The Undead

Deeper Then Being Below.

Comforting tingles sent through Erik's hand, It wasn't easy to ignore. Opening her eyes to the life around her as she sat across the room , out of her body an amongst those living. Seeing herself out of her body and figure next to the unconscious personage , she reached out to them.

Her hand went through them like a ghost, was she a ghost?, As he whispered words she forgot who this person was but he seemed so recognisable , like she'd seen him some place else. She tried calling out, trying to get this guy's attention. Thinking so hard, why he was here?

Who is this man? So much thought went into this simple question, as to why she couldn't remember him.

"Please, come back, I love you." Was all she could hear beneath the whimpering and painful sobs he tried to hold back wiping his salty tears away. He failed to do so, he placed his head next to my hand , I felt his touch.

The only warmth in my body as though everything else was cold. Those words, "I love you", playback in my mind on repeat. Why did this man love me? His face so pale and skinny, scrawny. Placing a kiss on the knuckles of my small fetus looking hands and said just one thing. "I forgive you. Even though you couldn't forgive yourself. I forgive you."

And then I felt a pull, tied on a thick rope of sentimentality it lunged at me,  it's force so strong, even resisting it's pull would be stupid. "I forgive you, and I'll forgive you over and over again till my heart stops beating. Just please for the love of god , come back to me before I go crazy." His voice making the rope pull at me tighter. "Your my strength, my weakness, my happiness, my sadness. Sanity, wake up." He asked her with so much passion in his words.

And as though it felt like a ticking bomb exploded Erik felt everything, all at once.

His sad kiss, the names of those who loved me. The memories of July 4th, Brooke's birthday , Beetlejuice and Phin. The beautiful rustic boy who sat next to her at lunchtimes in high school because she was too afraid and shy, too buried into a book to be called beautiful or asked to prom, bullied . Phin, my best friend .

And like a brittle twig, snapped everything felt right, in place. Like a jigsaw puzzle in 1000+ pieces.

Even though you didn't know how to get back to him you thought and realized what you did to become like this.

"My baby, my wall being. " Realizing those around you hurt. Damaged, fragile souls, meaningful and so far away but so close to touch. It really didn't make sense , none of this did.

She cried watching everyone around her, visiting and staring at her waiting for a sign of hope. Even Carol prayed beside her bed.

Hey there god.
If there is even a god.
My friend her need Some strength, so it would be great if you could lend her some. I know I'm not a pro at this, but I appreciate what you do so. Yes.

Now, we all knew Carol wasn't and isn't religious and I don't think she even is. But her prayer gave me a little inspiration of hope. Apparent in my heart was a little guilt that wasn't there before, Erik wanted to hug her best friend, talk to Shane and hug Rick.

Rick was and is a father to her, he's always treated her like a daughter he never got to have. Erik loves Rick with everything she's got an would take a bullet for anyone she cares about without hesitation. No matter he cost, just do it.

But even though she had to endure the memories, as though it was punishment she had to learn.

Moral of the fact is, When you leave you remember all the things you love. And what once was great is now sad. But because you can't have it , it makes you feel isolated and alone.

Realizing your life without certain people is deflating . Authentication is necessary , living, breathing, feeling , touching and seeing it's life.

When Phin stood to leave he didn't want to turn back around to see lifeless unconsciousness begging to take her from her father into the depths of his nightmare.