The Royal Marriage

Fears

(QING)

Like I said to Dayu, I refused to sit by my grandmother even when my mother went out of the ICU. Instead, my father went inside the ICU again to accompany GrandMa.

I can't say the exact reason why I don't want to go inside the ICU to see her. All I know is that my whole being is rebelling with the thought of seeing my grandmother lying on a hospital bed with machines monitoring her.

And her not being awake.

So I stayed my post beside the door. My mind empty and full at the same time. I don't feel numb but I can't seem to show any emotion on my face. I feel so much yet I don't know how to express them.

So I grew quiet.

When the next morning came, doctors gathered us again in a room, the five of us. The King, the Queen, Baozang, Dayu and I to give another update on my grandmother's health.

"Her vitals are slowly establishing. We will keep her in the ICU for the time being..."

"What about treatment on her?" My father asked. "That raptured vein that caused her stroke..."

"We cannot operate on her," the doctor in charge said straightly.

"What?" I cannot believe in what I just heard. "What do you mean..."

"She is too weak for a surgery. If we put her under the knife in her condition, there is a 95% chance that she will not make it out of the operation room alive." The doctor explained.

I felt the room grew more cold after that explanation.

"Then what can you do for my mother in law?" My mother asked.

The team of doctors looked at each other first before turning on us again, "We can keep her comfortable..."

"Are you saying you cannot do anything for her?" My father reacted fast while I was still stunned at what I heard.

The doctor in charge reluctantly nodded. "We cannot operate on her, it will kill her, your Majesty. Her condition, though improving, is not a guarantee that it can pull all through for her to recover. She is in a coma, if ever she woke up, she will surely feel the effect of the stroke. We don't know the extent of the damage that stroke did to her. Maybe she will be able to move or...not...we will not be sure until the Queen Dowager woke up. But as of now, even our specialists agreed, all we can do is make things as comfortable to her as possible..."

I felt my body moving to turn and kick the nearest thing to me, which is a metal chair. It was pushed back by a few feet away.

"Wang Qing!" My mother exclaimed and cry while Dayu hugged me.

I turned to the doctors again, "Are you saying she can die? Without us doing anything...?!"

"Your Highness," the doctors bow to me. I want to strangle them all. I don't want them to bow at me. What I want them to do is make my grandmother well again.

And I told them that. In a shouting voice. "Don't bow to me! Do something for her!!!"

"Wang Qing," my father came to me to push me away. Baozang started sobbing as well. Dayu drag me away from everyone. "Stop! That is not helping her. You are just agitating yourself..."

"Did you hear them?" I asked Dayu while pointing at the doctors. "They cannot do anything! Why are we here then? Huh? Why are we still here if they cannot help GrandMa?!" I am screaming at him.

"They are helping her!" Dayu shouted back at me. He captured my face, "We are helping her! Wang Qing!" He tightened his hold on my face when I try to move away. "Are we giving up? Are we? Are you throwing these angry fits because you have given up?! Huh?!" Dayu pushed me away. "Man up! Fuck!" He turn away from me. "Stop acting like a child and man up! We are not giving up. We can ask more doctors to come to check her out. More specialists! We have money! Fuck..." he started sobbing.