Another Broken Girl

Chapter 23

Ali's POV

I wake up only to be greeted by dim light. I look over to my clock and see that it's still seven in the morning. I try to go back to sleep, but it's no use. I then moan from annoyance and get up to take a shower.

Once I was done I went into the kitchen and get some leftovers from work. I lay on my stomach in the living room just eating the leftover bread. I realize that living off of leftovers is a bad lifestyle. Well, what am I supposed to do? I don't have enough money to buy my own since most of my money goes to rent and bills for the water and electricity.

I roll over lazily to lay on my back. I look up at the painted ceiling and sigh. My thoughts turn over to yesterday. Should I really go to Luke's birthday? It's obvious that he doesn't want me there. I shouldn't go.

When I saw the boys yesterday it felt unreal. Seeing them made me feel happy, but something inside of me hurt. It hurt because I saw them smiling and laughing. They were all fine without me. Even though I knew that they would be fine; actually seeing them being fine without me hurt. I know it sounds selfish of me, but I hoped that they would at least be a little upset. 

I hear my phone ring from my bed.

I walk over to my bed to see Jay's name pop up. I loosen up when I see his name.

Can't sleep. Want to meet up?

Jay has incredible timing.

Sure. I moved apartments. Meet you at the park?

Seconds later Jay answers back.

Sure. See you soon.

I start to get ready to meet up with Jay and then head out the door. Once I start to walk to the park I start thinking. Jay has been acting a bit strange. Meeting him this early isn't strange though. We use to always sneak out early in the morning and hang out.

"Hey." I say once I enter the sorry excuse of a park.

"Why'd you move?" he asks me from the swings.

"Wow that's the first thing you say to me?" I ask jokingly sitting on the swing next to him.

"Oh, right. Sorry. So, how've you been?" he asks awkwardly.

"I'm good. You?" I ask.

"Okay." he says slowing down his pace on the swing.

"So, did something happen that made you move?" he asks. 

"You're really curious aren't you?" I chuckle.

"Well, yeah. Of course I want to know." he says quietly. He doesn't look like he can't sleep. He actually looks really tired.

"You know that Luke guy I lived with?" I ask.

"Yeah." he replies.

"Well, I was getting too close to him and his friends. I was afraid I was going to get hurt. So, I left." I explain to him.

"Oh." was all he could say. He knew about my trust issues.

We both walk over to the play set and sit next to the slide and monkey bars. We don't say anything for a while. I look up at the clouds to see gray skies.

"Still looking at clouds?" he asks.

"Yeah."

"Can I tell you something?" I ask.

"Anything." Jay says softly.

"Sometimes I feel like he's going to find me. And once he finds me he'll take me back to New York. To hurt me again." I say shakily just loud enough for both of us. I don't even have to say his name.

"Honestly, I'm scared as hell." I whisper. I feel tears stinging my eyes. I bring my knees to my chest and burry my head in my knees.

I feel Jay come up behind me. He wraps his hands around my waist and puts his legs on each side of me. He puts his chin on my head attempting to comfort me. 

We stay like this for what seems like hours. But with Jay it doesn't matter. I don't mind him seeing me like this. He seen me like this before. Jay is the only one I truly trust. He's been there for me through all these years. I'm happy to say that I have a best friend like him. I love him so much I don't know what I would do without him.

I feel more tears stinging my eyes once I think of the day John killed my mother. He killed her because he caught us before we could leave. We were so close. We were just going to walk out the door, but he just had to come back early. My mother deserved so much more than this.

When my real dad died we were kicked out of our house because she couldn't pay the bills. Leo and I insisted on getting a job to help out, but she refused. That's when she met John. John is a police officer. We all thought that he was a nice guy until they started dating. He's a crazy alcoholic that wants everything his way. Every time my mom tried to brake it off with him, he wouldn't listen and hurt her. So the day he asked her to marry him she had no choice.

"What did I do to deserve this?" I whisper into my knees.

"Sometimes the greatest people are the ones who suffer the most."