Der Perfekte Drier (The Perfect Threesome) - A Rammstein Fanfiction

Stirb Nicht vor Mir

I awoke to Leah's gentle snores and a mild head pounding. I squint at the bedside clock. 11am. Not bad given our hectic night. I carefully peeled Leah off me and pulled the doona over her before sneaking out of the room. "Don't you dare check your phone without someone present" I hear her mumble under the doona. "Yes mum" I say quietly. I saw her form roll over before going back to sleep.

I walk out into the lounge area. Evidence of our girly shenanigans were everywhere. Empty bottles of Jack Daniels, packs of cigarettes, bras that had been abandoned, the odd roach from the few blunts we lit up last night, a pizza box on top of a lampshade and one open at a 45o angle on top of it forming a house of pizza boxes, Shannon on the couch and Jules on the floor using the other two pizza boxes as a pillow. Jesus Christ. At least there weren't any dishes since we didn't bother with glasses or plates. My phone was thankfully nowhere to be found, which I assumed was still in Shannon's pants.

I boil the kettle and it was met with a croaky chorus of "God yes please". I made everyone coffee and we drank it at my coffee table. Given how much we drank last night, I was surprised we pulled up as well as we did. "Alright. To the task at hand. Shannon? My phone please" I hold my hand out. "I don't have it" She looked at me blankly. She finally twigged and went fishing around in her jeans before handing me the phone. I wiped it on my shirt sleeve and thanked her for her "safe keeping". I turn it on and we all held our breath. 5 missed calls and at least a dozen messages, each one pinging. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

3 missed calls from Till, 2 from Richard. "Should I read each text or just send a broad message, guys?" I look around at my sisters. "Read em out and we'll tell you what to do" Jules instructs.

"Hey gorgeous, thank you for last night. Sorry I hurried off, there was something I had to deal with" is the first one I get from Richard.

"At least he didn't lie" I say bitterly.

"What are you doing tonight? I'll make it up to you" is the next one.

"Well, it's a bit late to respond to that one" Jules shrugs. "Or a bit early" Shannon jokingly chimes in. The rest from Richard were basically just a mix of Why-aren't-you-replying messages, an excess of "???" And "Hello?". Till's were roughly the same. "What are you doing tonight?" And "Hello?".

"Clearly not a dick measuring contest here" Leah says sarcastically. "Well Lainie is the only one of us who could do that" Jules joked. "They're both roughly the same. Both should be registered as weapons of ass destruction" I throw my own joke into the ring. It was met with "Jesus Christ" and "Fucking hell".

"As if they're acting like everything is ok between them" Jules said, grabbing a nearby cigarette pack and throwing it across the room when she realised it was empty. I grabbed the one closest to me and took one for myself before passing it around the circle and grabbing the ashtray.

"Seriously what do I do?" I plead. "Right" Leah grabs my phone out of my hand and taps out a response to Richard before showing it to me.

"Sorry I didn't respond but I overheard an interesting conversation regarding me and took a day off from my confusing man problems" it read.

"I can't just send that" I say to her. "Then edit it to your liking" She shrugs, taking a drag of her cigarette. I think for a second before tapping out an edited version and reading it out.

"Sorry I didn't respond but I had some urgent band business to attend to"

"Who's acting like it's all hunky dory now" Shannon rolls her eyes at me. "Anything I have to say should be said in person" I concluded before sending out the exact same message to Till. Almost immediately I get a ping from Till.

"That sounds like a load of bullshit. Look I have something I want to say and you clearly have something you want to say. Can we meet up and talk like adults?"

"Guys he's on to me" I nearly panic. "Don't worry about him. Just be your bad bitch self and tell him what's what" Leah shrugs. My heart was beginning to re-warm to him and I had to stop it. Richard's message on the other hand came through a few minutes later.

"All good. I get it. See you soon I hope"

I read out the message to the girls and they all just looked at me, eyebrows raised and stern looks. "Looks like Till is the only one willing to call you on your bullshittery" Shannon says. "I'm gonna meet up with him" I say, tapping out another response.

"Sounds good. Where do you want to meet?"

"Just...don't forget why you're talking to him alright? Don't forget about you and your needs" Jules held my hand and squeezed. I was so blessed to have the friends that I had.