This is my Dream.

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Fresh crisp air, sitting, lurking around me like translucent water.  Inhale and Exhale, the only words I know right the only things I know how to do which aren't so extreme. I know had to walk, run, jump and even use my senses. I feel warm like a trickle of sun dropped down my face, I can touch my warm skin, and smell the freshness in their air. Clean and pure, I see the sky painted with watercolors of pastel blues and all sorts. The trees are green and its bark is brown, swaying effortlessly in the breeze. I see flowers surrounding me like a herd and flocks of birds fly above me. I am secluded amongst the wild and life of nature, its trees, plants, and creatures.  I don't feel scared or pressured. I don't hear screaming of those who lay dying in their deathbeds. I don't smell the fire burning the bodies of friends and family.  I do not see the rotten corpses who run and chase after those whose beating hearts still contain their soul. 

I know this is a dream. A dream I wish were real, no pain no sufferage and hurt. No more bloodshed and hunger. No reason to be greedy or use excuses for bad, to leave or disappear. It is happy, I am happy this is happy and you should be happy.  I can be happy if only this was real.

The smell of pancakes whiffed up my nose, the image of a mother, not my mother although it looked like her. Wearing a dark red button-up blouse tucked into a black pencil skirt. Her hair pulled back tightly into a bun with a fake smile stitched onto her face and the thought in my mind was; Your not my mother.

The image of Phin standing smartly dressed up in a suit, holding a briefcase. Your not my Phin.

A dream where, Stephanie was not smart looking, but casually sitting amongst the flower beds, Jazzmin and Caitlin smiling not speaking. As for where my sisters and father, Brooke, last but not least Brooke. Sitting fragile but strongly Brooke smiling her smile so optimistic and free. This is not my Brooke, not my Stephanie, Not my Jazzmin or Caitlin nor my family. And this is why I know now it's just a plain dream or a perfect world.

But I know it's not really perfect, it's delusional and incapable, it's actually twisted and broken up. Like shattered glass and cheap glue sticking it together for only one second. Don't think I don't know what this actually means.

I'll wake up, I'll wake up pleased and wondering. I see the people around that I love and smile like I actually am happy. But in fact, I won't be. I'll be afraid and disappointed. Fake a disapproved, it cant be helped and niether can I. I can only stay here, right now and appreciate this for as long as I can.Because soon it will be gone, and I won't be happy.




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