Open Up (OHSHC)

Chapter 42: Pizza and Pity

Finn's house was beautiful. Marble tiles, huge glass windows, magnificent rooms and beautiful furniture. It was a lovely home.

"I really like your house." I gushed stepping into his kitchen.

"Thanks. You want something to drink?" He asked.

I nodded. "Water's fine."

He pulled out a water. My mouth felt really dry from all the crying. I needed to replenish what water I had list from all the tears I made. Just thinking about that much made me teary eyed.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Finn's firm hand rubbed my back. It felt really nice and comforting.

"I think Hikaru and I broke up." I broke down, stuffing my face between my hands.

"You think?" Finn drew circles in my back.

I nodded into my tears. "Have no idea at this point. We are on-again-off-again, and I can't even figure out where we are half the time. It's like we are in the confusion of a relationship and I just don't know where it's taking us."

He pulled me close into an embrace. He was so sweet, never doing anything to hurt me. Even when I basically dropped him for Hikaru he didn't tell at me. Financier was the best.

He sighed in my hair. "Give it time. I'm sure things will work out for the two of you. They always do." His calmed voice spoke.

"But that's the problem Finn. I don't want us to always break up and then get back together." I looked up into his eyes. "I need to know I'm not the one crawling back like I always do. I want to know that he feels the same for me."

"I'm sure he does. Who wouldn't?" Finn let out a soft giggle.

"But I want him to tell me. He never shows me affection. I want all that cute relationship junk. I want to hold hands, and have picnics, and sleepovers, and cuddles, and valentines. I just want to know he feels the same way as I do him."

I hadn't had many boyfriends. But from the ones I had never turned out like this. They were sweet and cute, mostly. I just wanted that. Why did we have to fight all the time? Why couldn't someone just love me for me, and all the stupid things I do?

"Shhh... It's going to be ok." Finn pet my hair.

"Do you think it's weird?" I asked against his chest.

"Do I think what's weird?"

"To date someone, but flirt with other girls all day?"

"That's not called weird, that's called being an asshole." He laughed.

I shook my head. "Well I mean, am I over reacting because I don't really like the idea of Hikaru in the Host Club? I love the Club and everything I just-"

"I get it, don't worry. I bet if he saw guys flirting with you he would feel the same."

"I just want him to see the effects he had on me. How does he not get all this?"

Maybe I was being selfish. I had to put myself into his shoes right now.

How would I feel if my boyfriend practically hated me. I didn't hate him, but my words did. I mad this all seem like it was his fault.... But it was. Or was I blowing that out of water.

Holding hands

Picnics

Cuddles

Movies

I wanted all if that. He didn't even compromise with me. Just yelled at me because I never asked him for any of that. I never did but...

This was my fault wasn't it?

"Was this all my fault?!" I hugged on him tighter.

Heart heart hurt and my body felt like it was succumbing to nothing. I was being drained from the life of Hikaru. I was just some clog in his life who always gives him bad days.

Finn continued petting my hair and drawing circles in my back. "No, don't say that. I bet he feels the same. Maybe even worse."

Finn put me down on the couch to answer the door I didn't even know was ringing. He pulled a blanket on me and turned on the TV. It was all blurry from my lack of glasses and teary eyes.

"Can I see her?!"

My head pulled up. Was Hikaru here? I sniffed and Finn came into the room with pizza.

"It was the pizza guy." He smiled.

"Then who was..." I whispered to myself.

"No, she is my wife!" The TV roared.

Oh, it was just the TV... I was a little disappointed. Did I even want to see him? Did he want to see me? When did Finn order pizza?

I wasn't looking forward to seeing Hikaru tomorrow.

If he didn't call or text me at all tonight then I knew it was off. But should I text him?! IM SO CONFUSED!?