Skyrim One-Shots

Ulfric x Reader(Female) ~The Secrets We Kept(5)~

Today was the day.

And mind you, I do not say that lightly. The sheer planning that I have put into this is slightly embarrassing, but I deem it completely worth it. You and the boys pulled off that little prank of sorts well, I applaud you. That was a few weeks ago, and even still, it brought laughter often to the halls, be it from a guard, a staff, or you and the boys.

Sure. It was funny, I guess. Galmar thought it was simply hilarious that you had done that. Best wife and mother of the year.

Well, I suppose my response to your little trick won't be as pleasant as yours, but it's pretty genius to me in it's simplicity.

A cute attempt to catch me off guard, that little prank of yours. Granted, it worked, but you seemed to forget that I plan wars, ____.

I win wars, ____.

Great, you can trick your husband to allow you the opportunity to throw a pie at his face.

I clawed my way to my throne. I came back from death.

You can slam a bakery treat at my face. Nice. I'm sure you're proud of yourself.

I don't think you know what you have started here. You have not yet realized retaliation was in effect. Good. I hide it well, don't I? You don't just poke fun of me that easily without me doing anything of it. You forget, I am the head of this house. You sit by my side, not above me.

I understand you got used to working and running alone. I understand that. Our power is split now, and you are trying to cope with it. I do not blame you. You don't want to tell me for fear that I will get offended, but I understand.

"Ulfric, stop looking menacing. You'll make Torman feel bad," came the quiet grumble from you, to my left.

I glanced to you, shrugging rather pathetically. I wasn't paying attention, I suppose. A bit busy.

"Is he going to jump, or is he not? I don't understand the reluctance," Hoag growled.

The other twin paced at the edge of the cliff, looking to the water bellow anxiously. Oh, I know that. I've been there.

I leaned over to Hoag. "Why don't you go see the drop then? I'm sure you'll be fine, won't you?"

I was given a dry look as the young man walked up beside his brother, and quickly paled, taking a few steps back. You shook your head.

"This was your idea, Torman," you muttered. 

"I know!" he yelped. "It's just a lot further than I thought it would be. Dad, didn't you do this jump all the time? What did you do?"

I raised a brow. "I'm not selling my secrets."

"Mom, help," Torman requested.

You stiffened.

Oh, you were just terrified of heights. "Absolutely not."

Exactly what I expected. No one wants to jump. I myself had to be pushed off by Galmar, who was more than willing to go jumping after me, apparently, because he had fallen off as well in his sabotage plan. I always had good reflexes when I was younger, and I still do. Grabbing onto him was instinct. 

I hope I have applied that theory well enough. I'd really not like to take the plunge today- the water hurts like Oblivion when you land.

"Here, we all go at one time," I offered. No, I meant how about I push you all off, but they didn't need to know that yet.

"That sounds awful," you shrieked abruptly. "I told you, Ulfric, I am not jumping!"

"Come on, it's not that scary," I assured. A sharp look was the response, but with a long enough of a stare, you eventually reached the edge with some assistance and ushering.

Hoag crept up as well, cringing. Torman was literally shaking.

"Ulfric, why aren't-"

I simply smiled, and the look of pure horror on your face was worth every moment of waiting.

A little shove to Hoag, and the three of you went down, Hoag pulling Torman down with him and you losing your balance trying to grip Torman. The yells were loud enough to nearly give an instant headache but by the gods, there couldn't have been a more perfect execution of that.

I couldn't help it. I laughed.

I laughed so hard I was just wheezing at some points. I couldn't hear you yelling all the way down there, no doubt cursing my name with such colorful words.

You were going to be pissed at me.

I knew that. 

But you started it.

You knew this was going to happen. 

I really hope this doesn't divide my family, but alas, I suppose some anger never hurts.

____, please don't take the kids. I know they secretly will laugh at this in a week- I know they'll just bounce right back after some cold shoulder treatment and glares for a few days. That's what they do. You're going to hold onto this and say it at my second deathbed, and I know it. I know you. You're pissed right now.

I love you, but you know my pride. That whole pie ordeal didn't do it any favors. I know you tried to smooth things over, and you nearly did, but you know me.

You knew this was coming.

And I meant it, pushing you in.

You know that, though.

You started this.

You put this on yourself.

Not me.

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this was great

ulfric in 1st pov is a badass 

i love it

part *gasp* 6?

requests?

Dani out,

Adieu!