Only You (J-Hope x Reader)

Forgive, but Never Forget

"Come on, don't be scared of me. You know my exact reasons why I acted the way I did," my mom came closer. I backed away, "Don't come any closer." Even if it's been years since those things happened, I could feel my fear build up with each second I'm stuck with her. "Y/N, please. You know why I acted that way... I was depressed. Your father left me, and I drank a lot. I only hit you because I was always under the influence, I didn't know any better. Everyday I regret it, please forgive me," she extended her hand out to me, and made an attempt to come closer. Then she analyzed my expression, and didn't move any further. She dropped her arm to her side. "I truly am sorry... I was just mad about your father leaving me-" I quickly interrupted her. "That's not an excuse! It didn't matter what you were facing, I was also facing problems! I never took my problems out on you, but you took it out on me. Everyday... I was constantly scared of going to school or just staying home..." tears slowly started welling up in my eyes. "When I was bullied in school, I was seeking for you help. I was a helpless child, but when you weren't there to help me... I was alone," my voice cracked. My mom stayed silent and watched my tears roll down my cheek. "You know I tried helping you," she said softly. "That's a lie. You only came to 'recuse' me when you needed affection. You weren't there to help me, you were there for your own well being. Both you and I know that for a fact..." I paused, and sniffled, "Don't act like you wanted to help me, all you wanted was to get the affection you missed." She dropped her head. We stood their in silent, and I calmed down my crying.

"Why are you here?" I asked faintly. My mom looked up at me, "I'm here with my boyfriend." My expression twisted. "Boyfriend?" I asked, and my mom nodded. She nodded, "After all those years of being lonely, I finally have someone who loves me." She smiled brightly at her own words. "Are you going to have a another child with him, and plan to abuse them when he leaves you?" I asked, harshly. I watched as her smile faded at my words. She sighed loudly, "Even if you're a grown adult, I'm still your mother. I was the one who took care of you for nine months to make sure you were healthy. Before your father decided to leave me with you, I was the one who took care of you. Stop giving me that attitude and rudeness, because I was the one who brought you into this world," she fired back. "I'm sorry," I said. "But I'm not going to excuse the fact that you beat me up; you weren't there to help me when I needed it. If you wanted to be a good mom, you would have helped me when I was in desperate need- not come when you were in desperate need. I guess that's how you are, you don't put others in front of you. Only yourself, because you only matter to yourself. After all these years, you pretend that you didn't do anything bad. You tried introducing yourself to my friends. I can forgive, but I'll never forget," I glared at my mom. "I guess this is how we ended up... mother and daughter, separated before any joy can be experienced. You were right. It was my fault that I was an alcoholic and abusive mother, but I was hoping you'll give me a second chance to prove myself," she let out a long sigh. "This is how we ended up..." she trailed off. "Forgive but never forget, huh?" she looked up at me. "I'm sorry for all those years that I treated you like utter trash. You meant the world to me, you were my one miracle. The happiness you brought me was insane. I wish I could experience that again," tears filled to the brim in her eyes. "But you're an adult now, and I will no longer get the affection I crave. It's all because of me," she looked guilty. I felt bad for all the things I said, but it was too late to take any of it back now. "It's time for us to part ways, mom..." I slowly said. She stared at me for a long time, tears streaming down her face.

"Allow me to touch the precious skin of my daughter's fragile skin once more," my mom stumbled forward. I moved my foot back, then hesitated. With a short pause, her hand peacefully landed my cheek. Her thumb rubbed my cheek in slow and loving motions. I stared at her, unsure how to react. I felt like crying again, and I probably was crying already. It felt like the both of us have created our own different paths (which we have), but then we accidentally intercepted with each other. Then I was walking off with tears, and so was my mom. With one last glance, I watched her disappeared. Even after all the hate I built up for her, I could feel my lingering love for her as a mom. Before I knew it, I was facing all my friends. Their faces were full of concern. "Are you okay?" Hoseok asked, pulling me into an embrace. I felt the need to wept in his chest, but I held back the tears. "Who was that?" Jungkook asked with curiosity. The question made me clench onto Hoseok's shirt. "That was... that was my mom," I mumbled. I knew the other didn't hear, and that's because I didn't want them to hear, but I had to tell them. "That was my mom," I said a bit longer. I felt Hosoek's arm tighten around me. "You're mom?" Kim asked in a concerned voice. "Why didn't you just tell us? We could have stayed with you," Hoseok said. "Wait, what's wrong?" Namjoon asked with confusion. I forget that I never informed everyone about my situation. All they knew was that I isolated myself. "Yeah, shouldn't you be happy to see you mom?" Taehyung asked. "She had a troubled past with her mom. Not only did she isolate herself from other people, but her family as well," Kim slowly said. "I'm sorry that I never told you guys... but let's not talk about it now... I want to eat," I said, slowly turning into a mumble.

Now that I thought about it, I wonder how my dad was doing.

I hoped you enjoyed!
~XutieMiako