Skyrim One-Shots

Ralof x Reader(Female) ~Woe of the Bear's Hold(2)~

"Right, hun," the mother hummed, placing the toddler onto the floor and leaning in front of her. "I'll be back in a few days, don't you worry."

The 8-year-old visibly slumped. "I don't wanna talk to the guards all day," she muttered.

She let out a laugh, Ralof giving the girl a scrub on his daughter's head with his knuckles as the girl withered and giggled, "Don't go giving your Uncle too much trouble, aye?"

"Fine!" the girl squeaked, "I bet he'll be in his office all day!"

____ gave her brother a wink, the Jarl standing stiffly on the sidelines of the small group. "Even if he did, Galmar would get something drilled into you, cub. Now, we're off!"

As his parents turned to leave, the girl scoffed, crossing his arms with a bitter whisper under her breath.

Galmar, who had been standing behind the girl, only acknowledged the words after ____ and Ralof had left, giving a slight tap to the girl's back.

"Your mom would've had your ass for that," he warned. "I, even, might have your arse for it."

The girl huffed. "Good that I meant it then, ain't it?"

"Oho, Ulfric, she donnae like you at all already," the housecarl chuckled.

The new caretaker shifted uncomfortably. "I've been told."

"He's a right wimp!" the girl claimed, "I could sack him with my eyes closed!"

"Right," the veteran snorted, "I'd be careful with that tongue before you go in the Bloodworks."

She growled. "My mother would have your head."

He shrugged, not at all concerned. "You do have a temper. A night or two may calm it."

The girl paled.

"Galmar," Ulfric groaned, "would you stop scaring my niece?"

"I don't think she's scared," the man noted.

"Galmar."

"You like swords, kid?"

"Galmar, you are not-"

"Are you gonna teach me?" the girl questioned excitedly, "Mom never even lets me look at hers! Dad doesn't either!"

"A crime," the housecarl huffed, "not giving a Nordic child a blade when they want it."

"You are not giving her a blade of any kind, Galmar!"

"You want a battleaxe?" he offered to the girl, who snorted.

"I want a longsword, like my mom."

"Should'a expected that. You know, I just may-"

Ulfric literally pushed his housecarl aside, gaining the child's attention. "Would you like to learn how to shout?"

She blinked. 

"That," she claimed, "seems much more intimidating. I like it."

Ulfric gave his housecarl a nasty glance. "Then I can teach you."

"Oi, what about the-"

She waved him off, "Nope. Thu'um first, mom would never teach me that. I'll learn swords play later. Do I have to do a lot of reading- to learn to shout?"

Ulfric raised a brow. "I had to read some 50 books myself as a start. Judge that as you will, but you will not learn how to shout in a few days."

The girl gave a wide grin. "You'd be surprised, Uncle."

He stared blankly. "It took me 10 years to get the first word of the most basic of shouts out of my chest."

"And it took my mother only a day," she pointed out.

"Your mother is of Dragonblood."

"So then I am too, aren't I?"

There was a pause.

"You are as scheming and as cunning as my sister, little one."

The girl sniggered. "I'm worse. Just you wait, old coot, I'll get you. You get off your game, I win."

Ulfric gave her a dark glance. "Old coot?"

"Yes, that's what old people are called," she floored haughtily.

"Oh, kid," Galmar wheezed, "I wouldn't say that again."

"Receding hairline," she spat, "scoundrel."

Silence followed as the Jarl gave the girl a deadly calm look.

"Right, you might need to spend an hour with the current rookies," Ulfric stated.

"I'll make them choke themselves."

"You know what," Galmar mused, "I like her."

Ulfric heaved the girl onto his shoulders, "And she might bite your ear off."

The girl growled, nearly kicking the Jarl in the side with her sharp leg movements. "Let me go, you bastard!"

"Oi, oi, that ain't lady-like," Galmar chided.

"Do I look lady-like to you?" the girl yelled.

"No," Ulfric affirmed, starting to walk towards the barracks, "you look like an ignorant, bratty child."

"Tiber Septim was nothing like the grim, grey, giant warrior she'd pictured. He was of average height, fully half a head shorter than tall Symmachus, although he was well-knit of figure and lithe of movement. He had a winning smile, bright -- indeed piercing -- blue eyes, and a full head of stark white hair above a lined and weathered face. He might have been any age from forty to sixty," the girl wheeled out faster than any sane man could speak, "the Red King bows to none, and of an Atmorian we worship whom united Tamriel. For we are the children of men, for us of the old blood, restore the old way with the song of Skyrim!"

There was a pause, tense.

She panted for breath. "Call me ignorant again," she hissed, "I dare you. I may be a brat, but I am not stupid. I am not uneducated."

"That was from Book III of The Real Barenziah. How in the hell did you know that?" Ulfric barked out.

"Bo liin hinmaar."

"You insult me in dragon tongue, even!?"

"I stole my mom's books," the girl giggled. "I learned."

"I already fear for your future," the Jarl muttered.

"Just you wait," she sniggered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

If any of you have the desire to know, the one line translates to this:

go sex yourself.

so, go fuck yourself.

This lil' girl has some spit! I like her!

Requests? Jarl Balgruuf? Brynjolf? Mercer? Alduin? Odahviing?

I can't get over how spicy and sassy this kid is. I love it so much. She even insults Ulfric's receding hairline- like, damn.

Right,

Dani out,

Adieu!