I stared at the bleach on the bathroom sink. My eyes were dry because my tears had run out. My hair, which was usually always laid was a tangled mess.
I couldn't see past my today. I tried hard, super hard to see what tomorrow held, and all I got was blackness.
It had been two days since I got the news. Shep hadn't even did so much as call.
I have never felt this alone in my life. I wanted to tell K. Even Anais. My parents. My brothers, but I couldn't face the harsh judgments they would have toward me.
And the coldness in which Shep met me, with him even knowing a possibility, was not the Shep I had known. All those words. All those tears. All those promises. The I love yous, yada, yada, I was starting to see were only convenient in the moment.
They say once you have sex with a guy he changes. They forgot to add that once you have an unexpected baby, they don't just change, they turn into a whole unrecognizable person.
But I am not going to have any more pity for myself. I'm going to take action. The bleach would solve all of this, since I had no money for an abortion.
I grabbed it. Stared at it. Closed my eyes to summon all the courage I had, and was about to put it to my lips, when the door opened.
"T T Anna, Clifford." Livy walked in with a cup of juice.
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She was reminding me of our daily Clifford date.
"One moment sweetie. Okay?" I told her.
"Unh-unh. Now." She demanded.
"Okay. Give me a sec sweetie." I ushered her out and closed the door.
I slowly fell down the door and broke down.
"What you doing right here?" Livy I heard O ask her outside the door.
"T T Anna." She answered.
I quickly got up and wiped my eyes.
I opened the door.
"We were about to watch Clifford." I grabbed Livy and quickly went to my room.
O stood at my door a minute, while I cut the tv on for Livy and helped her in my bed.
"Your weave starting to look like Halle Berry wig at the Oscars."
