The Holt Conundrum

third may

               

It's May and I help Holt with his portfolio. I call Mom, asking her to tell me everything he should do to help out, and to give me contacts and people to call.

"I don't understand why you didn't do this for yourself when you were looking for work," Holt tells me as I relay all the information.

"Shut up, I'm a man of mystery, none have been able to decorticate the complex inner working of my mind," I tell him.

So, obviously, Holt says, "you're a moron."

I grin. "Oooh, keep talking sexy to me." Holt rolls his eyes in answer, and I chuckle. "Speaking of sexy, we need to get a head shot of you to send with your portfolio."

"Why? I'm not selling my face, I'm selling my art."

"But, you kind of are selling yourself too. You're selling a whole package. The face comes with it." And whether he likes it or not seeing his sexy face in his portfolio is totally going to help getting him noticed.

"I don't like the idea of selling myself," Holt admits.

My poor pure little bean. "Get use to it honey, because everyone is always selling themselves, all the time, and anyone that tries to tell you the opposite is probably trying to sell themselves as they speak."

            He sighs. "Fine."

I look at him, tilting my head a bit. His hair has grown a lot, it's been a while since a scissor's been playing in those blond locks. He's cute, but he could look sharper, sexier. "You'll need a new haircut. Where do you get your hair done?"

"Any place that has a free spot at the time," he admits.

Oh sweety nooooooo.

I bring him to my barber, Hayden. He's an Adonis. He's also married with two kids. I've told him multiple times that if he ever leaves his husband I'm waiting arms opened. I'd love his children like my own.

I know I greatly amuse him when I come up with my plans to woo him and steal him away form his husband. Because we both know I have no chance. They're too sickenly in love. And truthfully, I don't want him for myself. The guy I want is a clueless puppy.

So of course, I don't pass on an occasion to go flirt with Hayden and come along with Holt.

I'm sitting in a swivelling chair, just spinning around while Hayden does his magic.

"Don't you think Scott Eastwood is dreaaaaamy?" I ask at one point, my chin resting on my hands atop of the back of the chair. I'm sitting on it in the wrong way.

"Clint was a babe, so of course he was going to make a sexy offspring," Hayden answers.

I sigh dreamily. "Scott looks like he could repair my car if it breaks down in the middle of a highway. He looks like he could change a tire without having to look at a Youtube tutorial"

Hayden nods in agreement. "He looks like he can build that IKEA Hemnes 8 drawer dresser without having to look at the instructions."

"Dreaaaaamy," I repeat.

            Holt is making a face. "You guys are weird."

            I snort. "Please, don't tell me you don't think any of that is sexy?"

Holt rolls his eyes. "Who needs to look at a Youtube tutorial to change a tire?"

I stop swivelling in my chair. "You mean you can change a tire?"

"My dad has an autoshop, of course I can change a tire." And another small piece of information to tuck away about Holt's family.

"Oh my god, does that mean you could also repair my car if it breaks down in the middle of the highway?" Like Holt could ever get any sexier. Ugh, I hate him.

"Maybe, it depends on the problem."

"But you could say what the problem is?"
             "Probably, yeah," Holt answers, shrugging one shoulder.

"But I bet you can't build the dresser. It's not feasible," Hayden adds.

Holt shakes his head and Hayden swats him, because you know, haircut. "You guys are really weird."

"We should go to IKEA afterwards, buy that dresser and test it out," I say.

Hayden is nodding enthusiastically. "Definitely. There's really no point in arguing about doing anything else."

"Weeeeeeirdos," Holt whines throwing his head back and Hayden swats him again.

And now we're all laughing.