Understanding

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It was there. They never spoke of it or acknowledged its presence, but it was there. It slowly grew larger, spreading like a giant chasm, flowing like a river of poison, separating one side from another. Each failure only caused the chasm to grow wider, the river to become more toxic, as the sudden rift between Ash and Greninja pushed them farther away from each other.
There was no point in denying it anymore. Ash could no longer sense Greninja's feelings or connect with him the way he used to. Whatever had been between them was just...gone.
Well, maybe not entirely gone. But something had definitely changed. And whatever it was seemed to have caused Greninja to lose the trust he'd once had in Ash.
The others noticed the change as well. Bonnie wanted to shake some sense into Greninja, but Clemont stopped her, pointing out that Ash and Greninja needed to work out their issues for themselves. Serena thought she understood some of what was going on, but was careful not to intervene since Greninja wasn't her Pokemon.
"Maybe I should just let him go," Ash said one night to Serena. She turned to look at him, shocked.
"Ash, why would you say that? Just because you're having a bit of trouble doesn't mean you won't work things out," she said. "Greninja cares about you a lot, I just know he does. You'll figure things out sooner or later."
Ash just shrugged. "If you say so, Serena," he replied skeptically. "But how do you know things will work out? Greninja left every other trainer he had, and who knows how many other people must have tried to work with him that just weren't good enough in his eyes? I'm nothing special, so I don't see why I should be any different."
He didn't know that Greninja was standing right outside the door, listening to every word.

Greninja sat alone that night, thinking about all the recent failures at activating his bond with Ash. Or, what had been his bond with Ash before this...whatever it was had opened up between them.
Sometimes he felt he didn't understand his trainer the way he once thought he did. When he had first met Ash, he was a kind, caring person who would go to any lengths to help his friends. That still held true, but over the past few weeks he'd realized there was also a part of Ash that pushed everyone away. He let others in, but never let them get too close. Perhaps it was intentional, perhaps Ash himself didn't even realize it. Greninja himself had never noticed until he had actually attempted to synchronize his feelings with Ash's.
"Why are you pushing so hard?" he whispered to the cold, empty night. "Do you even know you're doing it? What is it about everyone that you don't trust?"

"You know, if you want to leave, I won't hold it against you."
Ash spoke these words-thirteen of them, strung together by fourteen syllables-to Greninja a few nights later. Greninja turned to look at him, surprised, but Ash continued to stare off into space and didn't seem to be aware of this.
"We can't keep going like this, this in between thing, being connected and not at the same time," he continued. "I'm sure if you left, you could find another trainer. Someone who would be able to bond with you the way we used to. Someone who could draw out your potential."
His words sliced like knives through the crisp, cool moonlit night. Greninja could only stare at Ash in disbelief for a few moments. He did understand, but his understanding came in a way that tore at his heart slightly. Did Ash want him to leave?
"All I'm saying, I guess, is that I'll understand if you choose to follow your own path from here. Because this is still your life and I'm not one to hold back others. That's all," Ash finished.
Oh. So it was just that.

A few more weeks went by, and nothing changed. The rift didn't get worse, but it didn't get any better either.
Until one day, something happened that changed everything, for better or for worse.
Ash was sitting at the breakfast table at the Pokemon Center, eating his toast and talking with Serena and Bonnie, when Clemont and Nurse Joy approached him with a letter. From the look on their faces, something was wrong. Horribly wrong.
"Clemont, what's the matter?" Ash asked, worry rising up inside him. Clemont just shook his head.
"Ash, this-this came for you," he said, holding out the letter to him. "It's about your mother."
Ash felt himself go pale at those words, but couldn't figure out why. After all, the last time he'd seen his mother, she'd been perfectly fine. So why did he suddenly have a sick feeling in his stomach?
With shaking hands, he took the letter from Clemont and began to read.
Dear Ash,
I am deeply sorry to inform you that your mother, Delia Ketchum, died this morning in a car crash. Her belongings and anything else in the house will be sent to you immediately. Please accept my sincerest expressions of sympathy.
With regards,
Officer Jenny of Pallet Town
There was a footnote at the bottom as well.
Ash-
I'm so sorry. I forgot to mail this to you two weeks ago and just found it lying on my desk this morning. I'm sorry, but the funeral was already held a week ago. Forgive me for my error in judgement, Ash.
Sincerely,
Professor Oak
Ash could only stare at the letter, breathing heavily. This wasn't happening. This simply wasn't happening.
His mother-the only blood family member he had left-was dead, and no one had thought to tell him until after the funeral.
"Pika?" Pikachu asked worriedly.
"Ash, what's wrong?" Serena asked.
"Yeah, what's the matter?" Bonnie piped up. "You can tell us. We're your friends."
Ash ignored them and stood up, tossing the letter onto the table and placing a confused Pikachu in Serena's arms before walking out the door, not even bothering to grab his jacket on the way out.

"Where's Ash? We've usually started training long before now, but I haven't seen him at all today," Hawlucha noted.
"I don't know, I was just thinking the same thing," Talonflame admitted. "Maybe he's sick or something?"
"Even if he was sick, he'd still be out training," Noivern argued. "He's stubborn that way."
Greninja was sitting silently, his eyes closed. He tried to block out the voices of his friends so he could try to connect with Ash. When that didn't work, he gave up and tried to think of all the possible places Ash could be, or why he would abandon his normal rigorous training routine. Something must have happened, but what?
"Actually, I know what happened," Pikachu said sadly.
"What? What is it?" Hawlucha demanded.
"Ash got a letter this morning," Pikachu answered. "His mother died a couple weeks ago. And no one told him until after the funeral."
His words were met with stunned silence. Being Pokemon, they had never had a mother or father themselves, but they knew that a mother was like a female trainer for human children, responsible for caring for and raising them. They all knew how much it would hurt if Ash died and could only imagine how Ash must have felt at that moment.
"Where is he now?" Greninja asked. It was the first time he'd spoken all day.
"He went out a few hours ago," Pikachu replied. "He hasn't come back since."
Greninja stood up and started for the door.
"Hey, where are you going?" Talonflame called.
"To find Ash and talk to him," Greninja replied without looking back.
"But what if he doesn't want to see anyone?" Noivern pointed out.
"I don't care. I need to do this. Pikachu, can you tell the others where I've gone in case they get worried?"
"Will do, but I should go with you."
"I'm sorry Pikachu, but I need to talk to him on my own."
"Oh. I understand."
"Thanks."

Ash kicked a rock towards a tree, listening to the satisfying crack as it broke against the bark.
He hated them. Every last one of them. Absolutely, positively and without a single doubt hated. Their. Guts.
Please accept my sincerest expressions of sympathy.
Sincerest expressions, yeah right. She was just the police officer of Pallet Town. All she did was drive around on her stupid motorcycle, chasing down criminals and locking them up. She knew nothing about him or his family, so her sympathy was nothing but a big joke.
I'm sorry. I forgot to mail this two weeks ago. Please forgive my error in judgement, Ash.
Ha, as if he'd ever believe that. No one forgot to tell someone their mother had died unless they didn't give a crap about said person. So Professor Oak had shown his true colors. Well, no matter. He'd just take his Pokemon from him and leave. It wasn't like there was anything left for him there anyway.
Ash started laughing. He didn't know why, as there was nothing remotely funny about the situation, but he did anyway.
Laughing felt better than crying, at any rate.

A heavy rain began to fall. Greninja quickened his pace, knowing that if he didn't find Ash soon, the boy would probably die of pneumonia or drown. Was it even possible to drown in the rain? He hoped not.
And then he found him, shivering and freezing but otherwise all right, sitting on a fallen tree. He looked up in surprise when he saw Greninja. Greninja stopped, stunned at the expression in his trainer's eyes. The normally bright, energetic hazel eyes were dull and lifeless, with a hint of despair in them. Here, before Greninja, was the embodiment of everything no one ever wanted to experience. It hurt him to see Ash like this.
"How did you find me?" Ash asked.
It wasn't hard. He was always aware of Ash's presence, after all.
"Gren. Ninja," he said softly, nudging Ash's shoulder gently.
"My mother died," Ash said bitterly, kicking at the dirt. "And no one told me until after her funeral. I didn't even get to pay my last respects."
Greninja looked at his trainer sympathetically. Ash glanced over at him and sighed.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"
"Ninja ja," Greninja replied quietly. I do, actually. I might not have a mother, but I do understand.
"But why did you come?" Ash asked. "You must be freezing. And it must have taken you ages to find me."
Well no, not really. I am a water-type, after all. And I came because you needed someone.
Ash seemed to understand. "Well, thanks anyway," he said, relaxing slightly. He looked at Greninja, a shadow passing over his face, before adding, "You know, what I said before still stands. If you want to leave-"
"Ninja," Greninja interrupted, shaking his head.
Ash looked a little taken aback. "No?" he repeated. "But I figured...."
Yes, I know what you thought. And I'll admit you had good reason. But I'm not going anywhere. Because I want to become stronger with you. I didn't choose you as a trainer because I was bored at the lab, you know. And I know we can figure out this synchronization thing. We just need to understand each other better.
Of course, Ash wasn't psychic and couldn't hear his thoughts. However, something of them must have shown on his face, for Ash gave him a small smile and nodded.
"All right, then," he said. It was all he said. It was all he needed to say.

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