The Catalyst (GirlXGirl)

Chp. 59 "Training"

Chp. 59 “Training”

After I had left Roger’s office I had felt a sense of relief in knowing what exactly happened to my dad, and that he had died fighting and protecting his country. I felt a sense of pride in him, and I felt even more proud to share his DNA and be his daughter.

I wanted to make him proud even though I had never met him in my entire life, and knowing I never would.

As I wandered around the facility I wondered where Avery was at this moment. I didn’t want to see her, and I especially didn’t want to talk to her. Not right now anyway. I was still highly upset and hurt, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to ignore her forever.

My heart was torn, because I was in love with her, but I felt completely betrayed by her. How could she hide something like that from me? How could she lie to me for that long, and not slip up and accidently reveal something? And what else could she by lying to me about?

The feeling of betrayal sucked in general, but when it was from someone you truly cared about, well it only multiplied. The feeling was always there, no matter how far I tried to push it back in my mind. It was haunting me, and it was overtaking me and wearing me down. I wanted an explanation, but I wanted nothing to do with Avery, simply because I didn’t want to hurt her if I saw her.

And I knew I would if I did.

Just thinking about her made my blood bubble, and I knew it was a very bad sign. I knew I couldn’t see her yet, at least not in the next 24 hours. I needed space from her to try and sort these feelings out in my head.

I took the elevator to my room, not wanting to deal with anyone for the rest of the day. I just wanted to be alone, and to figure everything out.

I made it silently to my room, passing Avery’s door and staring at it, wondering if she was in there. A part of me wanted to knock, but the other was telling me no, that seeing her wasn’t what I needed. I needed time, and I needed space from her, even though my heart missed her, my brain knew better.

I ignored the thought of knocking on her door and let myself into my room, locking the door behind me and walking into the emptiness of it. I felt pretty alone, and I knew it was because of Avery, but I had to keep reminding myself I wasn’t.

I wasn’t alone, right?

I still had Max and Gage, and Roger… but I knew deep down the one person I really wanted by my side.

And that person probably only pretended to be everything I wanted, just so she could gain my trust.

~ ~ ~ ~

The annoying sound of my alarm clock pulled me out of sleep, almost startling me. I had been having a nightmare about Avery, and when I sat up in my room I realized it was just a dream.

I glanced at the clock that read 7:00 AM, and I remembered suddenly what I had planned today.