rivals | colby brock ✔️

fifty.

A/N: I never thought the day would come, where I would have written fifty chapters of a book that I made because I was, and still am, obsessed with a boy with blue eyes. Colby Brock, thank you bitch for being you;) 

& WTF 50K+ READS? JESUS CHRIST I LOVE YOU PEOPLE WHO LIKE THIS BOOK. idk whats going through ur brains tho bc this book is trash but ok fifty reads on chapter fifty.

enjoy, ily all! <3

My heart thumping, my fingers tingling, what is this feeling?

No, it's not like the feeling I get when Colby and I kiss, or the feeling of disappointment when Colby reaches for Ellie's hand, or the soul shattering clutch that I got when Sam was injured. 

I have no idea what this is, and I am pretty determined to figure it out soon. 

Five days ago, Colby arrived, for some bizarre reason, on my couch, after I had a day to myself with my friend, Malia. 

And he said something that I knew was completely sarcastic, but sent me chills. 

Love you too. 

Yeah, he was joking, but...I don't know about how I felt after; I didn't feel right.

But that was just on top of what I was already feeling from these past weeks.

All my emotions are building up to one super emotion.

And I have no idea what this super emotion is. 

I lay here in the middle of my bed, on top of my covers, doing practically nothing these past days with this lost feeling that I can't describe. 

Fourth of July just passed and it hurt when Colby, Ellie, and I went to Corey's Fourth of July party without Sam. 

Is this the feeling of only being lost when Sam isn't around?

Does that even make sense? 

I sulk, in a corner of my own self pity, listening to the cliche love songs of our terrible generation through my bright yellow earbuds. 

These earbuds are too happy for me. 

Jesus, I'm such a loner when alone. 

But I'm not complaining, I feel at ease when I have no contact to anyone. 

I've been MIA, man. 

The only person who has been checking up on me is Ellie, nobody else. I love her for that, but she doesn't need to care or watch over me, I'm okay. 

I'm fine. 

I hear a knock on my door. 

"Ash?" 

I lift my head a little from my pillow to see Ellie standing before me, "Oh, I was just thinking about you."

She gives a small smile, but her once cheery expression was then darkened by her eyes of worry. "Ashlyn, you've been in your room, eating only cereal, for the past five days."

"I didn't eat cereal at Corey and Devyn's party," I lamely defend, sighing. 

She slowly comes to sit by my feet on the edge of my mattress, "But still, you barely socialized at that party and only stood by yourself in the corner of the crowded rooms, watching over everyone who was having fun. Now you're here, being all depressed for some reason. Did something go down before, during, or after the party? Or what happened when you went back to LA? Did your manager or something drop some bomb on you?"