Expectations and Reality

Chapter 1 | MEMORIES

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.

Washington Irving.

☆☆☆

Mesmerising the sight in front of her, a flowing stream, the tall erected fence ahead of it that held a hell lot of loving memories and dejected ones, Lina sat from across the stream, with her canvas and the colour palette.

Yes. It's her painting time and she is impatiently waiting for the sunset, a moment she never miss to paint on every Friday for the past two years.

A tear cascaded down her cheek, absent-minded, as everything came back to her disturbed mind in an eye blink just as if two years ago is a mere two days ago. Another followed and she couldn't stop them. She left them flow freely as it soaks up her hijab.

She no more feels pain when she's crying but rather she feels a relief, as if a thud has been raised up from her bare shoulders. When she cry, she become less confused and also less terrified. She cries not because of the person she misses but because of the moments they shared. She so darn value them.

Although the prospective of her tears varies, so as her emotions. It isn't that she's losing her faith or hopes in living but their proximity is lesser compared to her olden days. Everything about her now is just numb and knotted.

After half an hour the sky showed it's most beautiful feature; The sun set. She grabbed her canvas that was beside her and her palette with different mixtures of oil paints and pair of brushes. She dusted the canvas with her towel and began to paint. She never misses the opportunity to paint on every Friday.

Every Friday of the world reminds her more about the empty space in her heart. But rather to sit and cry she'll always draw the emotion she feel, the feeling of departure, the feeling of loneliness. She thinks that the reason behind the yellowish orange or red color of a sunset is the feeling of loneliness. She'll cry her mind out with her canvas and brushes.

Poor canvas!!!

But unfortunately today seems to be different as Lina sobs uncontrollably while painting. She gathered as much energy she could to stop crying but she couldn't. Memories kept flying into her poor Soul. The last few days she spent with her in the ICU. Her last words, everything felt like it happened at the spur of the moment.

It was only when she was done she realised how dark the painting looks that it'll take a long moment before one realises what's behind the colours. She usually expresses her feelings but this time her mind was in darkness and confusion so she drew out her mind in a form of a sunset on dedication to her one and only non-comparable.

She sat amidst the green nature of the backyard, so peaceful and tranquil but her mind was far away from her soul. She was still sobbing, a little lighter than before. Her mind was at total dilemma at her fathers action. Now, that too struck her mind but she couldn't keep both at her hands at the same time. They'll only bring out the daylight in her.

She couldn't hold it much longer so she packed all her instruments and headed back to the house. She went straight to the basement that held hundreds of her drawings and paintings. She hang the one she finished painting and she headed towards the kitchen.

Anytime she's in pain the only place she goes was into her father's embrace but since after her death he never pays attention to her nor give her the shoulder to cry upon. He changed, completely in an annoying way but nevertheless, she lived with that his attitude for two good years, now she isn't willing to. The more she stays by his side, the more broken he becomes and the more she held herself responsible. So she'll always go to the kitchen and sit with Ms Rayn, the only one person that understood her emotions.