you." I frown. "I don't want to be viewed like that. I don't want to be the weak girl that has to be carried by her fiancé." "I don't care!" He snaps. "I don't care." He says again - softer this time. "I need to have a few securities that I know you are safe and well and that the baby is safe and well." I sigh. "Okay then. I will let you help me if I need it. But I also got a condition. You need to believe me when I say that I am fine. You can't say that I am lying, you have to trust me that I am telling the truth." He nods. "I promise."

I smile a bit and press my lips to his. "I am glad you are okay with it now." He nods and pecks my lips as well. "I am glad you talked about it with me." I peck his lips again. "I love you." "I love you too. So much."
For a few more hours we just talk about what possibilities there are. No one of us knows what's out there. We all will walk into something we don't know anything about. It feels weird to talk about it but at the same time I am so relieved because I could finally tell Tobias. We also keep talking about the baby until we eventually end up at possible baby names. "What do you think of..." I pause for a few seconds. "What about Kira?" He ponders about it. "Mh, I don't know. I don't think our baby should be named Kira..." I chew on my lip - thinking. After a while Tobias says, "What do you think of Felix?" I look at him frowning. "For a girl?" He glares at me playfully. "No silly. For a boy. I like that name." I nod. "Me too." I smile at him and then down at my stomach. "Felix." I look up at him again. "And for a girl?" He intervenes our hands. "For a girl... Alina." I shake my head but then get an idea. "What about Elena?" His smile broadens. "Elena it is." "Felix or Elena. When did the doctor say we could see whether it is a boy or a girl?" He smiles and pecks my forehead. "In about two or three months. You will have to be patient for a bit longer..." I sigh. "I guess I do. I hate being patient." He chuckles lightly. "I know you do." "I know that you know that." I answer and grin. He rolls his eyes and pecks my lips again.

For a few more hours we just keep talking and cuddling. After a while of joking around he turns to me and his face is more serious again. "I am really scared for you to go out there." I nod slightly. "I am also worried for you. But with this knowledge... How couldn't I go?" He sighs and pulls me closer. "I know. I know." He sighs. "I still don't like it." I cuddle closer to him and snuggle to him. "Nothing will happen to me. You'll be with me and so will other people that can protect us." He nods. "The part that I'd be with you convinced me more. I don't want to rely on others." I smile a bit and peck his cheek. "I know. I thought so." He grins at me and then flips us over so he is hovering above me. "I think we've talked enough." I giggle and slowly pull him down to me. His lips meet mine and as ever I am taken aback by how soft and easy to kiss they are. He sighs in my mouth softly and his hand grabs my hip tighter. I sigh as well and flip us over so I am on top of him. He chuckles and I feel the deep rumbling in his stomach. I have to grin as well. "I love you Beatrice Prior." I smile and kiss him again. "I love you Tobias."

"There they are!" I hear Uri shout as soon as we enter the cafeteria. He runs towards us. "Hey Uricorn. What's up?" I ask and playfully ruffle his hair. He ducks away from my hand. "Hey! I needed twenty minutes to get my hair like that." I roll my eyes. "No but seriously. What is it?" He takes me by my arm and leads Tobias and me over to the table where the others sit as well. Here no one but Chris knows about me being pregnant. I don't know how and when to tell them. Little Lya jumps up and runs towards Tobias. He laughs and easily picks her up. "Hey little one. How are you?" She starts telling him something while I already sit down next to Chris. "How are you?" She asks and smiles. I nod. "I'm fine. Everything is perfectly well." She winks at me and I have to grin before the others start asking tons of questions. Sadly I haven't been able to really keep in contact with them. With the baby coming and all the leaders meetings I had to focus on other things.
Tobias sits down next to me and softly nudges my shoulder. Lya still clings to him. You can tell that she missed him. She is still telling him something but I got the feeling that he doesn't really listen.
I smile and enjoy being surrounded by my friends. I know that I will miss them like hell as soon as I left the city. I just want them to come with me. But the separation doesn't have to be forever. I laugh about Uri who just fell down his chair and help mar throw little pieces of muffins at him. I laugh till my stomach hurts.