Courage, Dear Heart (Liskook ff)

(27) HIS

JUNGKOOK's POV

Since the time when me and Taehyung got a conversation on the locker area, I can't understand my self. I'm always uncertain for everything. Except for the part, whenever Tzuyu goes near to me with no important reason, I always walk away from her.

Taehyung and I are still friends. After that scene, he returns back to his normal attitude. He's okay with me now. I am too with him, but I'm not sure if I'm okay with the fact that Lisa and Taehyung are getting closer. I always see them together, just laughing and sometimes they're talking about something serious matter which I observe based on their faces. I just hope that he won't use his usual plan for Lisa. I might forget him as my friend if he does that.

For this last day, I'm being assigned as an official. The auditionees start entering the backstage when I got to this place. So I take all their forms here in the entrance and starts counting how many students will audition for the last day. And that's when the last form got my attention.

"Lalisa Manoban?" I read within my head.

Why is her name here? Is she also taking the audition? I didn't know that she can sing. She never showed and told me about it back then. Really Lisa, just how many secrets you kept from me when we're together?

I decided to go now in the backstage and there I saw her, just sitting on the corner watching the other auditionees practicing. She looks like she feels intimidated but then she manages to get hold of herself.

Through out the entire time, I'm just staring at Lisa without her noticing it. She is every inch of the word beautiful, and every letter in the words bold and strong.

When she finally stood up from her seat and went behind the big curtains to peek something, I went near to her. And then I heard her says,

"I can't do this, I'm not ready" I think she got shocked when she saw how many people will watch her sing. But just before she changed her mind, I held her immediately.

"Yes you can" I said.

"Jungkook?" Her face looks more surprised when she saw me. Then she looked at my ID with an unbelievable expression.

"You can't back out now" She's already here. She needs to overcome this situation.

"You don't understand" She always says those words. No Lisa, I understand you. I feel you because I was once an auditionee but I still took the risk despite of being nervous.

"Do it if it will help yourself to feel better and happy. Don't wait for the time that you'll regret the things that you should have done because you really want to"

At some point, I do regret what I did to her back then. I really didn't want to leave her like that. I regret not listening to her whole explanation and apology. That's why I felt worst and unhappy after doing that.

But I know to myself, I left her just because I was being hurt. And maybe she may come into a realization that she made a mistake and she'll be the one to open and come to me first. I thought it was the only way to make things work at that time. But I was wrong, even in my graduation she didn't come for me. She didn't even search for me when I left Busan.

Whatever you think is best for your self Lisa, do it. I don't want you to feel what I felt that day. Painful.

"Every level in my life will require a different version of me, right?" I'm glad that she's taking a note of my words.