well technically no one at this point, but hey just because no one is reading doesn't mean i should stop
right?
well hopefully
anywho instead of just a school type thing i'm going to use this time to speak to myself (aka you) through this part
since no one is on recently means i will just spill out all of my thoughts and then regret it later when people do actually read this
but you know yolo
okay so like i've been struggling, like a lot and i'm finding it difficult to get myself onto the right track
like ever since you know me and eli broke up i've been feeling kiNda lonely
and i said i was over him, which was mostly correct
i am over HIM like himself, but i'm not over having someone to give me the attention he gave me at the beginning
you know?
like you go from someone saying "hey i really like you and i hope this lasts!!"
to literally no contact at all
but i'm working through it
i've got a somewhat crush on someone i literally have no chance with
like actually i'm not even joking
pretty much i'm sure most of the girls in my class also like him
and lemme just say i'm probably the last in line if he liked any of us
but that doesn't really stop me from over thinking all the things he does
like whenever i say something he gets like extra close to my face, like tbh probably 6 inches or something
he has really bad jokes but they are like inside jokes with me and oh my word can they fucking make me lose it
and i guess he tries to make me laugh
like he will bob his head around until i look at him and then he'll smile
mY head overthinks them toooo mUch
oh and i guess there is a possibility that this one dude likes me
he makes like an extra effort to either slow down or speed walk to me in the hallway on our way to math together
and during lunch he'll walk over and ask random questions
he literally drew a cat once on a piece of paper and wrote math cat and flashed it to me in the middle of class
idk he's got a nice personality and he's kinda like that cute dumb
like if he messes something up you're just like omg you are so dumb wtf that is adorable AnD you need to be protected
uh yeah
oh and lemme say at hoco my old friend who goes to a different school now who i go to football games with was dancing with a different girl during the slow dance and my guy i felt a bit of jealousy
like uh stop u literally are just friends
and he know that too
we would never make moves on eachother
but yeah
current mood is plz love me
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