Thoughts

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"Do you wanna help me make sandwiches?"

Stephanie can still remember the way her face screwed up when Beth approached her in the early morning, asking if she was up to help make some food. She pondered for a moment at the time - there had to be a catch. Or maybe Beth was just trying to be friendly. They hadn't talked much since the group arrived. It's not like Stephanie had spent one on one time with anyone other than members from her own group.

She'd helped Beth out before, with extra laundry - but someone else always tagged along, like Erik or even Caitlin.

For the most part that Stephanie spent time with Beth, making sandwiches as well as small talk, she truly thought it was because Beth was trying to get to know her better. But then it happened. That catch she was wondering about earlier.

"Can you tell Phin to stop by my room later?"

Stephanie frowned, is this blonde fucking serious? she could practically picture her subconscious, standing under the doorway to the dining room with their head hung low. Stephanie thought about it for a minute, the two had gotten awfully close over the passing weeks. So, it doesn't explain why she wants him to stop by her room. Stephanie kicked her subconscious into oblivion before turning to the younger girl, who had been staring at her the entire time.

"How...how about you stop by his tent?"

-

Stephanie sat on the edge of Jazzmin's bed. Caitlin had finally agreed to take a shower, it was long due - and she smelt horrible. Stephanie could understand where she was coming from, the reason why she hadn't showered since they first arrived, she just didn't dare take her eyes off her bedridden friend.

It was getting dark out. Rick's group had retreated to their tents, after yet another meal of gamey venison. The remaining Greene's tucked themselves away too, but no one was really asleep, just busying themselves and trying to pass the time. Stephanie could spot Phin's tent from one of the windows downstairs, on her way up, he was still awake with the lantern on.

Jazzmin was asleep, not unconscious anymore. Her wound was still tender, still red and healing, but with each passing second she was getting stronger. It would only be a matter of days when she could start walking again. Maybe not her own, but if it meant she was up and at em' then it didn't matter in the long run.

"So much has happened while you've been asleep." Stephanie started, craning her head to look at the other girl. Tendrils of brown hair sprawled out on the creme coloured pillow beneath her head. Stephanie was thankful for the almost loving treatment. The bed was soft, and the sheets felt like silk under her fingers. This was probably first bed Jazzmin had slept in since the world decided to self destruct. It was the first time in such a long time, for all of them.

Erik opted to sleep outside with Phin, cooped up in one of the tents Rick's group originally inhabited. But Phin opposed, saying something about the how she'd deserved to sleep on an actual bed after all the shit she'd been put through. Erik didn't put up a fight, and when she alerted Maggie about her nightmares, the older woman offered her comfort anytime. Still, Erik ran off to Phin's tent when her trauma plagued dreams decided to come knocking at her door.

"I don't feel like much of a leader, anymore." Stephanie sighed, her train of thought only halting for a second before the engine started roaring again. Her mind wondered back to the other day, when Shane practically pulled Erik along like a dog on a leash - that fucker. When the older man started talking about potentially dragging Erik into the city, he was asking trouble whether or whether not it was written all over his face. Phin could smell bullshit from a mile away as he voiced his personal opinion, rejecting Shane's idea and putting his foot down.

"I wonder if the others would agree, if I put in Phin in charge." Running a hand through her hair, Stephanie let out another sigh. She would get the group to come together, in private, when Erik arrived home. She's got to come home, in one piece.

-

"You're still awake?"

Beth turned her head towards the familiar voice. It was Maggie, standing underneath the doorway, she leaned against the frame with her arms over her chest.

"Can't sleep." Beth responded, motioning to the notebook in her lap, and the various colouring pencils scattered near her pillow.

She was sitting on the edge of her bed, the lamp on her bedside table being the only light to illuminate the room. Flaxen coloured hair in a neat bun.
She was still in her usual attire just like her sister, she didn't feel the need to slip into any night attire - it'd only her make her remember the past, and she didn't want to fill her head with anymore overwhelming thoughts.

The walls were decorated will all sorts of pictures, some doodles - most likely made in her classes, in school, before the world dropped a nuclear bomb on itself. She didn't have the heart to take them down.

"Did you have something to eat?" Maggie asked, causing Beth to look up again.

"There was some spam." Beth shivered at the aftertaste. If the dead weren't roaming the street, and the desire for any type of food wasn't so important, Beth would've skipped out on a can of spam any day.

"Spam?" Maggie furrowed her eyebrows "Rick's group had managed to score themselves some deer. They were handing it out, being super generous, why didn't you grab some?"

"I wasn't so keen on having deer meat, so I stuck with the spam." Beth lied. That's not the real reason girl, and you know it.

Beth was lying through her teeth. But Maggie didn't seem to mind, or notice. It was only Beth and her troubling subconscious that knew the real reason she skipped out on the kind offer. It was Carl who came inside and recommended that Beth tried venison. He went out on about it being the closest thing that resembled steak, and Beth listened on their way out, her mouth watering at just the scent. It's when she spotted Phin, and his hardened expression as he bit into a piece of the meat, that she realised he was royally pissed off. She could only imagine it was because Erik wasn't back with the others, yet. Self control was something she'd never grasped and she knew very well that if she were to join the others, she'd try crawl up Phin's ass and annoy the shit out of him. To point where'd he'd potentially snap and retreat back to his tent.

So she made a beeline back to the house and blurted out something about spam.

Not only had she come to terms with how easily pissed off he could become, she also channeled the realisation that she was far too young for him. Sure, he had to be only a few years older - but what would the others think? Maggie would throw a temper tantrum, and Hershel would start a storm for sure.

It's like the world had somehow grown fingers, and were pointing them directly at her, in a menacing matter. She didn't even realise she had feelings for him. Not until they were up on that hill, and he'd offered - to stop her whining, a chance to show her true potential. And she did, and it was great. He believed in her more than anyone else. Sure, he could be angry and cold, but there was this other side. A much more nicer and calmer side, a fun side.

The fact he was willing to give her a couple more shooting lessons didn't help. She smiled at the thought.

"What're you thinking about?" Beth become aware that Maggie was still present, by the sound of her voice. The smile from her face dropped as she craned her head.

"Nothing, I think I'm gonna go to bed." Maggie nodded, a quiet "Goodnight" leaving her lips as she shut the door behind her. You're gonna sneak out to see him aren't you? Beth ignored her conscious. Telling herself that the real reason she was planning to set foot outside was for fresh air, because she was worrying about Hershel and the others - which was partially true.

She wanted to know if Phin felt the same way, or if it was a "no strings attached" situation.

-P

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