Die Trying

The Book Room

The thing about me if you haven't figured this out yet is I never tell anyone the whole truth about anything. I am one big ball of half told secrets. The thing is I have always needed something to do. Books, well... Books have never truly interested me but just walking into that room I couldn't help but wanting to crack a few open. Why you may ask? Well this room was huge and full of them. There were tall books, small books, fat books skinny books, green, yellow, orange, and so many more.

I walk along the shelves and feel the spines of the books I pass until one catches my attention. It was a larger book but it was a dark green with brown words. I pulled it off the shelf and frowned at how much dust there was on it. If you are going to have a book room the least you could do is take care of it. Blowing the dust off the cover I can finally read the title.

The Tail of Botn. I flipped through the pages that held no true meaning to the story then let the words take my mind off of all of my current problems.

***

Once a child always a child, unless you let yourself grow old. Once your old can you be young again? When the world was new and the skys were always bright in color that was never the questions that were asked it was the void of happiness to think of such things. In the end tho was that life really happiness or the illusion of such?

***

I squinted at the paragraph then threw the book and groaned when it hit another shelf bringing down many other books on top of it.

"Hey! Knock that off!" Jumping up I found the owner of the voice. A tall skinny boy around my age with rats nest brown hair and crystal blue eyes. He ran strait for the mess I had made grumbling about respect and what nought.

"Look I am sorry." He paused to glare at me then turned back around.

"So why did you throw the book to begin with?" He asked still cleaning up my mess. Shrugging sheepishly I reply.

"I was getting angry, the book I was reading made no sense at all." Finally he turned around with the book I had been reading in hand. Flipping through pages, "How far did you get?" I felt my face heat up looking at how many pages he has turned.

"The first paragraph." I mumbled.

"Typical." Turning back to the beginning ignoring my annoyance at him he started to explain. "It is saying that you have a choice to have the soul of a child or to outgrow the attitude a child has towards life. Once you choose to outgrow it can you ever see through the eyes of a child again. People never ask these questions because it will ruin the little illusion of happiness they have made themselves."

"What is your name?" I ask the strange boy with the crazy hair.

"My name is Danny. And you?" He asked but looked as if he didn't really care.

"I am Melan." I say quietly but the way Danny's face shot up and how he bowed to me as he backed away let me know all that I needed to know. "Please, don't go." I say sitting on the floor not looking at him anymore but at my hands. How much blood is on my hands?

"Why did you come here?" Danny asks almost as quietly as I have been talking but for reasons completely different than mine.

Sighing I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know anymore. Originally I came here because no one would look for me in the book room but... I am lost, I don't want to be here. I can't take much more of this." I felt tears forming in my eyes so I quickly turned my head so that he couldn't see them. He cleared his throat and awkwardly patted my shoulder. Oddly enough I didn't push him away. What is happening to me?

"If you want you can hide here anytime you need to get away, and I can help you find a book that will not annoy you as much." He said giving me a small smile.

"I am not hid- okay I am hiding but do you know what is happening tomorrow?"

He bowed his head down and that was answer enough for me. "If you wish to you can stay here with the comfort of my books tonight m'lady. I will be in the back room if my assistance is needed." He said pointing to a tiny room in the back.

"Thank you." I mumble taking a seat at a table. Danny nods at me then retirees to the small room. I keep trying to read the book but it was so aggravating I set it down next to me and at some point I fell asleep.