Beastiful || Completed||

Forty Five

Sasha's throat felt raw as she regained consciousness. Her head ached and her limbs felt incredibly heavy as a gagging sensation overcame her. She leaned to her side and dry heaved.

The constant beeping of the machine annoyed her and so did the feel of the IV needle piercing her skin.
All of a sudden, her eyes flew open as she realized she was alive. She was alive and she wasn't supposed to be. Bewilderment filled her as she took in her surroundings. She was in a blank hospital room that was thankfully empty.

She rested her aching head back on the pillow. Why? She didn't want to be alive. After all the effort to die, it felt crappy to be dragged back to face the worries and pain that had led to her decision in the first place.

Couldn't they just let her make her own choices?

Tears rolled sideways and trickled past her ears, tickling her slightly. She felt horrible inside. Memories of her entire ordeal went through her and she felt the raw stab of betrayal from Jeremy once more. Tears of self pity morphed into tears of despair and she began to sob deeply and desperately.

She didn't want to live like this anymore. She didn't want to look like this anymore . She didn't want to be betrayed by those she trusted implicitly. She was tired of the sly bullying, the insults, the weird looks, of everything. She just wanted out.

As she turned over to her side, a nurse rushed in.

"Miss Stewart, are you okay?"
The woman fussed around her, trying to fluff and her pillows and handed her a box of tissues.

Sasha ignored her and continued to cry. When the lady attempted to feel her temperature, Sasha snapped.

"Just leave me the fuck alone! A person can't die without you guys interfering, now you want to mess up my crying? Leave me alone!" She managed to croak out. Her throats felt raw and painful as she managed to get her point across.

However, the nurse just shook her head and smiled kindly.

"Darling, you're on suicide watch. I can't leave you alone, especially when you're awake. Now, stop crying dear and have a tissue."

Sasha stared at the box being handed over to her before slapping it out of the nurse's hands so that it flew to the other side of the hospital room. It made a satisfying thump as it hit the wall.

"Leave me alone."

"No can do, dearie." The nurse hustled to retrieve the battered box.

Sasha sighed. "Your presence won't stop me from doing it if I'm really determined."

The nurse was quiet for a while, before pressing a small call button.

"What? What does the button do? Am I going to be taken into special care?" Sasha scoffed.

"Your family was pretty devastated when they brought you here yesterday."

Sasha sank back into the bed. She had forgotten. She had forgotten about how impossible it would be to deal with her family in such a situation. What do you tell your mom after attempting suicide? Sorry?

She imagined how horrible they all felt. They'd be thinking it was their fault but really they had nothing to do with it. Except Sylvie.

An older man hurried in. He had a clipboard in hand and kind grey eyes.

"Hey there, Sasha. How do you feel?"

"Leave me alone."

"You may feel a little soreness now but don't worry that because of the tube we had to force down your throat to get your stomach pumped. You're lucky to be alive."