ace rants

I'm back and I have a problem

Sorry I haven't posted; I was on vacation and I didn't bring my computer

I'm going to camp in a few days, so for the rest of the summer, I probably won't be posting much else

Or writing much else? I'm just gonna call it posting

Below here is kind of... not uplifting, so if you're not in the mood to be not uplifted, maybe don't read this chapter

I watched Love Simon on the plane ride back (this isn't the sad-ish part), and you know how they kiss on the top of Ferris wheel? If you haven't watched it, basically this kid named Simon falls in love with another *anonymous* kid he's emailing, and in the end they meet and kiss.

So I was watching it, and there was this big swell of music because cinematography and stuff, and I was kind of confused because, as a self-absorbed asexual, I was committing the horrendous sin of thinking how it related to me instead of being happy for Simon. Don't worry, it wasn't, "HoW cOuLd AnYoNe WaNt To KiSs?? It'S sO dIsGuStInG aNd ImPuRe." 

I was confused because I knew I wanted that, but at the same time I didn't. It was also annoying because I've developed a really bitchy voice in the back of my head that gets activated when I think about asexuality that is essentially an aggressive exclusionist, so when I think about anything that I dislike about being asexual, it says something along the lines of, "You don't know what real oppression is. Your life is perfect. You've never known pain, fuck off."

So that's a pretty good deterrent from me trying to figure out exactly how stuff works.

But anyway, I reached the conclusion (This is where you understand why my brain voice thingy was being annoying) that there's a distinct advantage of being allosexual and/or alloromantic no matter who you're attracted to because society is formatted so you can have a great life. If that makes sense?

You grow up with an outline of what a fulfilling completely allo life looks like. Marry, have/adopt kids or a pet, go on vacations, etc. Obviously not everyone can attain this, but at least society gives a suggestion of what you can want. The goal is always to have sex, I guess. Wow, I did not make it clear at all that I meant that society kind of revolves around sex before, but yeah, that's the point I'm trying to make.

When people are in life-endangering situations in shows, they go, "well at least I'm not gonna die a virgin!" And it's seen as a bad sign for a relationship if the people in it don't have sex that often. Even kids shows have sexual innuendos.

Everywhere you look, there's sex.

Now at the moment I don't have a big problem with song lyrics or anything, but instead the sex is seen as 'the endgame' or whatever.

Relationships, at least from what I've seen, are practically determined by how far you've gotten. Sex is seen as the greatest thing in the world; it's the goal. And I know we have cake, and usually cake is great, but you can't say "we ate cake together, so we're a true couple." 

It's not really fair that we basically lose an entire system of showing affection. There are other ways, but the scale of sexual acts is The Way if that makes sense. People aren't really taught to look for other ways, so if I ever dated an allosexual, I don't think it would ever work.

Also I'm kind of having a romantic orientation crisis, so that's great. Everything would be so much easier of I could just be allosexual and alloromantic.