Chapter 39: Change of Heart

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"Want these hotel shampoos?" asks Grace as we pack up to head home.

"No, I have a big makeup bag full of those" I laugh. It's true. Basically, all I wash my hair with is the shampoos from hotels. If I run out of hotel shampoo I end up using Prince's shampoo but that doesn't happen much.

"I'm taking them then-these are the good shit"

On the way to the airport I take one last photo of my billboard. This will be so cool to show my future children someday I muse to myself. Whoa! Did I just think that? I never let myself think about having babies. It was always because I didn't have a man then after I got serious with Prince, I kind of decided that I didn't want to have a child who looks like me. It hits me that I have more than my genetics to offer a baby. I've got other qualities such as kindness, thoughtfulness and ambition. Those are nothing to sneeze at. And Grace says I have the ability to love everyone but myself.

Who would I have babies with? As much as I love Prince and would adore being his wife, I know I'm not the right fit to be Mrs. Nelson. His wife should be drop dead gorgeous and someone he can create albums for that would elevate his reputation as a producer and songwriter. Annette! She and her boyfriend are bound to break up. Sometimes you just know. Prince and Annette are good friends and she's perfect. The babies from those two wouldn't have a single flaw. She's the sort I imagine Prince marrying. 

I know the day is coming where Prince will be fed up with my insecurities and call it quits. How much can a man take? Right now, he's probably putting up with me because I take care of him. What man wouldn't love to have someone looking after him? My guess is in a way, I'm a "mother figure" to him. I help with domestic stuff, help make his clothes, comfort him when he's stressed. Before long what he's gonna need is hot singer to marry and start a family with. 

"Uh, why are you crying?"asks Grace as we're settling into our plane seats.

 "I...I...I wanna be Mrs. Nelson and have a family but it'll never happen!" I bawl into Grace's shoulder.

She looks so confused,"Why not?"

 "Because I'm not Annette!"

"What does she have to do with anything?

""Annette is the type Prince needs."

"How would you know what he needs? Maybe what he wants is a normal small town girl who thinks he hung the moon, you know, someone like YOU."

"I stick out like a sore thumb on red carpets and can't carry a tune in a bucket!" I whine

"Why do you need to sing? You're a photographer. You two have been together for awhile, sit down, talk about the future. "

"But he's busy with tour stuff." 

"If he gives a fuck, he'll talk to you. Trust me. Now relax, the other passengers must think you're a very nervous flier. "

I'm all set to talk to Prince at home, but when I see him he looks so sexy, all I want to do is hop into bed. He takes one look at me in my cords and sweatshirt (with a long sleeved shirt underneath) and shakes his head. "Just wanted to be comfy on the plane, huh?" he comments.

"Um...yeah. No one takes my picture in the airport unless I'm with you so it didn't matter." I reply. Who can think of a photographer who gets photographed by themselves? I whisper in his ear "Why don't you take this off me?"

"You don't have to ask twice." Prince smirks.In the bedroom, he wastes no time removing my sweatshirt. "What? Layers? You trying to slow me down?" He laughs. 

Personally, I love laughing in the bedroom. "nothing would ever slow you down, Sugar" I giggle.

"Damn right." 

My pants and shirts are removed now, leaving me in my lacy bra and panties. I'd put them on just for Prince, who is taking them off."I missed you." he whispers as he strokes my hair

."Then throw me down on the bed and fuck me." I snicker as I undo his pants.

 Prince kisses me. "I'm not going to 'throw you on the bed'. I love you too much, to be rough with you."

What he does is pick me up, despite the fact that basically I am in his weight class, and places me gently on the bed. Our kisses are deep and sensual. They alone make me moan. Prince kisses my feet, drags his tongue along my calf muscles, making me squirm in delight. His eyes gaze up at me. When he's gets more upright, I flip him over and pin him down. "Whoa..."Prince whispers. Our lower bodies gyrate with one another as I nibble his ear so gently. While I have him down and am squeezing him with my legs, I think you need a strong woman, like me.

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