Die Trying

Good Advice

"So," I say super annoyed at this point. "I am not allowed to leave this room and, you will not leave this room. Not even when I am sleeping."

"Yep that is pretty much exactly what is happening," James said looking smug with the rules that Prince Harry had laid out.

"This is such crap. I don't want a roommate. No, wait this is going to be more like the situation I had with my brothers." I grab fist fulls of hair and yank walking fast around my room.

"What situation with your brothers?" I drop my arms back to my sides and squint at him. My mind is screaming two different things at me at once. The logical side is telling me that any information about my past could be used as a weapon. The other part of me is yelling that I can't take the world on my own and I will need people to trust me and I might as well start with James because that would be a big blow to the crown if the head of security took my side.

I bit my lip then sat back onto my bed next to James. "Right before the selection I went into my room and was about to go to sleep but I saw a man in my window and I got out of my room as fast as I could and went straight to my brothers. They wanted to take turns guarding me and I told them no but they insisted and well... We challenged each other," I smile at the memory laughing a bit. "I would have won too, but my oldest brother John is the best at thinking outside the box." I felt tears fight to come to the surface and I tried as hard as I could but I just couldn't stop one from rolling out along my face. I quickly moved my head so he couldn't see the tear that stained my face with salt. I raised my hand to wipe it away but he laid his hand on my arm and I turned my head in surprise. Then I quickly turned it again remembering the tear.

"You know it is okay to cry. Right?" He asked his hand still on my arm. I used my other hand and wiped the tear away and then I took a breath to steady my voice and bring it back to my normal tone without any wavering in it whatsoever.

"Just like there are no friends in war there are no tears in me because like a war I am going to change everything. I can't afford to be weak or wrong when I am the only chance- never mind."

"You are wrong. There are friends in war. That is why people fight in the wars to protect friends and loved ones. That is why it hurts so much when a soldier falls in battle. I don't know what war you are fighting but I know that you are going to lose if you think like that."