1 | I Want to Die

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Alright! Another story!!!! Go Jessi!

So... imma just throw some things out there that will be on the background and blah blah blah of this book. First off, this is more of a sad book. It does talk about suicide and cutting and hatred thoughts towards yourself. Also, it may seam like I'm hating on Andrew and Court, I SWEAR I AM NOT! Seriously people, I love the both of them, I swear. Another thing, this does take place in 2019, starting in May. I will put dates in chapters, just to make it easier to follow. One last thing... chapters will vary in length, so BEAR WITH ME PEOPLE! Some might be 2,100 words or 1,678 words or even 3,294 words, it depends on how I'd like to end the chapter.

Okay, I lied, there is a few more things. This will all be in Laura's POV. And, Laura has an iPhone (I know, surprise!). Um... my updates will be Saturday's like every other book. Oh, and this story, as of now, will most likely not be as long as my other book, Two in a Million, but you never know what could happen (in ten years). [jkjk, I had to try and quote my Rossypoo😚] and stay tuned until the end. The covers a few people made me will be there!
Enjoy💜

A Little Unsteady: 1 | I Want to Die
| Laura Marano |

| May 11th, 2019 (btw, it's a Saturday) |

"It was great seeing the two of you." I say, hugging Raini tightly while glancing at Calum. A few minutes ago, Ross mentioned he had to use the bathroom, so he already said his goodbyes.

"Make sure to tell blondie that we need to meet up asap before things get crazy again." Raini says, as I hug Calum. Calum gives me a tight squeeze and lifts me up off the ground. "I really miss us." She whispers. "And I'm proud of you, Laura." I give her a soft smile.

"Bye, shorty." Calum says, messing with my hair. I playfully roll my eyes. "Love you all." I mumble an I love you too and wave them off as they both walk out to Calum's car. Raini still doesn't have her drivers license, and Calum being so generous, made it his mission to pick her up and drop her off. Sighing, I shut my front door.

"Ross?!" I call out, making my way down the hall to the bathroom. He's been in their for awhile. Shrugging, I touch the door handle and jiggle it a little. Luckily for me, it wasn't locked. And boy was I grateful for that. "ROSS WHAT THE FUCK?!" I shout at the top of my lungs. All of a sudden, the several pills he had close to his mouth in his hand all fell the the floor and his eyes go wide. "What the hell are you thinking?!" I screech.

"Oh my god." I whisper, realizing what had just happened. "You were about to kill yourself..." I mumble. "No no no no no! No no! No, Ross!" I begin, shaking my head vigorously. "You can't do this!" I add, still shaking my head. "You have so many friends and family surrounding you, you'd crush them. And the fans? Oh my fuck, the fans would literally kill themselves too. What about Raini, Calum and I?! Oh my god, I don't think I'd be okay... Ross, please-"

"YOU DON'T GET IT!" He screams, fists clenched and all. I immediately shut up and look at his face. His cheeks were blotchy, his eyes were red, his hair was a mess... all signs he was crying. Probably about this damn decision. "I hate myself, Laura! I hate my looks! I hate my hair! I hate my eyes! I hate EVERYTHING ABOUT ME!" He shouts, pulling at his hair. He had a small chunk of a broken mirror in his left hand, making me wince and shake. Please, Ross, don't do it.

"Why?" I ask. "Everybody loves you, Ross." I whisper, looking up at him. He shakes his head.

"Not Courtney!" My eyebrows furrow. I knew they broke up, but I also knew they remained good friends. "Not the fans! Not my family, not ANYBODY!" What? "Courtney dumped me because she didn't love me! The fans talk so much fucking shit about me, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I JUST CAN'T! IT'S ALL TOO MUCH. THE PRESSURE, THE REPUTATION, EVERYTHING!" My heart literally breaks. "I want it all gone!" He adds, the first real sob escaping his lips. I've never seen him cry before. "I... I w-wa-want to die." He chokes out, his arms falling to his side in defeat. Slowly, I make my way to him, his sobs still ringing in my ears.

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