Azure Saviour | dark h.s.

twenty | 20

A/N - 1: Sorry for the day late reply, I travelled unexpectedly (yet again, I need a non-hectic life, I swear), but trying to keep the updates close to the schedule as possible! 

A/N - 2: His eyes and that smile. Oh my word.

beau·ti·ful

Harry. 

Groaning, my eyes flickered open, feeling the bright light warm them up. They squinted as a sliver of sun was brought through the curtains that weren't fully closed and I couldn't help but mentally curse myself for that. I slowly sat up in bed, feeling slightly hot, and a tad shaky — and I immediately knew what that meant.

"Shit." I knew I had to get something in my system. I hated these times. The times that constantly reminded me I was a complete fuckup. I properly got up, sitting on the edge of the bed, and pulled the plastic bag filled with dangerous white powder. A frustrated sigh escaped my lips as I opened it, pouring just enough to feel 'fine'. I made a straight line on the top of the bedside table and snorted it quickly. My eyes closed as I took in the satisfying, yet miserable, feeling that rushed through my body. I hadn't realized when a single tear had run down my cheek. I swiftly wiped it away with the back of my hand, attempting to remove the fact my emotions were still there.

Standing up, I went into the bathroom, and started the shower. As soon as the temperature was to my liking, I stepped inside; the scolding hot water fell from the rain shower-head and ran down my body. My hands reached out for the soap, as I scrubbed it against my skin, wanting to rid myself from the dirt — secretly wishing it could also clean my heart and soul. 

I let the bar slip from my hand and then rested my palms against the cool tiles. I turned around, leaning my head back, and slowly slid down the wall. Salty tears ran down my cheeks as I sobbed, mixing with the water that fell from above me, as they both mutually danced down the drain. I wished I could follow them. I wished many things in my life, but I knew that they couldn't happen. I debated whether that wasn't possible because I didn't want it to, or if it truly wasn't capable. My hands grasped my head and I curled myself into a ball on the shower floor, holding on as if my own life depended upon my single embrace. I hated my life. I hated everything.

Nothing good came from it. Nothing.

..

I'd left the shower, when I realised the water had turned cold as ice. After I got dressed into a pair of jeans and plain shirt, I quickly towel dried my hair, and threw it onto the bed. My entire house was clean, except for my bedroom. I took my phone from the charger and went downstairs. Fuck I needed some coffee — and maybe some food. There were so many things I had to do today; by things, that meant deals, which I truly hoped that they were small. I was slacking on them lately and I knew that wasn't good thing to do, but I couldn't care less. Caring; such bullshit. 

Once I prepared a cup, I sat down on one of the kitchen island stools. It was then that I took a look at my phone screen and just let out a bothered breath as the notifications came rolling in. After the sixth alert came in, I quickly turned the sound off. My eyes closed tightly as I waited for the final vibration to send through. After a deep breath, I glanced down at my device, went through my missed calls first, then through to my messages. The list of people, practically included every single person I contact on a regular basis.

Yesterday, 7:44 PM - Dylan: Let's go for some more froyo. You know you want tooooo

Yesterday, 11:18 PM - Liam: Call me in the afternoon tomorrow. I have something to ask you.

Today, 3:19 AM - Vince: The shipment is ready. Have it delivered by 8

Today, 6:30 AM - Gemma: Wake up you idiot, I called you 5 times. Love you xx