Our Little Secret

Fourty-Four

Nicki sat cross legged on the living room floor, watching Rihmeek play with the puppy, who wasn't much of a puppy anymore. Rihmeek crawled around, smiling from ear to ear as the dog ran from him, wagging his tail.

"Ma ma!" Rihmeek said to the dog, slapping the floor.

Nicki smiled, watching as he blew spit bubbles and crawled towards the dog.

"Come here, Tooda," Nicki said softly.

Since the incident a month ago, Nicki hadn't felt like herself. She felt unsafe in the world, but only safe in her husband's arms. Her scars reminded her of the constant agonizing pain. She had become much more quieter and isolated. She knew not to shut her loved ones out, but she struggled with it every day.

Rihmeek crawled over to her, and she picked him up, sitting him in her lap. She smiled as he reached for her hair like he always did. His mouth was open, ready to eat whatever his hand had gripped.

"I love you," Nicki told him, kissing his slobbery lips. "You're Mommy's big boy."

Rihmeek blew spit bubbles, pulling Nicki's hair.

"Stop it," Nicki smiled, moving his hand.

Rihmeek leaned forward to give Nicki a kiss. She looked down at him with lots of love, feeling warm inside. Since he didn't know how to pucker his lips, Rihmeek leaned in, putting his slobbery mouth on his mom's lips in an attempt to kiss her. Nicki kissed him repeatedly them smiled.

"You're so sweet, Tooda. You make me so happy."

Hearing the front door open, Nicki looked up. Meek walked in, laying his jacket across the couch. Nicki immediately stood up, putting Rihmeek down. She walked over to Meek and wrapped her arms around him. Meek held her tightly and then kissed her forehead.

"Hey, baby girl," he said softly, rubbing her back.

"Hi.. I cooked lunch if you're hungry."

He smiled and pecked her lips. "I'm good, baby."

He let her go and walked over to Rihmeek, picking him up. He kissed his cheek and smiled, grabbing his little hand.

"Wassup, man? You being good for your mom this morning?" He asked.

"He's such a sweet little baby," Nicki smiled. "I still can't believe we created that."

Meek chuckled. "Me either. He remind me so much of you. He so sweet and happy."

Nicki rubbed Rihmeek's arm, then sat on the couch. Meek put his son down, watching him crawl over to his play mat.

"Avery birthday party tomorrow," Meek said.

"I know. I really don't feel up to it, but I wouldn't miss it for the world," Nicki told him.

He sat beside her, pulling her into his lap. She laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"How you feeling today, baby?" He asked.

"Way better than before. I'm still recovering, of course but I feel better. Being around you and Rihmeek is what's keeping me sane," she said.

He kissed the top of her head. "You know I'll do anything for you, right?"

"Yes. I love that about you, Meek. You're so caring and you treat me so well. I just hate these circumstances. Everything that happened has me so afraid and I don't want to be afraid."

"You just need time, baby. Don't stress it, okay. I'll always be here to protect you."

Nicki sighed. "I know.. it's just that.. you're my husband and as your wife, it's my job to please you, but how can I do that if I'm too afraid to even take my clothes off without reliving that night?"