If I'm Louder; A Harry Styles fanfic

chapter 41

He doesn’t even hear me. I must have not even said “What the” out loud. I rush upstairs to my closet, grabbing my largest duffel bag I had on hand. I throw in my clothes then go to Darcy’s room to get hers. There was no way in hell I was leaving my daughter here with him.

I zip the bag, then head over to grab sleeping Darcy. I really hated to wake her while she was sleeping, but I had to. There was no way in hell we were staying here any longer. “Shh Shh.” i coo as I lift her to my chest. She blinks rapidly then lays her head on my chest quietly. I grab her carrot then heave the duffel bag on my shoulder.

I begin walking down the stairs quietly, not wanting anyone to know I was leaving. My mind flashes back to the dream I had a few months ago.

I haul Darcy to the car. She was screaming and bawling wanting to stay, but I couldn’t leave her here with him. “Brianna, wait! Let me explain!” he yells after me as I ran out of the house with her. The tears came hard now, I didn’t bother to wipe them away. I just didn’t give a shit anymore, let him see me break down and cry.

I close Darcy’s door and walk to my side ignoring him. Harry grabs my arm making me spin towards him. “Will you just listen to me for once?!” He spats in my face. “I’m done trying to listen Harry! I’m done with your fucking shit. You promised! Not for me, but for her!” I yell at him, pointing to our crying daughter in the car.

“BriBri just give me one more chance, please I need you.” He pleads. “Ive given you five! Five fucking chances and you screwed every one of them up! When are you ever going to change Harry? Huh? I’ve given you almost every fucking thing that I have! I’ve given you so much time to try to change, but you don’t! You don’t want to stop, that’s your problem.” I scream. I pull my arm away from him, climbing into the car and speeding away.

It wasn’t five, it was four chances. But after seeing him with another girl in person, out on the front step of my own flat, on our daughter’s birthday, well you could imagine how you would feel if you saw your boyfriend and best friend doing that to you.

Just as I reach the bottom of the stairs Harry comes walking back from the front door wiping his thumb across his lower lip. It took him that fucking long after I saw him to tell that girl goodbye? He looks at me, then looks down at the bag on my shoulder. “What’s going on?” he asks.

“I don’t know Harry, why don’t you tell me?” I snark. “What are you talking about Bri?” he questions. “Like you don’t know. I saw you with that girl.” I tell him as I brush past to get to the door. Darcy, not liking the tone of voices we were speaking in started to wimper in my arms. Realization flashes across Harry’s face. 

“That was nothing.” He says looking to the floor. I turn on my heel to face him. “Nothing? Nothing. Wow Harry. You are such a fucking liar it is impeccable. For once get your damn head out of your ass and take the fault for something!” I yell as I open the door.

I was surprised that boys hadn’t come to see what was happening yet. Maybe they already knew this was going to happen sooner or later.

Darcy was now bawling as I take her to the car. She wanted to stay here, but I just couldn’t bring myself to leave her here with him. “Brianna! Wait. Please.” He calls running out the door after us. The tears poured down my cheeks and frankly I just didn’t give a shit anymore, let him see me break down and cry.

I put Darcy in her carseat, putting the large duffel bag on the other side of her then close the door. Harry grabs my arm viciously, making me face him. “Will you just fucking listen to me for once!?” he spats at me. 

“I’m done trying to listen Harry! I’m done with your fucking shit. You promised! Not for me, but for her!” I yell at him, pointing to our crying daughter in the car. It was just like what I said in the dream.

All of a sudden the whole thing was becoming reality. “BriBri just give me one more chance, please I need you.” He pleads. “Ive given you four! Four fucking chances and you screwed every one of them up! When are you ever going to change Harry? Huh? I’ve given you almost every fucking thing that I have! I’ve given you so much time to try to change, but you don’t! You don’t want to stop, that’s your problem.” I scream.

I pull my arm away from him, climbing into the car. Darcy was screaming loudly as Harry beat his fists against the windows. The doors were locked now so he couldn’t stop me from leaving. It broke my heart to do this to Darcy and to tear her from him, but I had to do this it was the best for all of us.

I watch him crumble in the rearview mirror, wanting to turn back and say everything was going to be just fine. But in reality it wouldn’t be, every bit of this was fucked up all because of lust over love.

Darcy had cried herself to sleep as I drove, just driving to get my mind off of things. I turn the radio up to clear my head.

When the streetlights come on and the fireflies flicker,

I am walking her home making plans.

With her shoes in her hands, I am watching her dance,

As the hem of her dress gently kisses the grass.

It suddenly rains on us,

She is laughing and turns up her hands.

Like autumn turns leaves, winter will breathe, cold on our necks, snow in our paths.

Wherever she goes, all that I know about us is that beautiful things never last,

That’s why fireflies flash.

Those lyrics make me stop thinking about everything.

When this summertime ends, we will not part as friends,

Things were promised in blood; we have sinned.

Now there’s tears in her eyes as she’s screaming goodbyes,

I run ‘long side the car turning numb to the sound.

The tears stream down my face, it was like this song was mine and Harry’s story. Beautiful things never last. A few more verses play until the next one really hits home.

Innocence didn’t mean we’re immune to these things,

Let’s blame the passage of time.

Love and loss, truth it costs more than I can spare right now.

Maybe it’s simpler to lie…

Like autumn turns leaves, winter will breathe, cold on our necks, snow in our paths.

Wherever she goes, all that I know about us is that beautiful things never last,

That’s why fireflies flash

———The song is Fireflies; Ron Pope. Hope you guys liked the chapter. It seriously brought me to tears while writing it. welp this is chapter 41; so i was thinking about 9 more chapters to go. love you all! thanks for reading my fics! xxx