Skyrim One-Shots

Ulfric x Reader(Female) ~The Secrets We Kept(6)~

Ulfric had carefully avoided you until night fell. A smart man, though idiotic in the sense that he started this whole mess of the day. Gods be dammed, you couldn't believe you hadn't seen it coming. Of course, of course, he would get you back! That was your husband, and shamefully, you had underestimated his patience. In that regard, you almost deserved what came to you. And throwing a pie at a very prestigious and serious man probably stone-walled the fact that you really did deserve that cold, cold plummet.

However, you too were a woman to be reckoned with. This simply would not do. You weren't angry- that had long since past when you reached the bedroom door, knowing Ulfric was inside- but you wanted some revenge. Sweet, sweet, revenge.

After this, it was done. This one last final thing would end this little feud, and life would return to normal. He was going to be so unimpressed with what you were about to do you already knew what his face would look like, the intense stare that only he could conjure, and the silent wondering of why he would marry a woman like you before he would just sigh and shake his head.

Keeping a hand firmly in the pockets of your simple dress you had changed into, you twisted the knob of the door, cold, hard iron, and entered. The faint hearth crackled quietly, the candles and torches around the room illuminating the large figure sitting on the side of the double bed in the middle of the room. He moved his head, the glow of orange outlining his face and casting shadows and highlights to his face as he met your eyes.

"You're not as furious as I expected," he commented quietly. You shrugged, taking a relaxed paced toward him, letting him think your tiredness had won over your need for vengeance. He was free of any shirt, scars showing proudly at his back and front while hard-won muscles made up his broad shoulders and chest. Drool-worthy had you been sixteen.

Now, all you cared about was him not getting fat. Ulfric seemed to think the same. Looks didn't matter much anymore, but that didn't mean there were times where they most certainly did. Mainly, during sex, but you'd best not disclose that out loud. Imagine if the boys heard- oh, the trauma, hearing about the sex life of parents from both sides. You didn't even want to think about it.

"I'm too tired," you smiled weakly, coming to sit beside him. The hand in your pocket slowly slipped out as you leaned your head on his shoulder, his head resting atop yours as he closed his eyes for a bit.

Your movements were undetectable, so careful and slow that you could be mistaken for a thief. A good thing he had his eyes closed.

Crack.

The oozing, cold and thick liquid on his head registered immediately, along with the telltale crack. He eyes opened with such delay, the cold blue of them glaring into the wall as the egg whites dripped down his face and on to his neck, his face dreadfully impassive as he turned his head to look at you.

You raised your brows. What did you think would happen, husband of mine? 

Ulfric shook his head, standing up and walking to the connected bathroom without a word to clean up. You changed into your nightgown as he did so, slipping into bed and waiting for him to emerge, not too long after.

His hair was wet from him having to clean off the egg and egg shells (yes, you had smashed the entire thing on his head) and there certainly still was some tiny shells in the strands that he would have to get out come morning, but he didn't seem to care. All he did was get into bed beside you and let you cuddle up to him, murmuring a quiet apology to which he just sighed. You both fell asleep soon after.

''''''

Breakfast was a shitshow. Both of the boys had refused to get up, so you and Ulfric gave up on them and let them sleep (Galmar would hassle them today in training for it) and just got to eating because you both had to run an entire province. Skyrim didn't wait for you.

Funny enough, for breakfast that day, Ulfric was the first to get up and even headed to the kitchens beforehand. Something was afoot and you knew it, but you didn't pry. Galmar and Jorleif joined you and Ulfric for the meal, along with a handful of guards that had cracked down on some major skooma dealers just yesterday that had proved nearly impossible to find before they had, by luck, happened upon a den.

"My lady," Ulfric cleared his throat and you turned your head, thoughts dissipating.

"Yes?" you questioned, dropping the fork in your hand out of a slight gut feeling.

And then, an egg was coming your way, masterfully thrown by your one and only husband with a simple flick of his wrist. Out of pure instinct, you caught it gently enough so it didn't break and then slammed that poor baby chicken at Galmar, sitting peacefully across from you and who had done absolutely no wrong in the world.

Ulfric had covered his mouth, trying to conceal his wheezing laughter and keep food in his mouth while Jorleif spat out his water, head thrown back in laughter.

There was a sharp, forced smile from the general who never smiled.

You grinned, like an absolute sleazebag. "My hand slipped."

When in doubt with Ulfric, piss Galmar off and suddenly you both are on the same side again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

oh boy

there's a lot of eggs in this chapter.

but it's alright haha

mk

mk

dani out,

Adieu!