I never want to say goodbye; a John Laurens x Reader

Chapter 6

I see worry come across John's face. I know this can't be good.
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(Y/N)'s POV

     I look at John. 'I wonder why he's freaking out' I think. Time to explain to the guys that my boyfriend is Thomas Jefferson.

     "Well, are you going to explain, cheri?" Laf says, getting impatient. I see John glare at Laf. Laf just smirks back at him. How come whenever Laf calls me "dear" or another pet name John gets mad at him? Does he like me? I hope so. (Y/N)! YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND! Oh yeah I'm supposed to be explaining that.

      "My boyfriend is Thomas Jefferson" I tell them all. Everyone gasps. I see pain on Laf's face. I wonder why. "THAT ASSHAT IS YOUR BOYFRIEND!?" Alex yells. Well I know who has a grudge against Thomas. "Alex calm down. You have to remember that his girlfriend is (Y/N)" Herc tells him. "It's fine Herc. And yes, Jefferson is my boyfriend" I say. "Though I don't want him to be" I mutter under my breath, hoping nobody hears me. Just to my luck, everyone hears me.

     "Wait what? Why don't you want him to be your boyfriend?" Herc asks. "Yeah (Y/N). Why not?" John asks me. I notice that he's suddenly more cheerful. "Well one, like Alex said, he's an asshat that only cares about himself" I start. I pause. I know I'm going to regret what I'm about to say. "Two I think I have feelings for someone else..." I trail off. Everyone is staring at me. "What do you mean?" Alex asks me. "Don't get me wrong I still have some feelings for Thomas, he's my first boyfriend" I get cut off my someone yelling. It's John.

      "HOW HAVE YOU NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND BEFORE THOMAS YOU'RE HO-t..." and he falls silent. I start blushing and so does he. "I don't know John, people don't think I'm attractive enough to date...." I say, tears welling up. I feel a pair of arms wrap around me. Then two. Then three. I soon have four people hugging me. "But you are attractive, mon ami" I hear Lafayette say. "Thanks, but according to everyone else, I'm not" I say with tears streaming down my face. Memories suddenly hit me like a train.

Flashback

I'm walking home alone in the pouring rain crying. My best friend had started dating the kid I had a crush on. She was the only person I told, and she started dating him. I was broken. He had told me I wasn't as cute as (B/F/N). I didn't want to talk to anyone. I locked myself in my room and just cried. I found one of my dad's razors and cut. When I showed up to school the next day I noticed my friend, Angelica, looking at my arm. I quickly turned it toward me. Later she asks me why I did it. I tell her. Everything started going downhill that year.

Flashback end

     After remembering everything, I look down at my arm. The scars are still there. I break down even more and I almost forget that everyone is there. "(Y/N), what's wrong?" John asks me sweetly. "I'll explain to you later, but only you" I mumble. He nods.

     "Anyway...... who do you have- how you say- feelings for?" Laf says wiggling an eyebrow. I forgot I said that. "I'll tell only you that.... later" I tell him. "Okay" he says with disappointment in his voice. I giggle at him. "Okay so back to the topic of Jefferson, why do you guys all hate him?" I ask the group.

     "He hates everything I do and disagrees with everything I say for no reason" Alexander bitterly exclaims. "He makes fun of me because I sew" Herc says tearing up. "Hold up. You can sew!?" I ask him excitedly. "Yeah I can, I used to work as a tailor's apprentice" he says, a little more excited. "Laf why do you hate him?" I ask the Frenchman.

     "He hates me, so I hate him back. Also, he cusses me out and calls me names in French" he says, trying not to get angry and failing miserably. "Wow, I never knew Thomas was this much of a dick, but I still have feelings for him."

Lafayette's POV

     I wish I could tell (Y/N) what Jefferson had told me. But if I did, she'd be even more upset. I saw the scars on her arm, but apparently nobody else did. She obviously doesn't want anyone to know about it so I don't bring it up. Instead, I start a new conversation.

     "So are any of you going the dance tomorrow night?" I ask all of them. "There's a dance?" (Y/N) asks back. "Yeah, the school is hosting a dance for the beginning of the year" I tell her. "Well it sounds like fun, I'll go if you guys go, especially if John goes" She says smiling, almost as a taunt to John. I see John turn bright red.

     "Well I guess we're all going" Alex says. Everyone nods their heads in agreement. "Well I need clothes, anyone wanna go to the mall with me? We can all go to the movies" (Y/N) states. "Also, I'm going to invite the Schuyler sisters, so they might be there Alex." How does she know about Alex's crush? Maybe Eliza knows and told (Y/N)? Either way, we were all going to be at the mall, and Alex was going to be a stuttering mess.