Chapter 33

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Harry's pov

"Harry come on we are waiting for you" Gemma says as she stands by the front door with Darcy "coming I shout from my bedroom as I finish of fixing my hair coming across one of Skylar's  shirts, gosh I really miss her it's been 3 weeks since she left and two weeks since I last contacted her and the reason is because she has taken time away from her phone so its hard to see her, I went round her parents house the other day and no one was in, "I'm ready" I say coming down the stairs "finally, we are hungry" Gemma moans "hungy" Darcy repeats her trying to say the word causing me to smile.

The three of us are going out for lunch to Nandos, Gemma insisted on coming here so here we are, "have you spoken to Skylar recently?" She asks as I cut Darcy's chicken from the kids menu "no" I mumble not looking at her "I saw Charlotte the other day" she tells me "she told me that she hasn't spoken to her neither but Ryan told her that she is seeing her psychologist and she is getting the help and support she needs and she is just spending time with her family it's what she needs right now but she does miss you and Darcy though " she tells me "I know but I thought I was her family " I tell her "you know what she means Haz, she doesn't need the spotlight on her " she says and she has a point I just really miss her "and how are you doing?" She asks "fine" I tell her bluntly and she raises an eyebrow at me "sure, that's why you have been cancelling your interviews, not leaving the house, cancelling your plans, shall I continue? " she asks sarcastically "don't repeat your past, do it for Skylar" she begs and I nod at her.

After lunch we head back to my place for a while before I have to leave for a last minute live interview only because Gemma insisted  "what interview is it again?" She asks as she sits on the sofa "capital Fm" I tell her "and after the interview I'm going to the studio so I don't know what time I will be back" I tell her and she nods "drive safe " she says as I grab my keys giving Darcy a kiss. I get in my car and I just brake down in tears, I need her I really do I don't know how long I can do this for.

"Good to see you harry" the Roman says "it's good to be here" I smile "so i bumped into you a few weeks ago on one of the most awkward  moments of my life" he says causing me to remember that day "awkward? why was it awkward? I mean for you or for me?"I smile at him "I found it enjoyable if I'm honest"  I joke "do you want to tell the story?" He laughs "no, I think it's best if you tell the story" I say getting comfortable in my chair "so I thought it would be best, em too... take my ex girlfriend out to a lovely dinner, your laughing already " he says looking at me causing me to laugh even more "watching you try to navigate this..." "so basically I was so trying to make a mends with an ex girlfriend you know like in a just be friends way   right " he starts to explain "that's nice" "yeah its a nice thing to do and so she went of so i had a momet spare and then I'm walking over to the bar and as I'm walking over I just hear this 'roman kemp'" he says doing an impression of me both of us bursting out laughing "and it was you, young styles" he says "it was me!"  "And anyway we had a nice little chat and you found it very funny that I was there with my ex girlfriend " "I found it very nice actually " "yeah it was a nice thing to do and you know what? It was going swimmingly " he says "it wasn't " I grin at him "well yeah I thought it was and anyway we were about to leave the restaurant we had a nice dinner and there are all these glass windows going around the restaurant right and it was good we were really working on the friendship and I must say there was a lot of people in this restaurant a lot and then my ex girlfriend goes 'ro ro' I look up from my phone and there is this bang bang bang on the glass 'Roman Roman, is it awkward? How is it going?' And its Mr styles with his thumbs up just making it ten times more awkward" he says causing us to laugh "I mean you was on your phone, that's a bad sign " I laugh "it was awkward and then you made it even more awkward " he says "I know it was awkward because you text me begging me to go to this dinner" I say " I needed the help I needed the help " he laughs.

"So the movie? How was it?" He asks me getting comfortable in his chair "being part of the movie was great,the cast members were awesome I loved it, just being able to have that experience was amazing I can't wait for you guys to watch it " I tell him "we can't wait to watch it! It looks great" he says, "so apart from the movie, Darcy?  How is she doing? She must be getting so big" he says "she is doing great, I'm a very proud dad" I tell them  "is she naughty in a cheeky way or is she an angel?" He asks me smiling "Darcy is cheeky but not naughty,she knows were the limit is but she is very good she is so caring I love her" I tell him "And obviously let's ask about the famous YouTuber Skylar Winters" oh no please god, "so there were rumours that the two of you are dating and that was confirmed" he starts to say looking at me  and I just nod at him "and then there were rumors that she was pregnant and now everyone seems to think that the two of you have broken up" he says surprised "yeah eh... the media seem to think a lot of things and sometimes they are right and sometimes they aren't so right" I say biting my lip nervous "and in this case are they right or wrong? " he asks " I don't think they are right and I don't think they are wrong" I smirk giving them a complicated answer "it was great having you here Harry, we hope to see you again very soon, harry Styles everyone" he says after some more questions  "thank you for having me". I leave capital fm studios and head straight to the studio by myself.

This is the first time I have had some alone time since Skylar left,its nice being here because I can just think without any interruptions, after a while of staring at the blank sheet of  paper in my notebook I find myself on my phone looking through my photos of skylar and I you can see the smile on our faces but I  can also see the sadness behind her smile, I came across one in particular of the 3 of us a day we were baking but failed miserably, we had flour on our faces, Darcy was sat on the counter top with Skylar and I was taking the photo, we were all smiling and laughing, I just feel terrible for not knowing how she was actually feeling. 

After scrolling through the photos I go to my contacts and I see her number on favourites my thumb hovering over the call button, I know she is having time of social media and off her phone in general but it's worth a try, I press call and it starts ringing after the sixth ring I was about to cut off but she answers "hello?" I hear her say in a croaky voice as if she has just woken up, "sky? Oh-I- did I wake you?" I stutter "no don't be silly" she says and I can just imagine her smile, gosh I miss her "how are you?" I ask her "yeah I'm goo-" "don't lie to me sky" I cut her of "how are you? Honestly" I ask and it goes quiet "I'm getting there, I- I have had panic attacks quite often" she says quietly not really wanting me to hear "but I promise you I am honestly doing better" she says in a more confident voice "I'm glad you are doing well" I smile through the phone "so what are you up to? " she asks "just in the studio, you know it sometimes feels good to be by yourself just writing your emotions down" I tell her "you do realise the time don't you? It's almost ten o'clock " she says causing me to pull the phone away from my ear to check the time "oh my god Skylar sorry, I didn't realise it was that late" I tell her feeling really bad for waking her up "Haz its fine, I'm glad you called" she says "how is Darcy? " "she's good just being the cheeky monkey she is " I smile "the usual Darcy then" she laughs "yeah" I smile and the line goes quiet just able to hear her breathing, I dont want to put the phone down because I don't know when I will next be able to talk to her, "Haz?" She breaks the silence "you should probably head home, it's late and I don't want you driving home this late at night" she says "yeah good idea" I say  awkwardly gathering my things together "skylar? " I ask after another moment of silence "hmm?" "Could we meet up one day? I- I need to see you Sky" I tell her my voice cracking "Haz I promise  we are going to see each other soon I just don't want you to see me like this, I promise you Harry " she tells me "but Sky I need you, I'm hurt just as much as you are and I'm finding it so fucking hard without you, I'm trying so hard not to loose it Sky I really am but I just can't hide it anymore I can't act like I'm not hurt when I really am" I tell her as the tears roll down my cheeks.



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