Shadowed

Chapter 41

As soon as both my feet were safely planted on the wooden floorboards of my room I slammed my door shut and sank to the floor. I breathed a big sigh my head in my hands, and my tumble of dark curling hair draping down over my knees and curtaining around me. My life seemed like an ever spiraling whirl of madness. There was never a time when I felt completely …well normal. Not a single moment where I wasn’t dealing with one thing or another, and it seemed in the midst of it all I was losing myself. I could almost feel myself being molded and changed by all the different situations I’d found myself in since I arrived here.  My personality was changing and I wasn’t sure that I liked that.

It was one of those moments when, you don’t feel quite right. You feel like something is missing, and that you’re not really you without it.

I need to be alone for a bit. To just…gather myself together.

I sat on my bedroom floor my back against the door my eyes clamped shut as I focused on relaxing myself so I could grab onto what little bits of real ‘me’ that seemed to have gone astray. But so much was flying about my head I couldn’t grasp onto a single thought.

I can’t even fricking THINK!

I slammed my fists on the floor either side of my knees angrily and glared up at the ceiling. As the seconds ticked by I could feel myself getting more and more frustrated with myself.

“EURRH!” I yelled angrily banging my head against my door.

My jaw clenched with determination  I leapt to my feet and stormed over to my wardrobe snatching a pair of loose lightweight black cotton pants, and a red sports bra. I stripped my clothes of as fast as I could and pulled on the cotton pants and sports bra.  There was only one way I was going to be able to clear my head, and that was in the basement with the punching bags and the heavy workout equipment.  I pulled on a new pair of trainers and jumped to my feet, and was out the door after snatching up a hair tie. Briskly walking down the hall I gathered up my mane of tousled hair up into a high pony tail , and then stomped down the metal steps to the basement loudly the sound resonating off the walls. 

 My jaw was still stubbornly clenched as I strode towards the nearest black punch bag, ignoring the lone figure sitting on the bench watching me.

I snarled angrily as I swung my right fist at the black bag, the chains rattling above. My feet were already in fighting stance both knees bent , and my fists raised up to eye level. I launched another fist at the bag followed by a roundhouse kick which caused the bag to swing violently.  I was vaguely aware of the figure on the bench moving, but I stayed concentrated on the kicks and punches I was throwing at the bag. Punch after punch, kick after kick, sweat beginning to bead on my forehead and my wrists beginning to ache. My breathing was heavy as I swung my last punch at the bag and dropped my numb fists to my side watching the bag sway side to side. The bag slowly came to a stop and I let out a sigh resting my forehead on it’s cool surface.

My heart gave a small jump as the figure appeared next to me. “Here.” He said handing me a bottle of water. I nodded in thanks taking the bottle out of his hand . Caleb’s hazel eyes watched me as I slung back the water thirstily. “You okay now?” He asked with a grin.

I gave a weak smile. “I’ll live.” Caleb smiled his dimples appearing on his cheeks.

“See you’ve got some move there.” He teased grinning.

A loud laugh bubbled out of my mouth before I could stop it. “Pahh yeah… right!” I smiled  shutting the cap of the bottle. 

“No I’m serious.” He laughed holding his hands up in defense. “But next time you might want to put on some wraps on.”