Chapter 18: Opening Up

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The night before

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The night before

"I think I'm starting to fall for I Helga". Helga's face held an unquenchable joy. She pulled me down to the living room and sat me beside her. I laid back on her legs and stared at the plain ceiling. She rubbed through my hair soothing and I smiled in delight.

"Tell me. Open up". I sighed and took a inhale of preparation. It was time to confess.

To stop lying to myself.

He wasn't here anymore.

I can be who I want.

"I think it was always there Helga. Since the day I stared into those innocent ocean eyes" enjoying how pouring myself out felt I continued. "I though it was lust at first, but then I couldn't spend two hours without checking up on her. That night that she screamed at me I felt horrible, like I had killed her parents or something. Her being upset with me became one of my most feared things. And then, the kiss. The first time I kissed her I felt like the world was spinning around me Helga.

I haven't felt something like it before. It.. was special. She is special. She intrigues me, every little thing she does makes me want to write an essay about how perfect she is. And when I thought I was fooling her, it turned out I was only fooling myself. When she went unconscious." My voice lowered noticeably. Usually I would cover it up so people didn't know how I was feeling. But I didn't care at this moment. Opening up felt amazing!

"I nearly passed put due to stress. I was over thinking. Working out more often. Pushing myself distract myself from her. I needed her to wake up and tell me everything was okay. That she was okay. And when she did, I felt like someone had pulled two boulders off my shoulders. She did it so happily though? I thought it was weird but now I'm just grateful that she is okay".

I turned my neck backwards and looked at Helga' s glowing face. She suddenly gave me the eyes to warm me that if I was lying it should stop now. I gave a reassuring nod that I was serious. "I think I'm ready, to finally be serious and start something with her. Take her out. Spoil her with everything she wants. Give her the world and so much more. Give her me. And i want her back, her sassy attitude. Her shy behaviour. Her mood swings. Her snarky comments. Her annoying eye rolls. I want it all. I'm...... I'm falling Helga. Hard. Very hard. And for once I don't care where I'm going to land. Neither of us are ready to say the l-word yet and I don't mind. I just want her to be happy... with me".

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