The Undead

Don't Write Me Up, Bucket Boy.

"Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it." ~John Lennon

Erik's POV

It was just after supper.

Shane sat at the end of the table with a sad smile on his face, his eyes ridden with guilt and fear. I sauntered over the table glaring at him with a snarky smile and devil eyes, Lori also at the table. Apparently, she wanted to have a "civil conversation." to make amends, "Look, we thought Rick was dead, it was a one-time thing." Shane confessed, "It was a mistake." Lori concluded. Silence. They both stared at me with sadness in their eyes but their body showed fear with the way they folded their arms, crossing their legs to close themselves off. Another 5 minutes of silence was endured and yet I sat sipping on a glass of water and staring at both of them with no regrets and confidence. 

"Did it feel good?" Shane looked at me confused, " Did you feel accomplished?" Lori opened her mouth but quickly closed it scared to say something. "Did the lie fill you up so much that you needed me to keep you from falling?" I stood up leaning down over the table my hands lightly slammed onto the edges of the table, my water slightly spilling, my head cocked over to the side, "Was on your bucket as number one; pity girl to fuck over?" "It wasn't like that-" Shane confronted, "I am so sorry." "Save it" I turned my back on them walking to my room to take rest. "Night."

Nightfall happened so quickly, I wash my body the hot liquid running down my fragile fat figure and a pregnant bump now forming on me. I brush my teeth and get out of the shower drapping a rustic brown towel around me. "Fuck." I breathed out feeling tired already, I dry myself off quickly my wet hair dripping down my neck and shoulders. I rub the towel through my hair, drying away the drips of water. 

I wrap my towel around me, exiting the room appreciating that Hershel has a bathroom as part of his room. I pull on my black plain garments and ripped up, tight like pants with an oversized cream-colored jumper that has "Forgot what I needed to forget." with black lettering cross-stitched onto the front. I tucked myself in bed, wishing for another pair of hands to hug me tight and never let me go. "I don't know whats wrong with me." I breathe out tired. I let the blackness take control of me.

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The night was dark, cold and lonely and when the morning rose I dreaded it like I dreaded school once upon ago. I rose up around sunrise once again and did the morning routine.
6AM-8AM was my ability to get up and do my routine. And by 8 AM I started on chores.
Throw up last nights dinner.
Change.
Grooming
Breakfast, fruit, and water.
brush teeth.
Chores 
etc
Today's choice of clothing attire was limited, as usual, ripped up blue denim jeans with a black shirt and a what used to be a white now faded grey jersey. My hair was cut back short so I was able to barely put it up in a ponytail. Chapstick and that was it, basic as. Banana and water for breakfast. Brushed my teeth and started on cleaning the house.  Making the bed, opening the curtains. Watering the plants. It reached half 9 and most of the house was up by now rubbing tired eyes and yawning. Carl peeked around the corner from where I was wiping down the kitchen benches. "I can still see you, mister." He ducked away before I could say more, I pulled out the cookie jar and handed one out to him. He took it without hesitation. 

I didn't really take likings to children really, mine was never planned. I always said if I ever wanted kids I'd adopt. I sat at the table eating away at the cookie in front of him like he never ever tried or knew what it was. It made me a question.

Would my kid do the same, act the same, know the same as I once did? 

The answer was probably yes. "You really shouldn't be working, stress can be bad for the baby's health and for your own." Lori said concerned  "Yeah, and you're going to stop me?" "If I have too."