Continues from last chapter...
"Solange?" I stared at them. "Beyonce, honey, I-" Automatic tears started falling. I didn't want to do this in front of Carter's family, but I was speechless. I didn't know what emotion to express at this point.
"You wanna talk to them outside?" Carter asked. I covered my mouth, nodded. Staring at them intently, I tried to make my mind believe it was them. "Come on." He walked me outside on the porch and closed the door. Sitting down on the chair, I put my head in my hands.
"Beyonce, baby." My mother sat beside me. I knew it was her. Her energy and her vibe always made me feel like somebody loved me.
"Why did you leave me?" The first full sentence out of my mouth. Nobody seemed to have an answer. "And when you left too, you didn't think about me twice." I said to Solange.
"When I left, I didn't know how I'd provide for myself. Let alone two children." She said in a calm voice. It was ridiculously hard to get angry at this woman.
"Matthew was sick. He needed help. I apologize for leaving you, but you were strong for staying." I shook my head. "A stripper. That's what I am." I said, for the first time ashamed. I failed my mother, didn't make her proud. "When I tried to look for you, you were nowhere. I assumed both of you were dead and that shit hurt."
"I went through so much when you two left. I would say too much, but apparently it's not compared to the hell I go through on a daily basis. And you know what might help? A mother." I wiped the tears that kept falling. "You left me." I said, plainly. Her hand went on my back and she rubbed it.
Solange came and sat beside me. "Bey, all I ever wanted for years was to see you again. I just found out mama was alive too." I sighed.
"Look, our family was split apart. I feel like it shouldn't matter what happened and we should just move forward." My mom said, smiling. I shook my head. "Its not that easy. When you two left, that son of a bitch started hitting me. I got in a relationship that was bad for me. I acquired a job that included what I loved, but also included being seen as a piece of meat."
"Wait, you never got accepted into Juilliard?" I shook my head. "And I wasn't going for anything less so I gave up all together." A tear fell from my eye. "It took me too many years to get somewhere secure with someone who loves me." Solange scrunched her eyebrows up.
"Who?" I smiled a little, sniffing. "Carter," I pointed to him, making a phone call in the driveway, "my boss."
"I probably sound like a hoe to you guys-" my mother shook her head. "No, you did what you had to do." I shook my head. "I was supposed to be a professional dancer like we planned and I hate to blame it on the non existent relationship we had after you left, but I feel like that's apart of the reason I never succeeded."
She sighed, smiling a little. "Beyonce, are you happy? Other than this moment right here." I nodded. "Do you have a content lifestyle?" I nodded. "You have someone that loves you?" I nodded. "You see a brighter path than before?" It took a second for me to answer, but I nodded.
"You did succeed. Just because nothing happened like you planned doesn't mean your life is completely ruined forever without fixing." I nodded, listening close to her lecture. "Solange left and did the same thing."
"Maybe all of us were separated for a reason. We had to grow stronger for ourselves." She said. I cried more. Pulling me closer to her, I cried on her shoulder. Solange patted my back and grabbed my hand, holding it.
"I understand you wanted answers, but it's kind of cold outside..." She said. I laughed a little, wiping my eyes. "Go in, I'll wait for Carter." They nodded, going in. Walking out into the driveway, I grabbed his phone. "You won't on the phone, you was listening to us the whole time. Next time don't have your phone on the home screen."
